I Love These Commercials

Yes, I'm against smoking but I feel that if you must do it, then go ahead. Just not around me, my son or within the general vicinity of either me or my son. But I found this video slightly disturbing as I was perusing The Sunny Side of Truth.

And what's even weirder was how this commercial reminded me of the Family Guy song "Prom Night Dumpster Baby."

The Noose Tightens

I've only ever had one dream--it was an elaborate dream but it was a dream. I wanted to be a known author--not rich or famous but known. I also wanted to be married to a wonderful woman who would love me forever. Also, three kids--two girls, one boy--and two cats. Maybe a dog if we lived on a farm.

Looking at Brutus just depresses me in ways I can't even explain. To perk up our spirits, here's Secret Asian Man.

Look At Brutus' Arm....

In all the years I have been reading this, the Thornapple house has been very clean. What does Brutus have to do? Manly cleaning stuff or is it something stupid like dusting? It's just going to get dusty again. Plus, Brutus works hard all week at Veeblefester's and just wants to curl up on the couch with a bottle of Captain Morgan in the evenings and weekends and major holidays.

Tales of Undisputed Interest

I'm An Ass
I once tried to convince a friend that her live-in boyfriend was writing checks to a brothel. She was going through their checkbook and found a couple entries listed as "Kermit's House". I immediately told her it was a brothel in nearby Tonganoxie. I had a crush on her and wanted her to dump the guy. I almost had her convinced but then she did the smart thing and asked her boyfriend. His explanation was it was a way for them to keep money in the account: listing a fake withdrawl therefore you think the money is not there. I still tried but ultimately failed. Ah well, c'est la vie.

Workplace Comedy
Have you ever seen the sitcom NewsRadio? Andy Dick plays the character Matthew Brock, a clumsy, naive spaz who wrecks havoc on the office every week. There's a guy I work with who reminds me of Andy Dick. To me, he is a spaz--although not as clumsy. He makes weird gestures and talks all the time and, like Andy Dick, is probably on drugs. He also wears weird clothes that normally would make you quirky but instead makes him look like a dork. I hate spazes (sp?).

Gonna Sue Me Too?
I think J.K. Rowling is a bitch. How many people has she sued for using unauthorized versions of her characters? Maybe I'm just not looking deep into this because I don't know how it feels but it seems as if Rowling, Scholastic and Warner Bros have spent as much time suing people as they have writing books, publishing books and making movies. I see the point of wanting to protect your creation--which are essentially your children but I feel that if the Republic of China want to publish a horrible version of Harry Potter called Harry Potter and Leopard-Walk-Up-To-Dragon, then let them. 98% of the world know it's not authorized.

Administrative Assistant's Week Is Over--Get To Work!!

You know, I actually expected a joke like this to make the panels of TBL. Sadly, Grand Avenue beat them to it. I did chuckle at this comic so that says a lot about my sense my humor. Or as I call it: my Humor Tumor.


And, once again, Veeblefester chooses beauty over brains. 30 words per minute is pretty bad especially compared to my 65 words. Oh, wait, he's talking about talking. Thirty words a minutes speaking doesn't really sound like much. I'd do some research on it but this is a comic strip blog and it's not worth my time.

TBL: Teaching Us History

I actually do like it when Born Loser tries to teach us history, especially when it's own characters don't even know it. Apparently a blunderbuss is a gun. And I learned something today.

A New Strip In Town

There's apparently a new comic strip in town, The Knight Life. The strip dares to go where no other comic has gone before. Making fun of Michael Jackson. How daring. I'll take the occasional look at it periodically but I don't expect much out of it.


Does Brutus live in the tropics? It's gotta stop raining sometime. I live in Kansas where the weather changes every ten minutes so Brutus can't complain. And did you notice that it's only raining in front of and in back of Brutus? No rain on the side.

Who Is Rita? Wife? Daughter?

Wow! That is a really unattractive guy. I mean, really unattractive. Brutus looks good compared to this guy.

It took me awhile to understand today's joke. "What are you getting for her?" "Make me an offer." Now it makes sense but a comic strip shouldn't make you think so hard in the morning. (But it's 1 o'clock in the afternoon...) And if Rita looks anything like this guy, any amount is too much.

Born Loser Casting Call

What if they made a Born Loser movie? Don't say they won't. Look at the other crap Hollywood has been producing lately. If Hollywood decided to option TBL as a movie, I hope they would use a lot of dark humor. And these actors. Danny DeVito would direct.

Bruce Willis may be an odd choice for the role of Brutus Thornapple but with Willis' recent hairstyle, he looks a lot more like Brutus plus it would lend a pretty decent name to the movie making the movie a lot more universal.

Kathy Bates is a good pick for Gladys Thornapple even though she's not as tall as Gladys is in the strip. She has the look and the appeal to look almost like Gladys so this is probably the best pick of the entire cast.

Jimmy "Jax" Pinchak is a name you might not know. He played Jody in the WB version of Family Affair with Gary Cole and Tim Curry. His cute looks and blond hair is a perfect fit for Wilberforce. Plus he's the same age as the next star...

Abigail Breslin who'll portray Hurricane Hattie. She has the look and the hair of Hattie and she can do dark humor perfectly so yet another good casting choice. I'm good at this.

John Larroquette I have casted as Rancid Veeblefester. I'm going for Larroquette's sardonic way of speaking, his humor and his gorgeous silver mane of evil to bring a new age of Dickensian caricature to Ol' Veeblefester.

Rhea Perlman as Lividea Veeblefester? Yes. I feel the contrast is great between her and Larroquette and I feel that a smart, attractive, well-to-do man, six-foot-four man being bossed around by dimunitive Perlman is hilarious.

And finally, Beatrice Arthur as Ramona Gargle, Gladys' mother. Arthur has proven herself time and time again as a wonderful actress and a good sport. And I can totally see her reeming Bruce Willis.

Think you can do better? Let me know. Obviously I only did this because I was bored. Lousy Internet.

End This Comic--Posthaste

As it's been proven, every child in The Born Loser is dumber than a sack of rocks. When they say something, it's not cute like you would expect kids to say, it's stupid. It makes you want to hit them. A lot.