Tell Pop to Drop Dead

April 18, 1967

"Hello, Mommy, Hello, Daddy"? Are we sure Wilberforce isn't an alien? It would explain so much about why Wilberforce looks the way he looks.

What kind of name is Dik-Kayydd. Is it pronounced like "decayed"? What kind of alien name is that?

Why is Brutus sending Wilberforce to tell his wife to get to cooking? Is it because Gladys will gladly hit her husband but he knows she won't hit her child? Fight your own battles, Brutus. Leave Wilberforce out of it.

The Show Will Last 6 Seasons

April 17, 1967

Did Brutus catch that fish or is this just some random fish he wants on the wall? If it's just some random fish then get rid of it. Unless the theme of your house or a specific room is "fish" then a fish on the wall just looks tacky.

Last week!!? Are networks rerunning episodes the following week now? Or is this a special re-airing of a pilot episode? Either way, it's not a good sign that the show is predictable yet unmemorable.

Your Finest Glass, Please

April 15, 1967

I feel this is all on Brutus. All you had to do was tap it in and you failed miserably. I think any idiot could've sunk that ball, no matter how loud the sneeze is.

So Veeblefester admits that Brutus completes him. You can't have yin without yang and the two together create harmony and are essential for mutual survival. It's nice to know how much Veeblefester really cares about Brutus and loves him.

I mean, I'm no sommelier, but isn't every wine just red or white with different varieties under each one? If Brutus says "red" then the waiter can be like "Cabernet sauvignon, Malbec, or Zinfadel?" It's not like Brutus can afford a lot of wine anyway.

Not a Morning Person

April 14, 1967

Welp, they're dead!

How? How are you going to look for an island with more vegetation? Even islands that are close together are still far apart. The big island of Hawai'i is still 30 miles from Maui. 14 miles separates the North and South island of New Zealand. Can you swim that far? In the ocean?

Brutus, I could sleep for two hours or for twelve hours and every hour in-between and it wouldn't make me any less tired to wake up in the morning. Because that's the problem--the waking up in the morning.

Monday Quickies

April 13, 1967

Is that Gladys? I can't tell because of the scanner reflection. Gladys is going golfing with the rest of Brutus' foursome while he sits at home with the measles? Ok, sure.

Let this be a reminder to get vaccinated. I don't know about you, but I don't like to or want to get sick.

At least this married squabble is between Brutus and Veeblefester this time and not Brutus and Gladys.

Sigh. Mondays.

Brutus' Crossed Arms Look Like Stumps

November 29, 1987

Now this makes a lot more sense then this. I can certainly believe Veeblefester would employ Brutus to push his car to save gas (re: money) than Veeblefester stopping and picking up Brutus who needs a ride based on some old family story about Henry Ford.

I don't like when Brutus has an existential crisis. Those aren't funny and I don't want to further precipitate his slide into depression. But I do want to question the "know-it-all" when Brutus was a kid. Really? Was Brutus pretty smart as a child? It's a shame the adults in his life were terrible, but thus is the life of an American child.

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Commercials Are What Made This Country Great (well, not great...)

April 12, 1967

Oh, I don't want to hear about your trip to Hawaii. I don't know about other people but I rarely want to hear about your vacations. Unless you can cram the highlights into a few sentences or you did something that I actually find interesting, I'm not necessarily interested. Unless I specifically ask about your vacation, then you can just go to town because that's on me.

Gladys is standing right there. Brutus should make an excuse or something to just walk away.

I'm kind of surprised Brutus pays for the highest tier subscriptions that get rid of commercials altogether, because most streaming services have commercials.

I feel like this comic would work better in 2021(?) when streaming services were still hoping to make revenue from subscriptions alone and not using commercials.

I Mean, I Guess There's Technically a Distinction

April 11, 1967

I always felt like I would like croquet. I don't really understand anything about it. Like what's going on here. I see this as a joke in a lot of things, but I don't understand. And looking it up didn't help.

At least Gladys is having fun. I don't know what's wrong with Brutus. Just enjoy spending time with your wife.

I was trying to think why the vultures had to be English. It's because of the "Keep Calm and Carry On" pun. Why wouldn't Uncle Ted just say British? I don't think the joke needs the nationally at all really.

You Have a Question, You Ask the 8-Ball

Apologies for no post yesterday. Our little lady Katy had to go to the vet which ended up taking longer than we thought and, after getting dinner, eating, and such, I just wasn't up to doing a post.

She is fine. Has a small growth in her throat restricting some airflow. Hopefully some antibiotics can get rid of it. She is usually pretty healthy so this is unlike her. But she is almost 18-years-old so the fact that she is pretty healthy is somewhat astounding.

Anyway, send good tidings to our sweet old lady and let's get on with today's post.

April 10, 1967

"Saucy wench"? I don't know what's gotten into Brutus today, but I'm not a fan of losing out on that pie. Oh, well. Serves him right. It's a fake pie in a comic strip, I wouldn't have gotten a piece anyway.

I like the look of that sweater. Shame we probably will never see it again.

I looked at back comics thinking I have seen Brutus in a sleeveless sweater before. I couldn't find one, but I swear he has been seen in one. Is a sweater vest the same thing?

I do appreciate Mother Gargle's dedication to the bit.

It's pretty ballsy of Brutus to constantly be asking the fortune teller for a better price or a discount. This is her job, Brutus! If you don't want to pay what she believes she is worth then you don't need to use her services. And that goes for all of you out there!

