That Was No Blood Bank

August 13, 1965

Does she know him? Is she just walking through the department store telling people to not buy stuff? Is she saying no to that suit? Why does she care what he buys?

We're only three months into The Born Loser and Art is already looking for suggestions?

Is she his wife?

It has been years since I've donated blood. I used to do it all the time when my place of work offered that type of service. I had to look up why a blood bank would be calling you. It's to remind you of appointments, events, and sometimes just to get you to come in and donate more.

Sadly, that's not why they are calling Brutus. Hopefully, Brutus gets a lot out of the time he has left.

It's Five O'Clock Somewhere

August 12, 1965

I was going to find a comic of a man that had picked to the bones by the birds he was feeding but I couldn't find one. I could've sworn Gahan Wilson illustrated something like that. Instead, I found these two Far Side cartoons.

Brutus gets a spring break? I guess it's just a vacation that happens to be around spring break. I don't know why Brutus told Veeblefester that he was leaving. Just go. Get out of there!

My Signature Looks Like Crap On Those Dumb Screens

August 10, 1965

How long has Mr. Brutus P. Thornapple had his dentures? I guess I shouldn't judge, I had a friend who got dentures at, like, 25 or something. I don't think he's lost them in the Gulf of Mexico or the Ohio River though. You should be able to keep those in your mouth. But, again, I shouldn't judge.

Is this our first mention of Brutus P. Thornapple?

The main reason I give kids about having to learn cursive is for a signature and so they can read older documents. Plus, you never know who writes in cursive so it's just a good skill to know. I don't know how much time, if any, is spent on teaching cursive because I don't work in an elementary school, and cursive isn't on state testing and teachers aren't going to go over stuff that isn't on that test.

And Wilberforce doesn't care about paying for things. He's just going to scan his fingerprint and the money will be deducted from his government income account because robots do everything in the future so no one has to work.

Missed Connection

Enjoy three translated-from-German stories about Walt Disney's Goofy. First, Goofy gets a job as a sideshow freak. Then, he performs at a policeman's ball. Finally, a hypnotized Goofy has to save Mickey from some pirates. Gawrsh!

August 9, 1965

"YOU'RE SCRATCHING MY WARDROBE!"

Smart of this guy to just hitch this wardrobe/armoir/whatever onto his back and just carry. You don't want to leave it out on the sidewalk. It might get taken by pushy homosexual Puerto Ricans(?).

Is there a reason Mother Gargle lives in Erie? Is it because she's Mother Gargle?

"Bad timing..." Gladys, you know Brutus and your mother hate each other. Did you think today might be the day they let bygones be bygones and become loving in-laws? What pipe have you been smoking from?

Read Said Fred

August 7, 1965

"We're gonna make you a star!" What is he the BEFORE of? Are they going to whip him?

No, you shouldn't.

I do like reading on my e-reader. As much as I enjoy a physical book, e-readers are much more convenient and I can carry them around everywhere. Plus, no one will have to know I'm reading Nabokov's Ada: A Family Chronicle for the 77th time.

Pantsed

August 6, 1965

At least he's getting rescued. Right?

I can't tell where her boobs, stomach, and hips begin and end, but that's not the fault of the pants.

Third Time's the Charm

August 13, 1989

So Acme makes tea cozies as well? Or does Veeblefester just sell the cozies? Is Veeblefester just a tea cozy middleman--a Dunder Mifflin Tea Cozy Company, if you will?

This sounds like something that could be handled over the phone, Brutus. Or fax.

I saw today's strip and immediately thought it was a rerun. Then I saw the copyright of 2024 and was like, no, I've seen this before. And I have.

I don't understand why a company would spend hundreds of dollars for a plane trip that lasts two hours maximum when you could just use the company car and drive the damn two hours. I feel driving would be cheaper. And doesn't Veeblefester want to be cheaper?

If you would like to support me or this website, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi.

Saturday Quickies

August 5, 1965

Some sort of hippy-dippy outdoor poetry reading? Your guess is as good as mine.

I bet that plant wishes it could move so it doesn't have to hear any of this.

Maybe They Took Kewpie

August 3, 1965

We. Are. Going. To. Be. SO FREAKING RICH!!! A new species! And it seems friendly!! We are going to tour the country! The world! Get out from behind that desk, Dad, you and Clara will never have to work again!!

What? Someone broke into your house and stole the dozen or so sensors they placed around the doors and windows? If the system was armed then maybe you can get your money back. That's a terrible security system and you should be glad you learned that before anything more expensive and important was stolen.

No.

August 2, 1965

Hey, I think I saw this guy in a Looney Tunes cartoon. I don't think I've ever been to the dentist or heard someone go to the dentist and there not be at least little pain. Poking, scraping, and tapping your teeth hurts so get over it buddy-boy.

Ah, the extremes of the human body.

Nope, not today. Absolutely not.

February 29, 2008

Bringing back this awful shirt. Wilberforce doesn't know what a damn leap day is but has a basic understanding of the Chinese calendar?