I Suggest a Wilberforce-Cation

February 21, 1988

Did Brutus want to stop at Pete's Good Eats? After seeing so many signs for it, I would completely understand wanting to stop and try it out.

One of my favorite television scenes is from I Love Lucy. The Ricardos and Mertzes are heading to California and are currently in Ohio where they keep passing signs for "Aunt Sally's Pecan Pralines". The signs are so prevalent they seem to pop up every ten miles or so. As they close in on her ("We need to stop and see Aunt Sally. I feel like she's an old friend!") they are getting excited for the pecans because they are getting hungry. They pass numerous signs: "100 yards", "50 yards", "Just around the bend" and finally "You have just passed Aunt Sally's"... Backing up, they see an old shack. Lucy gets out to read the sign on the door. "Out of business". As they drive away, Fred goes "I told you she was too busy making those signs!"

Wilberforce, we just explained what a 'sleepcation' was. Did you listen to anything that we said? Now we're gonna go with the sleepcation and you can just live with it.

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Seriously. Every Week?

edited from the original, by Lee Judge

November 15, 1966

He remembered her. It was after everything else and when he was in the car and possibly driving away, but he remembered her!

Where are they going? Must not be for very long since they aren't taking any luggage.

Wilberforce is back and he's smarter than ever!

I stopped raking years ago after learning about how our little animal friends use the leaves to stay warm and hide food during the cold months (and a little out of spite, but that's another story). Anyway, quit kowtowing to Big Rake Capitalism and stop raking leaves.

And stop using leaf blowers.

Why Does He Still Have That?

September 1, 1966

Looks like Brutus thinking only with his penis has come back to bite him in the ass. I don't feel this is a think for proto-Gladys to get upset about. Although I'm having trouble trying to figure out why and when Brutus was in Paris. World War II? That was twenty years before this comic. Now I'm concerned about the age of this French woman at that time.

This strip is clearly for people of a certain age. I'm an old Millennial and do not know of this clothing style.

The thing is, Brutus and Gladys should be older Millennials as well. Or young Gen X. They should also not know of this style.

The Sap Runs Every March

August 17, 1965

I need more of Bernardi and His Dog. The dog is wearing a beret! The dog can talk! This is the best train ride ever!

One nitpick: I feel the Egyptologist (Robert Langdon?)'s word bubbles should be on the left and Bernardi's dog's on the right.

Making your own syrup seems like a lot of work especially considering you need ten gallons to make one damn quart. It also requires a lot of boiling. Do you own a ten gallon pot to boil sap in, Brutus? Do you?

Third Time's the Charm

August 13, 1989

So Acme makes tea cozies as well? Or does Veeblefester just sell the cozies? Is Veeblefester just a tea cozy middleman--a Dunder Mifflin Tea Cozy Company, if you will?

This sounds like something that could be handled over the phone, Brutus. Or fax.

I saw today's strip and immediately thought it was a rerun. Then I saw the copyright of 2024 and was like, no, I've seen this before. And I have.

I don't understand why a company would spend hundreds of dollars for a plane trip that lasts two hours maximum when you could just use the company car and drive the damn two hours. I feel driving would be cheaper. And doesn't Veeblefester want to be cheaper?

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Time for Some Creative Writing

May 1, 1976

Wait a minute...

I wonder how many rehashes of 35 year old comics I've missed? At least it's not a word-for-word repeat.

I would just fake it. Say you, your parents, and a friend all drove to a amusement park. Along the way, you pick up an escaped convict you mistakenly think is a hitchhiker. When you finally get to the amusement park, you just tour the park in the monorail and then head back home. Sure, it's the Plucky Duck plot of Tiny Toons: How I Spent My Vacation but what are the chances the teacher knows that?

The Great Portland Adventure (Not Shown)

Why does Mother Gargle get to dictate the menu? Is she helping pay for it? Is she helping cook it? It'd be one thing if she just showed up once a month but clearly she's been here for more than a week and we're on our second, maybe even third liver and onion dinner.

We're not at that point yet. Things that are in the can will still air, production has stopped on most everything else. Besides, there are hundreds, maybe thousands, of shows out there you can watch. You don't have to succumb to any of these things--especially the reality shows.

I don't even want to glance at the comments on this strip about how schools don't teach cursive anymore. They don't have time, people. They have to make sure the kid's reading comprehension is up to par before the four standardized tests they have to take during the year.

I thought Mother Gargle had recently sent Gladys a letter and I was like "But she spends 50% of her time at her daughter's house", but then I realized that it's probably a letter from when Gladys was in college or something. Replies for Gladys asking for money.

Common mistake I assume as most people are going to Portland, Oregon and not Portland, Maine.

Brutus had to drive to Portland?! That's an 11-hour drive! He had to have stayed in a hotel! Did Veeblefester pay for that? What about gas?! Good lord, now that's a business trip!

We had to come up with a one-word description of ourselves when we started back up at work. I didn't come up with one--I refuse to be dumbed-down to just one word. But I should've said 'steady' and saw how many people asked themselves "Steady? What the hell is he talking about?"

"I didn't go shopping, I stayed home and shopped." Brutus is now shopping online for how much quicklime he would need to dissolve Gladys and if it would damage his bathtub or pipes.

He's reading the manual for a universal remote, which is weird considering all it has is the instructions on how to program the remote and the codes all in seven different languages. What are you expecting to find? A way to remove laugh tracks? A way to give the vaguest description and still be able to find the actor you want to watch? A way to mute Gladys when she starts complaining about you watching too many sports games?

Wowee Maui

I am trying to migrate away from Twitter so have been focusing more of my social media usage on Mastodon. History and cemetery posts will continue on Instagram but I'm not sure how much I will actually be online since I want to focus on writing and getting my book edited but I'll be around.

Classic Born Loser strips from the 1970s will return next week but I still have today's strip ready to go.

You are perfectly free to have your conferences in Maui, just don't expect the company to pay for it.

What's the business conference for? Is it for all the board members or other tea cozy CEOs? And is it really a conference or is it a bunch of rich people hunting people for sport on an island 3,000 miles from Maui?

Any Port In a Storm

If Mother Gargle had the money, she would just follow her horniness to wherever it takes her!

Hey, Mother Gargle, if you have an adventurous spirit, I know just the guy for you. He likes getting outdoors and, apparently, older women. In fact, he's taken several cruises that...Wait. I just remembered. He's already in a committed relationship. Also, he might be dead.

But why? You've broken up, like, three times in the last year. You watched this man drunkingly scream songs during karaoke thus ruining that music forever. He got into a literal pissing contest with your cat which should've shut down any romantic thoughts about him. I'm also fairly certain that you've never met his daughter. You know he has a daughter, right?

Death Valley Days

Spending a week in Death Valley doesn't sound like that bad of a vacation. I don't know if I would spend a week there--maybe a day or two then drive to Sequioa National Park for a couple days then Joshua Tree National Park.

Honestly, if I were going to do (and I would like to), I would start out at Lassen National Park and just make my way south.

Coincidence? Nah

I don't pretend that people read my blog. I like to secretly imagine that Chip does though. I don't know why. It just makes me feel better. So when I complain about Born Loser not doing storylines and then we get this and then this:

...It just makes me think he reads it but I know daily strips are done at least two weeks in advance to a more plausible explanation is that I can see into the future.