1137: Who Else Would Have Her?

I'm sure most readers will see this as Brutus just walking away all lovestruck but I think he fainted, his poor heart not being able to take the stress of possibly being rejected by his own wife on Valentine's Day. He's on the floor right now clutching his chest, sweating profusely and making gurgling sounds while Gladys, who just agreed to be his Valentine, talks to...someone...

Happy Valentine's Day!

1136: Gary Owens, 1934-2015

Gary Owens, voice artist extraordinaire whose trademark baritone voice was heard on Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In, cartoons like Space Ghost, Blue Falcon, Garfield and Friends, The Ren and Stimpy and numerous other guest roles, has passed away. He was 80.

Just take some flowers from the local cemetery. Gladys will never know the difference.*









*Note: I do not condone stealing flowers from a cemetery.

1135: Should've Known She Was Online Shopping Since She Doesn't Have Any Bags

I sometimes think online shopping is more exhausting because you are not quite sure what you want especially if it's clothes. Will these pants fit the same as all the other pants I have from this company in this size? I can't try them on so I hope so. What's the return policy just in case. Should I have them delivered to the store and pick them up or just have them delivered to my house? So many questions and so much work. I need a nap.

1134: It Was Going To Be Such a Good Rant, Too

I was going to post something yesterday because I wanted to talk about the Grammys but I didn't get home until late and then I never got online and I have completely forgot what I was going to rant about. It was something about how no one who is expected to win ever seems to win anymore but I had something much more eloquent thought out when I was driving to work yesterday.

Instead of yelling at him for spilling coffee, why don't suggest he shove a napkin in his collar to help absorb the coffee or how about you get a Tide stain remover pen or have Brutus take off that shirt and immediately throw it in the laundry or try to clean it up with water? Why are you even getting mad at him? Sure, he's spilling coffee on his white shirt but you're the one that doesn't seem to know what to do to get a coffee stain out of a shirt.

That's not how splitting a check works.

Why even ask? Just pay for what you ordered. If you split something, then each of you pay half for it. God, why am I the only one who knows how things work in this comic strip?

1133: Wilberforce V. Brutus: Title Bout

I've don't think I've ever seen Wilberforce play a video game. In fact, a click on the video game tag brings up only my review of the Super Nintendo game Mighty Max--which you should definitely read if you haven't or reread if you have.

I see Sunday is when Wilberforce is going to aggrevate Brutus, giving Gladys a short respite from the nightmare she was in Friday and Saturday.

1132: Wilberforce v. Gladys

For some reason, it seems as if TV writers, movie writers, really any writer, are under the impression that kids go to school at 9 or something. How many things show kids getting up at 6 and being able to eat a large breakfast, take a shower, finish homework, walk the dog and take their time getting dressed all before school starts? In reality, kids have about as much time to eat something small and throw on clothes then head out the door. Maybe if you have good time management you could cram all that in but you know Wilberforce doesn't have good time management skills so of course he's having a good day, he's only been up for ten minutes.

Wilberforce is really poking at Gladys. Maybe he's doing some research for Pope Francis on how hard you can spank a child before they start to lose their dignity.

1131: Thornapple v. Gargle, Redux

I wish I knew what Mother Gargle has done. Knowing Brutus, it's probably something pretty insignificant. What I find scary is that somewhere, off panel, Mother Gargle is there--waiting and watching.

1130: I Would Think Salisbury Steak

Honestly, the fish sticks and sliders sounds pretty good to me. It's odd that Veeblefester assumes it's lobster and steak when he's clearly familiar with the 'corner deli.'

1129: Guys, It's Just a Groundhog

Did you all see that ludicrous display last night? I'm not a sports person but I always watch the Super Bowl because there was a time it was a family occasion. I was rooting for the Seahawks mainly because I felt Patriot fans handled the "deflategate" nontroversy very poorly. They made it seem like it was some sort of attack on them when, if it had happened to any other team, they would've screamed for the wins to be tossed out and the quarterback banned from playing football forever. I assume all football teams would act like that had it been their team but it was the Patriots and they could've handled it so much better but instead chose to act like little kids and treated the Super Bowl like some sort of revenge.

Seriously, why aren't their game balls to play with that the players aren't allowed to touch until they are on the field?

One thing I've never understood about Groundhog Day is if the groundhog sees his shadow then we will have six more weeks of winter while not seeing his shadow, spring comes early. Six weeks would essentially push winter to almost the spring equinox but what constitutes early? Two weeks? Four weeks? And how much longer are we going to be under the thumb of the groundhog cartels?

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1128: No Tip for Her

Congrats to this crappy diner that basically admits that they serve slop for calling their lunchtime special "the businessperson." This waitress still only gets 77 cents for every dollar her male counterpart gets but small steps. Small steps.