That's Not Dinner, Gladys Is Boiling Dish Rags

April 8, 1967

I don't think this is in Brutus' job description. What? It is? And even if it wasn't, the line "Any other requests from supervisors or managers" makes it okay? Capitalism is great!

Veeblefester is bad at darts.

Is Gladys a good cook or not??!!?? I swear this comic goes back and forth on that. So, here's what I think. *deep breath* I think Gladys is a good cook, but I think she experiments too much. "This food no one likes was on sale, let's try something new!" There's a reason it was on sale, Gladys!

So Really the Award Is for the Donuts

April 7, 1967

🎵Peter Rabbit is a stupid book

About a stupid rabbit

Who steals vegetables from other people's gardens.🎶

I don't know what the rabbit is getting out of these just-planted whatever-they-are, but what do I know about rabbits or gardening? Not much.

Brutus has never gotten employee of the month?! In [mumbles number] years of working for Veeblefester? Even I've gotten employee of the month and I am very mediocre and not at all special.

Wait Until Hattie Learns There's a Skiing Event Where You Shoot Guns

November 22, 1987

I will be honest that I miss living in an era where you had to call people in order to get information. You want the temperature? You have to call. You want to know what the official languages are in Djibouti? You have to call the library. You want to know if our lives are controlled by nature or nurture? You have to call the psych department at the local university.

You would think Brutus would absolutely be against "heredity" making him, and by extension Wilberforce, who they are. At least Brutus gets $10. $10 that is technically his money anyway since he's the only one who works and he and Gladys are married, but $10 nonetheless.

This is a great example of why you rarely use current events in your comic strip. You created this tribute to a great skier, who is inspiring Hattie to become an Olympic champion, and all people will think about while reading this is...

Anyway, he's to Hurricane Hattie learning to ski. I know she's stuck in an infinite comic strip time loop, but let's encourage every little girl and all of their dreams.

What Did Gladys Get Brutus?

April 6, 1967

Why would Gladys ring the doorbell? I guess maybe she didn't take anything with her, she just stormed out of the house. I don't know. I'm ambivalent to Brutus and Gladys' marriage. I think they can both do better.

"I'm going home to mother!"

I'm sure these would be good if you liked sardines. I mean, there's a market for these. Did Brutus not know Gladys doesn't like sardines?

"I'm going home to mother!"

Man On the Inside

April 5, 1967

I was going to make a joke about Brutus being from the past because he's scared of a tea kettle whistle, but the first whistling tea kettle was made in 1923. Brutus should be aware of whistling tea kettles, especially in his own house. Maybe he's from the future...

Nice one.

Do you mean to tell me there are other tea cozy companies? Someone else makes this crap? This officially makes me believe Veeblefester is a tea cozy manufacturer and not just a tea cozy middleman.

What a Day Keeps Wilberforce Away?

April 3, 1967

What is Gladys' hat? I originally thought maybe it was a feminine bowler hat. Maybe something like this:

But now I'm not so sure.

This is how the United States is dealing with healthcare now. "Just eat apples and you'll be fine. Trust me, I'm Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. and standing next to me is professional boxer Mike Tyson. Between us, we have zero years experience in medical or nutritional fields."

Look at Wilberforce's face in the last panel. "What are you talking about? I'm not asking about onions and I don't really need to know about your love life, Uncle Ted."

New Diner Items

JAMES VAN DER BEEK

1977 - 2026

March 31, 1967

Ha-ha! Brutus loves Gladys! Brutus had me right up until the "tootsie-boo-boo" part. That is embarrassing. I would sigh, cry, and die as well.

This diner now has a black angus burger? Made with real angus? How much is a regular burger? Those are pretty expensive, too. I think Chip aged the diner waitress. Here she is in October and here she is last week? Are they the same woman? This bothers me more than it should.

Hmmmmm....

Questionable Tuesday

March 30, 1967

Ooh. Definitely turning that off or disconnecting it or whatever I have to do. What is Veeblefester's chair? Is that a throne?

And does Brutus have to find this volunteer? Is Brutus now the volunteer? This all could've been done over that speaker.

Wow. If you have to warn someone "Hey, I have a question so just remember that there's no such thing as a stupid question..." then you should just not ask your question. Honestly, it'd be better if Brutus just went "I have a stupid question..." and asked his question.

Post-Big Game Quickies

March 29, 1967

I always roll my eyes at this trope. I think it's used in practically every TV show from I Love Lucy to The Golden Girls. I guess the trick to a souffle that doesn't collapse is whipping old eggs. I don't know, I've never made one. This is what the internet says.

At least they can still eat whatever is in the pot.

Sure, I guess the Seahawks' dark blue uniforms were the prettiest. Gladys seems more like someone who picks the winner based on which team has the cutest quarterback.

Now, did they actually bet using one of the several gambling apps that are slowly ruining people's lives or was this just a friendly wager between husband, wife, and maybe Uncle Ted?

Settle In for Sports Ball

November 15, 1987

She doesn't...look?...old? I would assume that Veeblefester's secretary would know what his wife looks like, but I guess Veeblefester must not have any pictures of her. I guess it would be hard to have an affair with someone in your office with pictures of your family staring back at you.

Anyway, do better Veeblefester's unnamed secretary.

When does this comic take place? They are already sitting down like the game is about to start, dinner will be ready at halftime, but Uncle Ted says they still have hours before they eat. Wait. Coverage of this crap begins at noon? Sweet Jesus!

That orange chair really clashes with...everything.