Press 4 for Billing

January 16, 1967

Is she just going around claiming guys are making goo-goo eyes at her so her boyfriend will beat them up or was this just an innocent mistake? Either way, it's not ideal. I'll gladly take a punch for someone I do make goo-goo eyes to, but not just some random trollop who wants to get her jollies.

A 'gaffer' is a word for an old man and has been in use since 1589. Gammer is a word for an old woman, which is even older. So she's having her boyfriend beat up old people.

I looked up 'Roarak' and the first thing that popped up was an adventure-ready clothing store and I was like "Brutus is going on adventures and needs special clothes?!!" but that was 'Roark'. Roarak is just a name. Chip probably just thumbed through a phone book or one lives nearby. I'm more interested in this company having a person specifically for directing calls and not, you know, an automated call tree system.

Oh, Good. Now They're On the Same Page

August 30, 1987

Brutus clearly does not understand how stocks work, but he is at least wanting to sell when it is worth more. Is it going to keep going up? That'd be my question but I understand how the stock market works.

Now, Gladys, you were just saying yesterday that you won the lottery by marrying Brutus and here you are today at each other's throats. I don't like it when you guys fight. Not because of the trauma and anxiety created, but because I never know what's going on.

I took an in-depth look at one of my favorite gravestones yesterday. Elizabeth Uhl, daughter of Floyd and Ethel of the Grove neighborhood north of Silver Lake, Kansas. If you would like to support me or this website, you can do so at the top of the page.

As Long As It's Not Shirley Jackson's 'The Lottery'

January 14, 1967

It appears that Brutus is reading an original children's story created by Art Sansom. I did a quick search the only thing that came up for "Hoppy and Torty" was Roald Dahl's Esio Trot and a retelling of the Tortoise and the Hare from 2024 that looks suspiciously like AI. Anyway, I appreciate creating your own thing especially for what's a throwaway joke.

I now also know too much about hobgoblins.

Finally, some Mother Gargle. We've been threatened with her presence this Thanksgiving for nearly three weeks. And yes, just like those cheap scratch-off ones because obviously I'm not living in the lap of luxury, but won about $10 that I will use to just buy more scratch-off tickets where I win another $10 that I will use to just buy more scratch-off tickets where I win another $10...

Our Daughter

Floyd Rockwell Uhl was born August 24, 1887 in Killbuck, Ohio to Bigham and Hannah Uhl. They made their way to the Rossville-Silver Lake area of Shawnee County, Kansas. They settled in the Grove neighborhood where Bigham constructed and ran a grain elevator.

Their oldest child, Floyd, married Ethel Maude Marsh on November 14, 1910 in Mercer County, Missouri. Ethel was born September 5, 1882 in Fort Scott, Kansas. Her father was Judge John R. Marsh, a Jackson County judge. Judge Marsh would pass away in 1903 after being kicked by a horse. Ethel's mother, Elizabeth Marsh, would pass away in 1912 after a dress she was wearing caught on fire as she was burning trash.

Floyd and Ethel had three daughters. Thelma Nell was born December 15, 1913. She died in 1963 in Cerritos, California. Their third daughter, Eula Belle, was born in 1925. Their middle daughter, Elizabeth, was born January 17, 1917 but died of convulsions on May 2, 1919. She was buried in Silver Lake Cemetery.

A weather-worn gravestone with a little lamb on top marks Elizabeth's burial. Buried next to Elizabeth is her father, Floyd. Floyd died in 1966. Ethel would pass away in 1962 in El Sereno, California and is buried with Thelma in Cerritos.

The Leftovers

How many people have died because Trump is solipsistic, callow, and ruinous?

January 13, 1967

How many sheets to the wind is Agnes, because there's no way a danceable beat is coming from that bass.

It's just me and my wife for Thanksgiving usually so we don't really make anything because we don't want a lot of leftovers. Anyway, while I absolutely miss having a big Thanksgiving meal with family, I do not miss the leftovers that I stop wanting usually a day or two later.

Dog Rules

November 26, 2025

I like how it looks like Jimmy is marching down the street giving everyone the finger. "Fuck you, Westfinster! Respect your God, Jimmy!"

January 12, 1967

The cop pulled him over from the front?

A boulevard stop is apparently when you yield to the traffic on a priority street, like from a smaller street or private drive. I've never heard it called that, but I wasn't born during the Great Depression.

Dog show. I will choose dog show 100% of the time. I hope Kewpie is ready and willing to fight for this dog show, because I am.

Thanksgiving Homework

January 11, 1967

"This side up" "Team lift" "Fragile" No box is going to tell me what to do!

The last few years, my school district has been giving us the entire week of Thanksgiving off. We used to go Monday and Tuesday and get Wednesday through Friday off. That Monday and Tuesday were basically pointless because the kids were ready to leave, some had already left, and you are ending a lesson but reluctant to start a new one. I can't imagine going to school Monday through Wednesday. Why don't they get Wednesday off? Are we really supposed to start our Thanksgiving travels after school lets out at 3:00?

Brutus Is Just That Desperate for Friends

January 10, 1967

Okay. I understand that having a root beer float spill on you isn't ideal, especially since Brutus probably has to go back to work, but no reaction in this strip seem to match the situation. Also, I think Brutus could've easily dodged the spill.

I think we are all in agreement with no employee wants to spend the holidays with their boss and no boss wants to spend the holidays with their employees.

Brutus Vs. Thanksgiving

January 9, 1967

Brutus can't hold his own ashtray or just keep one around? Jesus, some of the bullshit we've put women through makes me question why they continue to be around us and let us live. If I made my wife run over to me so she could catch my cigarette ashes in an ashtray, let's just say that divorcing me would be the nicest thing she would do to me.

I thought Mother Gargle was going to come over last weekend and stay through Thanksgiving? Now, you're going to see her? Or is she staying through Thanksgiving, going home, and then you are going to visit her? Look, I don't really care because we probably won't see much of Thanksgiving anyway, but get the plan straight.

I like the little centerpiece on the table. I've always been a fan of small pumpkins.

One Yard Line

The third month of Art and Chip Sansom's short-lived comic strip Dusty Chaps was published yesterday. The antics at the dude ranch, Dusty Chaps, continue with J.J. Jennings, Ernest McDuff, and about five other regular characters who are yet to be named, somehow. Except for Sally and...Chuck Wagon(?).

Anyway, if you like what you see and would like to support me or this website, you can click the Support link at the top of the page.

August 23, 1987

Thankfully those were the receipts that proved the Acme account was just a money laundering scheme for prostitutes and he's just sleepily talking about making copies. Wait! That's why Veeblefester keeps him around! Brutus is so inept he can "accidentally" get rid of harmful evidence that could bring down the company.

And you know that will be the play of the day on SportsCenter and tonight's news. You can't escape it, Brutus. Might as well just turn off the TV.

Although the score is tied. Is there enough time for the other team to score or will we be going into overtime (that Brutus' team will likely lose in)? Did the quarterback even lose the ball? Why do I even care? It's a fictional football game and I don't even care about real football games. Brutus should just expect his team to always lose.