Hattie's parent have apparently went on another bender and have abandoned their child leaving the Thornapples as Hattie's interim guardians. Calls have been made but one wonders when the State is going to get involved.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Parentless Waif
Hattie's parent have apparently went on another bender and have abandoned their child leaving the Thornapples as Hattie's interim guardians. Calls have been made but one wonders when the State is going to get involved.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Gelman!
Wednesday, February 09, 2011
Don't Forget Those Robot Surgeons
What the hell--? Copyright date is 2011. Date is signed 2/9. Why is this a Christmas strip? Have the Thornapples really had their tree up this entire time? Chip is really reaching for a joke today. I'm very disappointed.
Tuesday, February 08, 2011
Suburban Cleveland Got a Snow Day
It's good to see Brutus and Gladys actually agreeing on something this time. I especially like seeing them in agreement about the junk food in their fridge. I'm just wondering if "goodies" means actually junk food or if it's groceries for the next two, three weeks. Because there is nothing better than a fridge full of groceries.
Also, Hattie's perfectly made snowfall has caused Wilberforce to have a mini-stroke. But he's feeling much better now.
Sunday, February 06, 2011
America Runs on Dunkin...and Snow Days
So there was a commentator on my local paper's website that every time there was snow in the forecast, even if it was just a dusting would threaten the school district to close school. She would argue that it was too cold for kids to be out and much too dangerous. And if school wasn't canceled, then she would keep her kids home anyway.
I personally didn't care what she did with her kids but she seemed like one of those parents that would yell and scream and curse for the district to cancel school because it was cold and dangerous but would then take her kids out to Target or Walmart to do running around. In one comment she made the mistake of mentioning going to Dunkin Donuts one morning when school was canceled basically creating a running joke all her own. She has quit posting because she could barely dish it out and she definitely couldn't take it but the Dunkin Donuts jokes continue every time there are threats of snow.
Saturday, February 05, 2011
Marriage Is Apparently a Concept of the Devil
Is it me or does Mother Gargle's nose look more crooked than usual?
How come movies, TV, books and comic strips, not to mention numerous other things out there in the world, showcase marriage as some horrid one-sided argument where only the women win and the man is always miserable and praying for death? What started this trend and when, for the love of all that is holy, is it going to end?
Friday, February 04, 2011
That's Not How Thermoses Work
Well, that sounds better than what Hattie has for lunch which is a pack of sugar and peanut butter smeared on a playing card.
Wednesday, February 02, 2011
That's What She Said?
The groundhog--Punxatawney (sic?) Phil--did not see his shadow so Spring should come early. I could care less. I want all the snow to melt. I want to not feel sick anymore. Both of those things are out of the hands (paws?) of a damn groundhog.
Also, I've never understood the "six more weeks of winter" vs. "early Spring" thing. Technically, couldn't early Spring be five weeks from now? Lousy groundhogs....
Tuesday, February 01, 2011
Stull #7
"You're going alone?" Matt asked.
"I think I might be perceived as less of a threat if I go alone," Frank explained.
"Or perceived as easier to kill. Why don't I just go with you?"
"People know where I'm going. They can't kill me because it would call attention to them. They are not just going to kill people because then they leave evidence that they exist."
"I've seen those vampire television shows and townspeople are killed all the time and no one seems to care," Matt said.
"I will be fine. Besides, you and Katie are going out to find your old family cemetery. I'll see you tonight," Frank smiled.
"Lunch"
Frank sat down at the table across from Judith. She had already ordered herself something to drink and was going over the menu thoroughly. "So glad you could join me, Frank. I've been wanting to get together with you for awhile," Judith said.
"My pleasure. After this, I'm driving out to Rock Creek to hopefully check that off the list."
"The vampires?"
"So you've heard?"
"Except for a few, they all live peacefully and the peaceful ones keep the others in line."
"Well that's good. Which ones are the good ones?" Frank asked.
"That we don't know. But I'm sure you can figure it out," Judith replied. "But I want to know more about you. When's the last time you saw your sister?"
Frank was taken aback by the direct question. He took a deep breath, "She's been in the Ohio State Psychiatric Correctional Facility since I was six so it's been about twenty years."
"You've never visited her?" Judith asked.
"She killed my parents and would've killed me. What exactly would we have to talk about? Madeline may be my sister but she is not family," Frank said.
"Why do you think she did it?" Judith asked.
"Psychologically? I don't know. From what I remember our parents were decent people and Madeline was a normal preteen until that night. I blame it on the curse even though I know that's just an easy answer that doesn't actually answer any questions."
