Thursday Quickies

May 25, 1967

It took me a minute to realize what's happening here. But I don't care about that. That lady has an enormous body. She's at least 5'11" and I'd let her throw me over a cliff.

I don't believe for a second that Vic Appleton's father is a millionaire because if he was, then why is Vic in a public school?

Tick Tock and You Don't Stop

May 24, 1967

Why is the food in the line of the baseball field? Why is Veeblefester (R.W. Veeblefester, Pres.) sitting so close to the table with the punch on it? I like how Veeblefester is a money grubber, as seen in the many dollar signs he's thinking about, but 1960s corporate etiquette demands he still hosts an annual picnic. Thankfully, President Reagan will help get rid of that little annoyance.

Is...Is Gladys the clock?

Is that clock in the middle of the room?

Did we really need a visual interpretation of "tick tock"?

There wasn't a better gold color than "burning pee yellow"?

Tuna Tuesday

May 23, 1967

Yes, every man--every human--must face up to responsibility at some point in their life. Unless you are politician. Unless you are a CEO. Unless you are a celebrity. Unless you are unbelievably wealthy. Unless you are six degrees separated from the right people. Unless...

What's Brutus doing? Is he doing a "everything the light touches is our kingdom" thing?

I like tuna. I should eat more tuna. Not eight cans worth of tuna, but at least tuna keeps.

We're a beret family now.

Cover Your Mouth

May 22, 1967

Ah, so it is a Marilyn Munster situation. Kind of a dick move to squirt your niece with water, but I guess she seems on board. I always found fake flowers that squirt water kind of weird. Even if they say "Hey, you should smell my flower!" I am not smelling your flower. I try to go through life closely smelling as few people as possible.

I was really hoping Teeny was a lost daughter who got Chuck Cunningham'd.

Hey, everyone! It's allergy season! Unless you are like me or my wife then every day, all year is allergy season!

What's with the hat? Is this a new thing? I don't know if I like it.

Just a Regular Sunday

March 6, 1988

So Wastrel not only has an account at this bank, even if it only has a couple bucks in it, but he also has a checkbook? Wastrel also is confident enough to storm the bank, walk right past the guard and just go into the president's office.

Did Wastrel go to Yale or did he fish that shirt out of a trash can? And if he did go to Yale, why does Art hate Yale?

Grumpy. If Veeblefester were one of the seven dwarves, he'd be Grumpy. You can't just create new dwarves when the seven dwarves already exist. There's no reason that dwarves are like Smurfs and there's dozens or hundreds of them each with a different personality. There's seven, end of story.

Not only is Brutus working on Sunday, he's working on Easter Sunday. I hope he's getting double overtime. I don't care if he is salaried, give him overtime.

The April 1952 comics of Chris Welkin, Planeteer will be posting later this week. You can get caught up here. If you would like to support me or this website, you can go through the About page.

It's Already 6 - 0?!!

May 20, 1967

The size of the hat explains maybe three of the cards lying there, but not the others or the one currently in the air and completely off-target.

I'm sure there are better uses for those cards. Play some solitaire...

I could've sworn Wilberforce played the outfield. I guess Wilberforce can play both, but Wilberforce being pitcher seems...wrong, somehow.

We still have eight more innings of this humiliation.

Coordinating Shirt and House

May 19, 1967

On the plus side, it looks like Wilberforce is gonna get knocked off the car and get a concussion from the "drive-in" sign. Unfortunately, the paramedics and having to explain why you didn't know a child was on top of your car might ruin the movie-going experience.

The sign reads "Politicians kiss babies, baby, so why can't I kiss you?".

Crocuses are low-lying flowers so I don't know if you'd be able to see them "sticking up through the snowdrift". I agree with Gladys' reaction in the last panel. I walked over here for this?!

(Not) Going Green

Courtroom sketch by Dana Verkouteren

President Trump showed up at the Supreme Court to intimidate the justices see how his Solicitor General is handling his birthright citizenship argument. Trump doesn't believe there should be birthright citizenship in the United States because he's a racist piece of shit and those people don't vote for him he thinks it only applies to children of slaves. I don't know, but the 14th Amendment is pretty clear and has been settled law since 1898. I don't think birthright citizenship will be discarded, because think of the can of worms that would open up. What I do think will happen, as has happened in nearly every other case Trump has lost, is Trump will be given a blueprint on how to eliminate birthright citizenship legally and constitutionally. Essentially he'll be told to go through Congress. The 14th Amendment can be easily (re: not easily) removed through an amendment. I mean, Trump will never get 2/3rds of Congress to approve and 34(?) states to ratify it by November or even 2028, but he can try.

It's hilarious to me that Trump controls each branch of the government and he can't advance his agenda. It shows just how unpopular his agenda is with just the people he has to work with. Since he can't push his agenda through the way he's supposed to, he's forced to go through unconstitutional, vague, and/or impotent executive orders which end up getting struck down by the courts, who usually tell Trump how to do this legally and constitutionally, which then just starts the cycle over again because Trump can't actually pass anything through Congress because he's not popular and is a lame duck president. It's hilarious, sad, and upsetting--especially during the time people are actually enforcing the executive orders or using various federal departments to hurt their own citizens.

May 18, 1967

Is this what this week in May 1967 is going to be? I'm not a fan. I love we have to clarify who did this. Brutus hasn't even been the main character for a year yet so of course we don't know who anyone is. I mean, this girl just popped up a week ago!

If Veeblefester isn't environmentally friendly by now then he's never going to be. I guess it's good that Arnie is optimistic.

Decaf Riff-Raff 5: The Never-Ending Story

May 17, 1967

One of my favorite things when dating someone is seeing old pictures of them and seeing embarrassing pictures of them. I mean, we're going to be swapping fluids and being inside each other, I should be able to see candid photos of you in the bathroom and weird-ass photos holding onto a 2-liter of Pepsi for dear life.

Jesus Christ. We had a three-part decaf coffee storyline back in September and we don't need another one. This isn't even an original decaf coffee strip. Brutus talked about drinking an inordinate amount of coffee to make up for the lack of caffeine back in 2023.

Why Is Wilberforce's Foot So Big?

May 16, 1967

Okay, I get that Wilberforce tied Teeny's sheets(?) together, but why? I feel like if a shitty younger brother were to tie things together, they'd tie together dresses, underwear, and bras. Anyway, when Teeny catches Wilberforce, she should wrap those sheets around his neck and throw him out the window.

Forever glad I'm an only child.

Shouldn't that be something the teacher teaches you? I mean, any idiot can say "Class, for your homework tonight, learn about everything. My work here is done!" If my child came home from school with homework to "find out how many inches are in a foot" I'd be concerned. The homework, if there should be any at all, should be "how many inches are these common household things and convert that to feet".