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| June 6, 1967 |
The idyllic calm of the suburbs were rocked today when the front drivers-side tire to a local...milk truck(?) inexplicably exploded today? Based on the information we have, the truck was just sitting there when the tire exploded. It caused local man Brutus Thornapple to have a little fright and spill his can of paint. The milkman was unharmed and unfazed by the incident.
"Why's he always complain' about work when all he does is watch rats run around? I thought he did something with tea cozies, whatever the hell those are."