"And you went to live with your aunt and uncle?"
"Yeah, my mom's sister and her husband. He killed himself when I was fifteen. She died of lung cancer shortly after I graduated from college. Since then it's been just me."
"What about friends, relationships, girlfriends?" Judith asked then lowered her voice. "Boyfriends?"
Frank chuckled. "I was never one for friends. They always seemed to move away. Only Matt has remained. As for girlfriends, I've had one since high school. It ended badly and I don't like to talk about it."
"You'll talk about your parent's murder and your sister but not about your ex-girlfriend? Very well. What about the girl you work with?"
"Katie? She's a great girl but only a friend and an employee. To want anything more with her would be unprofessional, not to mention weird."
"Cem-e-tery!" Matt loudly enunciated to his 93-year-old Great-Grandma.
"Oh! Cemetery! You'll have to speak up, Matty. You mumble too much," she patted Matt's cheek. "No one asks about the cemetery. Probably best left forgotten. The old family cemetery is along the creek. On the back end of the farm. Are you staying for dinner?"
"I don't think so, MeeMaw. Maybe some other time. Katie and I are going to go find the cemetery. Thanks, MeeMaw."
The Stull Farm was located three miles northeast of Stull and had been in the family since the town's founding. It was 120 acres of good farmland and while most of it was going unused, it was leased to the Herkimer family who ran a dairy, paid taxes and kept the profits for themselves. They helped keep up the farm and helped MeeMaw keep up the house.
The east end of the farm was bordered by a creek thick with decades of tree growth. Matt and Katie walked to the southern boundary and began heading east. They walked for almost an hour and nearly passed the cemetery because of it being hidden by trees and the cemetery only had one headstone remaining. The stone was a moss and lichen covered obelisk barely legible due to over a hundred years of neglect and nature.
"There's only one stone," Katie said. "How do we know who is buried here?"
Matt took out a piece of rice paper and a charcoal crayon from the backpack he brought and knelt down in front of the single stone and began doing a grave rubbing. "We'll have to look at my family tree and see where everyone is buried. The ones we don't have a grave listing for would be buried here."
"How many do you think are buried here?" Katie asked.
"No more than a dozen--if that," Matt finished the rubbing and stood up. "Frank will be proud that I actually did a grave rubbing. Let's head back to the house."
When they got back to the house, Matt approached his MeeMaw about the cemetery. "MeeMaw? Katie and I found the cemetery. Do you know who is buried in it?"
"Oh, GeePaw's grandpa, his grandpa's father. Their wives. A few children," MeeMaw said. "I'm not really sure. There was a book published in the early 20th Century about the founding of Stull. The book used entries from G.W. Stull's sister's diary. Only a few copies were made and it very unpopular with our family because it depicted the Stulls as murdering thieves."
"Oh my God! I need that book! Do you have a copy?" Matt asked.
"I think so. It should be in the attic. The diary is long gone though."
"That's okay. The book is all we need."
"Be careful in Rock Creek. You never quite know what to expect," Judith said as she and Frank stood outside the restaurant next to his car.
"You never quite know what to expect anywhere around here," Frank said and got in his car. He started the engine, backed out and waved to Judith as he pulled away.
As he drove out of Tontzville on State Highway 571 and exited at the Stull exit, the sun shone brightly. As he traveled toward Rock Creek along the county road, the sun became hidden by clouds that seemed to appear from nowhere.
Next: Rock Creek disappears; Matt and Katie search for the book.
"I think I might be perceived as less of a threat if I go alone," Frank explained.
"Or perceived as easier to kill. Why don't I just go with you?"
"People know where I'm going. They can't kill me because it would call attention to them. They are not just going to kill people because then they leave evidence that they exist."
"I've seen those vampire television shows and townspeople are killed all the time and no one seems to care," Matt said.
"I will be fine. Besides, you and Katie are going out to find your old family cemetery. I'll see you tonight," Frank smiled.
"Lunch"
Frank sat down at the table across from Judith. She had already ordered herself something to drink and was going over the menu thoroughly. "So glad you could join me, Frank. I've been wanting to get together with you for awhile," Judith said.
"My pleasure. After this, I'm driving out to Rock Creek to hopefully check that off the list."
"The vampires?"
"So you've heard?"
"Except for a few, they all live peacefully and the peaceful ones keep the others in line."
"Well that's good. Which ones are the good ones?" Frank asked.
"That we don't know. But I'm sure you can figure it out," Judith replied. "But I want to know more about you. When's the last time you saw your sister?"
