Brutus Should've Just Ordered for Her

Growing up, I had this comic book featuring stories about alien encounters. It was very beat up and I would read it and skim through it all the time. I don't actually remember any of the stories in it and they were from comics in the late 1960s and early 1970s. The collection came out in 1978 and published by Golden Press. What I do remember is that the book scared me for some reason. Maybe it was the cover, or maybe one of the stories inside did it but since I can't remember any of the stories I don't know why I was scared of it. To be fair, the cover is pretty ominious and there's the blurb that these are true stories. Clearly, some day I will be confronted by some skeleton-like alien.

Maybe if I give it my wife and baby, it'll
let me go.

I was never a huge fan of UFOs and aliens which is probably why I didn't really get into The X-Files but I did go see Fire In the Sky in theaters with my mom and I remember enjoying that. I'm just not one to think that if UFOs and aliens came here, they would have the need to abduct and run invasive tests on us. They're able to travel millions of light years without problems but they can't observe and research us from afar? They have to take us aboard a ship and shove something up our butts?

I've only had one encounter with what I would consider a UFO or UAP or whatever you want to call it. I was laying in bed, years ago, probably 2002, 2003. I wasn't feeling good and was slipping in and out of sleep while trying to watch TV. I then heard something rumble above in the sky. I rolled over to look out the window and saw a massive object overhead. It didn't look like a plane and was very low to the ground. I watched it continue moving across the sky before it disappeared over the tree line. I asked people about it but no one heard or saw anything. Nothing showed up in the paper. And I've never see any UFO sighting list mention it (the only close one is a 2004 sighting in Chicago). Was it a UFO? Was it something else? Was it just some sickness-induced delirium? I will probably never know.

I like reading about UFO encounters but I am not convinced that aliens are coming here and observing us. Mainly because I don't think they would be more advanced technologically than we are nor do I think we are important enough to warrant an advanced species to intervene in our lives. But, maybe I'm wrong. I've been wrong before. I do not want to be proven wrong if it's some sort of Independence Day-like scenario.

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Ziggy

Aliens may also not visit us because stuff like this happens.

Thank you to Ziggy for being on point today.

Big Nate

Wait until Nate has subs barely older than him. An 18-year-old with absolutely no experience in teaching or child care? These kids will literally eat that sub alive. The picked-clean bones outside the classroom window will serve as a warning to the other would-be substitutes.

Wizard of Id

Cool to see Wizard of Id hopping on the Thanos/Marvel/Infinity War/Endgame bandwagon...nearly three years later. Better late than never, I guess.

Marmaduke

Who's talking in the top panel? One of the kids? Marmaduke?

Dennis the Menace

Donating practically worthless things to the church is pretty menacing, Martha. No one will purchase it and they'll have to use precious time to throw it away. Brilliant! That's showing Dennis how it's done.

The Born Loser

Just order the beef wellington, Gladys. Or the spaghetti. I can't really tell which one you want more. And is it me or does this strip not work as well without the throw-away panel at the top?

If you would like to support my writing or research, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi.

Four Minutes? That's Ten Minutes In Sports Time

Pickles

I try to make sure there is ample toilet paper in the bathroom. And I try to make sure any replacement rolls are right there, easily accessible. Clearly, this is all Opal's fault.

Blondie

Did Dagwood figure this out just so he could nap and dream about food?

Wizard of Id

Is there a joke? I feel like a word balloon got erased or something.

Luckily he doesn't say enough to replace r's with l's and vice versa

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Judge Parker

As a former boy who was hormonally charged, I can assure that Derek will find a way to touch Sophie parent's van be damned.

Crankshaft

"How is it weird? It's not like I'm going to pleasure myself up there. I just want to see the place where I used to pleasure myself. Totally normal."

Beetle Bailey

Wait. Isn't Miss Buxley dating Beetle?

Wait. Isn't anyone concerned that Miss Buxley is essentially a prostitute in this strip?

Family Circus

Jeffy's right to be afraid. There's murder in Dolly's eyes and no one will be able to hear his screams over the thunder.

Arlo & Janis

Are...Are Arlo and Janis talking about sex tapes that they made?

*stares at emphasized word 'our'*

Yep, they are.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith

Knowing that no matter who the public elects in November, the citizens of Hootin' Holler have already decided to convince anyone and everyone that their neighbors have better stuff so that the rampant criminals don't steal everything they've worked "hard" for.

Wizard of Id Classics

This is a comic strip from 1966 featuring a Chinese character named Dhing Dhong with buck teeth, a queue, and conical hat being reprinted in 2016.

Let that sink in.

A Born Loser Valentine

I hate stupid memorials like the one in today's Wizard of Id. Ironically this is the kind of crap that Johnny Hart would put in his strip were he still alive. Oh, legacy-artist Brent Parker, you don't "wow" me with your ability to continue a fledgling past-its-time comic strip. Create something new and get it on the comics page then maybe I will care for your little jokes.

In today's Born Loser, Brutus is slowly being asphyxiated while his wife makes a joke. Is it me or does Brutus' arms look a little lopsided? And is it also me or is the hat on top of the box precious? Kudos, Brutus. Kudos!