Saturday Quickies

April 25, 1967

That's what you get for loving him, a face full of gum. This wouldn't happen to anyone to kisses me. I can't chew gum anymore. It hurts my jaw as soon as it goes in!

Ha ha ha! Uncle Ted is going to die because he can't afford prescriptions. Ha ha! It's funny! What a great country we have here.

I'm Surprised Veeblefester Went to an All-You-Can-Eat Buffet Once

April 24, 1967

A lot of people get stranded on desert islands in this comic strip. I've mentioned before that "stranded on desert island" is one of those things movies and television made me and two, three whole generations believe would be a common occurrence. Turns out you can't get stranded on an island if you never go out in the ocean.

I would never go to an all-you-can-eat buffet at a diner. Unless that diner had biscuits and gravy on the buffet. I'd go through Hell itself for some biscuits and gravy.

Beany Boy

April 22, 1967

Brutus keeps his change in his wallet? Just keep some coins in your pocket. But let this be a lesson to the ice cream man, take the money first.

Did ice cream melt faster back then? There's a lot of melt between panels one and two. And only, like, five seconds have passed.

"You have to bring in your own beans."

Brutus seems way too excited about three-bean soup in the second panel. Calm down, Brutus. It's three-bean soup. Three. Bean. Soup.

I'm Glad to See Brutus' Tour Includes the Watercooler

April 21, 1967

What is Brutus watering? Maybe he's hosing something off like the side of the garage or something. He's just pointing that hose straight ahead. What needs watering is on the ground, guy.

Like that'll stop me. I'll just turn the water back on and spray mother-in-law when your back in turned. *mutters*Waterboard the old bag...

I'm tagging this Mother Gargle even though she's still in her first form here. I'm sure the old witch will show up soon. 🧙‍♀️

"Welcome to work. I hope you know how..."

Brutus, you don't have to make snide jokes and puns about the job. Let it crush this new guy's spirit on its own. It knows what it's doing.

What Did He Expect?

April 20, 1967

I like Sally. I sometimes wish I had a troublesome neighbor girl who bothered me. Kind of like Dennis the Menace, but more in the vein of today's Hurricane Hattie. Maybe Elmo from Blondie. I don't want them to vandalize my property, I just want them say and do funny things around me and consider me a safe person to talk to.

Did someone else write 'disappoint'? Or at least the 'oint' part?

I am officially going to be working at a historic site in my city for the foreseeable future. So I guess my day wasn't disappointing. Hopefully I will be greeting guests at our 1870 mansion for years to come.

Brutus Is Definitely In Better Shape Than the President

April 19, 1967

Normally I wouldn't connect a strip like this to what's going on in the world right now, but people like this with giant signs have been telling us the world is going to end for generations. When is it going to happen? I feel we've run our course. We had a good run and it didn't work out. Earth will be fine without us.

I mean, if not all of us then just Trump. Again, all of humanity or just Trump. Either or.

I don't think Brutus is doing that right...

I don't care if Brutus diets or not. It's his life.

Snow Blow

December 12, 1987

I'm sure Mrs. Preen enjoys having these men stand around her as she answers the doctors' medical questions. Can she get a little privacy?

And Brutus, you're not pregnant. You're just getting old.

Man, Kewpie's a picky pup. If my dogs don't want to go out that's fine, but sooner or later they will and it doesn't matter if it's raining, snowing, or whatever, they'll go outside.

I don't think we needed three panels explaining why Brutus is snowblowing the grass, but here we are.

Tell Pop to Drop Dead

April 18, 1967

"Hello, Mommy, Hello, Daddy"? Are we sure Wilberforce isn't an alien? It would explain so much about why Wilberforce looks the way he looks.

What kind of name is Dik-Kayydd. Is it pronounced like "decayed"? What kind of alien name is that?

Why is Brutus sending Wilberforce to tell his wife to get to cooking? Is it because Gladys will gladly hit her husband but he knows she won't hit her child? Fight your own battles, Brutus. Leave Wilberforce out of it.

The Show Will Last 6 Seasons

April 17, 1967

Did Brutus catch that fish or is this just some random fish he wants on the wall? If it's just some random fish then get rid of it. Unless the theme of your house or a specific room is "fish" then a fish on the wall just looks tacky.

Last week!!? Are networks rerunning episodes the following week now? Or is this a special re-airing of a pilot episode? Either way, it's not a good sign that the show is predictable yet unmemorable.

Your Finest Glass, Please

April 15, 1967

I feel this is all on Brutus. All you had to do was tap it in and you failed miserably. I think any idiot could've sunk that ball, no matter how loud the sneeze is.

So Veeblefester admits that Brutus completes him. You can't have yin without yang and the two together create harmony and are essential for mutual survival. It's nice to know how much Veeblefester really cares about Brutus and loves him.

I mean, I'm no sommelier, but isn't every wine just red or white with different varieties under each one? If Brutus says "red" then the waiter can be like "Cabernet sauvignon, Malbec, or Zinfadel?" It's not like Brutus can afford a lot of wine anyway.