Frank was taken aback by the direct question. He took a deep breath, "She's been in the Ohio State Psychiatric Correctional Facility since I was six so it's been about twenty years."
"You've never visited her?" Judith asked.
"She killed my parents and would've killed me. What exactly would we have to talk about? Madeline may be my sister but she is not family," Frank said.
"Why do you think she did it?" Judith asked.
"Psychologically? I don't know. From what I remember our parents were decent people and Madeline was a normal preteen until that night. I blame it on the curse even though I know that's just an easy answer that doesn't actually answer any questions."
"And you went to live with your aunt and uncle?"
"Yeah, my mom's sister and her husband. He killed himself when I was fifteen. She died of lung cancer shortly after I graduated from college. Since then it's been just me."
"What about friends, relationships, girlfriends?" Judith asked then lowered her voice. "Boyfriends?"
Frank chuckled. "I was never one for friends. They always seemed to move away. Only Matt has remained. As for girlfriends, I've had one since high school. It ended badly and I don't like to talk about it."
"You'll talk about your parent's murder and your sister but not about your ex-girlfriend? Very well. What about the girl you work with?"
"Katie? She's a great girl but only a friend and an employee. To want anything more with her would be unprofessional, not to mention weird."
"Cem-e-tery!" Matt loudly enunciated to his 93-year-old Great-Grandma.
"Oh! Cemetery! You'll have to speak up, Matty. You mumble too much," she patted Matt's cheek. "No one asks about the cemetery. Probably best left forgotten. The old family cemetery is along the creek. On the back end of the farm. Are you staying for dinner?"
"I don't think so, MeeMaw. Maybe some other time. Katie and I are going to go find the cemetery. Thanks, MeeMaw."
The Stull Farm was located three miles northeast of Stull and had been in the family since the town's founding. It was 120 acres of good farmland and while most of it was going unused, it was leased to the Herkimer family who ran a dairy, paid taxes and kept the profits for themselves. They helped keep up the farm and helped MeeMaw keep up the house.
The east end of the farm was bordered by a creek thick with decades of tree growth. Matt and Katie walked to the southern boundary and began heading east. They walked for almost an hour and nearly passed the cemetery because of it being hidden by trees and the cemetery only had one headstone remaining. The stone was a moss and lichen covered obelisk barely legible due to over a hundred years of neglect and nature.
"There's only one stone," Katie said. "How do we know who is buried here?"
Matt took out a piece of rice paper and a charcoal crayon from the backpack he brought and knelt down in front of the single stone and began doing a grave rubbing. "We'll have to look at my family tree and see where everyone is buried. The ones we don't have a grave listing for would be buried here."
"How many do you think are buried here?" Katie asked.
"No more than a dozen--if that," Matt finished the rubbing and stood up. "Frank will be proud that I actually did a grave rubbing. Let's head back to the house."
When they got back to the house, Matt approached his MeeMaw about the cemetery. "MeeMaw? Katie and I found the cemetery. Do you know who is buried in it?"
"Oh, GeePaw's grandpa, his grandpa's father. Their wives. A few children," MeeMaw said. "I'm not really sure. There was a book published in the early 20th Century about the founding of Stull. The book used entries from G.W. Stull's sister's diary. Only a few copies were made and it very unpopular with our family because it depicted the Stulls as murdering thieves."
"Oh my God! I need that book! Do you have a copy?" Matt asked.
"I think so. It should be in the attic. The diary is long gone though."
"That's okay. The book is all we need."
"Be careful in Rock Creek. You never quite know what to expect," Judith said as she and Frank stood outside the restaurant next to his car.
"You never quite know what to expect anywhere around here," Frank said and got in his car. He started the engine, backed out and waved to Judith as he pulled away.
As he drove out of Tontzville on State Highway 571 and exited at the Stull exit, the sun shone brightly. As he traveled toward Rock Creek along the county road, the sun became hidden by clouds that seemed to appear from nowhere.
Next: Rock Creek disappears; Matt and Katie search for the book.
Diner Mishaps
Because turkey and chicken are the exact same thing.
Years ago, I was traveling to Houston and we stopped at a Hardee's at a rest area on the Kansas Turnpike near Belle Plaine. We had to wait forever in line to order and they were out of fries so they substituted fries for pies but they didn't have apple, they only had cherry. After we had eaten and were leaving I overheard people in the back announce that they were almost out of hamburger.
You are probably one of the busiest Hardee's in the midwest and you don't have enough hamburger meat? Come on!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)