And On the Back It Says "I'm From Missouri"

I rode with someone to help with the delivery and we listened to a lot of country music. It made me reinforce the reasons I do not like today's country music. Kenny Chesney, who is now contractually obligated to continuously wear some form of hat now, has a song out--it came out in 2010--called "The Boys of Fall." It's about football. I originally thought it was about baseball which would also be stupid to sing about. All country songs are now are depressing love/ex-love songs or masturbatory Americana.

I blame Alan Jackson and Toby Keith. Remember when country songs were actually universal and everybody could see a little bit of themselves in them. Now, all country songs are marketed to rural/Bible Belt areas, all of who want to have sex with Lady Liberty (and don't realize she is French). But maybe I am being too harsh. Let's look at some lyrics from "Where I Come From" by Alan Jackson.

I was chasin' sun on 101
somewhere around Ventura
I lost a universal joint and I had to use my finger
This tall lady stopped and asked
If I had plans for dinner
Said no thanks ma'am, back home
we like the girls that sing soprano

I wrote better poetry than this. And I can't write poetry to save my life! He mushes up the words 'finger' and 'dinner' to force them to rhyme and commits an unforgivable act by attempting to rhyme 'Ventura' and 'soprano'. Sigh. Let's move on...

Here's a bit of history for you. The 'buck' in "The buck stops here" does not refer to money but to "passing the buck", as in blaming someone else for your own actions. But I understand Veeblefester's comment about the economy but you have to wonder if a corporation based solely on the manufacturing of tea cozies is viable in this day and age.

The Price of Crude

I'm wondering why people aren't fussing more about gas prices. I remember back in 2008 that people struck back, using public transportation and just not going anywhere. This time, not so much.

I looked up gas prices in Cleveland, Ohio and the cheapest I saw was $3.67 per gallon which would give Gladys not even 3 gallons for her $10.

Sunday Is TMI Day

I, for one, welcome this legislation. It also helps get rid of pesky erectile dysfunction ads between 6 A.M. and 10 P.M. I don't know how those old people who watch "The Price Is Right" are supposed to remember to ask their doctor about Viagra or Levitra but that's not my problem. My penis works just fine.

They're Going to Get Worse Again?

It looks like the bad economy and the recession have finally started taking its toll on the tea cozy industry. Luckily, Obama will consider Veeblefester Corp. too big to fail so Veeblefester will be able to give himself his annual April bonus this year.

Curse You, John Law!!

Yes, it has been a hard year for all of us. Even for fictitious multi-national tea cozy conglomerates.

And no, they aren't shares for Veeblefester Corp. but for Circuit City and Behr-Stearns. How else could they get them so cheap?

An Unbelievable Weekend

They are some that do come with a string that you can use to keep the phone on your wrist. Or you can buy those cell phone covers that attach to your pants. And I know people who immediately come home, put the phone on a charger and leave it there the rest of the night so it is as useful as a phone with a cord.


I find that hard to believe that no one thought to prepare themselves with a coin. And don't pull that economic crap on me. The economy could be worse. It's not that bad like it was towards the end of 2008. At least companies and banks aren't going out of business all around us.

Tea Cozy Sales Down? Who Would've Thought...

You know, I don't think the bad tea cozy sales are because of the economy, I think it's because people don't buy tea cozies.

When's the last time you bought a tea cozy? Do any of you even own tea cozies? Didn't think so. And why does Veeblefester constantly refuse to believe his business is failing? He's done this before and Brutus got angry at him then too. I can't imagine that Veeblefester is that blind and I would blame his "Yes" men but Brutus is obviously not a yes man.

Also, is the sales chart based on monthly performance? Quarterly? Yearly? Consider how high the early part of the chart is, it most be by decade.

Octo-Mom

Hell has officially froze over because while it's a few weeks late, this strip is topical and so topical that irradiated microbursts have appeared in the second panel.

I don't like Nadya Suleman (or Octo-Mom) and I'm glad I'm not alone. She's insane and insane people shouldn't have kids (especially 14 of them). Hell, there are perfectly normal people out there who shouldn't have kids.

What disappoints me is that Chip has barely touched on the economic crisis but goes full force with an Octo-Mom joke. What's this world coming to?

Blown Out of Proportion

Why are people still talking about this cartoon? Al Sharpton (who's really getting good at reminding us all about how horrible the past was to blacks even when no one else really cares about it) is the one who turned this into a racist cartoon. The cartoon depicts a satirical look at the monkey that had to be shot in Connecticut and one of the officers says that now someone else will have to write the stimulus bill. When I first saw this cartoon, I immediately thought "Ha, ha! Our Congresspeople are ignorant, feces-throwing monkeys."

Apparently the Reverend Sharpton looked at that cartoon and immediately thought the monkey was drawn to be President Barack Obama (a reference to the way African-Americans were compared to monkeys). Now the news has been talking about that damn cartoon for three days or more and I'm getting tired of it. News Corp., who published the cartoon in the New York Post issued a pseudo-apology which is a lot more than I would've offered. I didn't see the monkey as President Obama, I saw it as a bunch of howling, screaming feces-throwing monkey in our Capitol.

Would the cartoon have been taken differently if the police officer had said something different or if the monkey was wearing a sash reading "Congress". I think people are looking too much into it because the police officer said "someone else" meaning only one person. Writing a law or a bill, especially one of this size, is a collaborative effort. President Obama didn't do it all, he only made suggestions and our House and Senate expanded on it to include things both sides wanted (like free ice cream for six months). I think Sharpton and any one else who always jumps on these types of things need to start picking their battles. I'm getting tired of trying to be made guilty about what happened before I was born and that my family had no part of and I'm sure there are others out there who agree with me.

And the worst part of it is that no one seems to care that a monkey had to die for all this to happen. Rest in Peace, Travis. What a way to make the news....

Sunday, Monday Happy Days

I sometimes wondered why people went to Fonzi for advice at all. Fonzi wasn't all that smart but he had a lot of common sense. I can see why Potsie and Ralph Malph went to him but I always figured Richie was too smart for that.

I originally thought that this comic was talking about Potsie (Anson Williams) but then I figured Chip went the Stephen Colbert route and was talking about Fonzie since it rhymes.

This Blog Insured Up to $10,000 By the FDIC

So we get an "I promise" instead of an "I do?" Is that some sort of Canadian tradition? Damn it, Johnston, I'm tired of your Canadaisms. Plus, where's the signature wordplay?

Okay, I'm starting to become a fan of B.C.. Does that make me a terrorist?

Another gold star goes to Marmaduke for putting a flat screen TV in today's strip. However, despite that, the panel is still not funny.

How much sexual innuendo can you find in this comic strip? I count 7.

This is one of my biggest fears. Yes, I realize I should have greater fears but if you really knew me, you'd understand.

Is this an attempt to a topical "failing bank" joke? This strip just seems like a waste of space. At least the paper falling is a bit more artwork than Chip normally does.

E Is For Economy

Are there restaurants where you can order alphabet soup? That seems rather odd. Should've stuck with chicken and stars.