Thursday Quickies

January 19, 1967

The first name mentioned is Chiang Kai-Shek? Then Yul Brynner? Ok.

Quit worrying about your bald head and work on yourself, Brutus.

Yeah, you're not getting any bonuses this year. Time to take some money to the track or something. Start posting tasteful nudes on social media and linking a Venmo.

Don't take not getting a bonus personally, Brutus. Very few employees get bonuses anymore.

Cattle Is Cattle, Brutus

January 18, 1967

Are necktie--or, I guess, clothing--salesmen always this violent? He's going to try to sell Brutus a second tie and end up strangling him with it. Also, if each tie is $5 then two for $9.98 is not a great deal. Brutus doesn't need a second tie, he barely survived the first...

What's with this sign? "Stamp out sensible shoes"? What?

Buffalo meat is good. I don't know what Brutus' problem is.

I think we're well passed the point of people thinking buffalo wings are actually buffalo. Time to find a new joke about buffalo wings. How about commenting that boneless wings are just chunkier chicken nuggets? Or how...Does this buffalo burger come with a side? Or cheese? Or any condiments? Just a glass of water?

Holiday Spirit

January 17, 1967

My only reference for expensive dresses back then are episodes of I Love Lucy. When the Ricardos and Mertzes went to Hollywood, Lucy wants a Don Loper original. I'd never even heard of Don Loper but he sells his dresses for $500 and even I knew that seemed expensive for 1955. Hell, $500 is expensive for 2025.

That sign says "Frodo lives".

Brutus is hitting the seasonal drinks early and hard this year.

Christmas doldrums is still just a purely Charlie Brown thing. Others may try, but only Charlie Brown can do it just right.

Press 4 for Billing

January 16, 1967

Is she just going around claiming guys are making goo-goo eyes at her so her boyfriend will beat them up or was this just an innocent mistake? Either way, it's not ideal. I'll gladly take a punch for someone I do make goo-goo eyes to, but not just some random trollop who wants to get her jollies.

A 'gaffer' is a word for an old man and has been in use since 1589. Gammer is a word for an old woman, which is even older. So she's having her boyfriend beat up old people.

I looked up 'Roarak' and the first thing that popped up was an adventure-ready clothing store and I was like "Brutus is going on adventures and needs special clothes?!!" but that was 'Roark'. Roarak is just a name. Chip probably just thumbed through a phone book or one lives nearby. I'm more interested in this company having a person specifically for directing calls and not, you know, an automated call tree system.

Oh, Good. Now They're On the Same Page

August 30, 1987

Brutus clearly does not understand how stocks work, but he is at least wanting to sell when it is worth more. Is it going to keep going up? That'd be my question but I understand how the stock market works.

Now, Gladys, you were just saying yesterday that you won the lottery by marrying Brutus and here you are today at each other's throats. I don't like it when you guys fight. Not because of the trauma and anxiety created, but because I never know what's going on.

I took an in-depth look at one of my favorite gravestones yesterday. Elizabeth Uhl, daughter of Floyd and Ethel of the Grove neighborhood north of Silver Lake, Kansas. If you would like to support me or this website, you can do so at the top of the page.

As Long As It's Not Shirley Jackson's 'The Lottery'

January 14, 1967

It appears that Brutus is reading an original children's story created by Art Sansom. I did a quick search the only thing that came up for "Hoppy and Torty" was Roald Dahl's Esio Trot and a retelling of the Tortoise and the Hare from 2024 that looks suspiciously like AI. Anyway, I appreciate creating your own thing especially for what's a throwaway joke.

I now also know too much about hobgoblins.

Finally, some Mother Gargle. We've been threatened with her presence this Thanksgiving for nearly three weeks. And yes, just like those cheap scratch-off ones because obviously I'm not living in the lap of luxury, but won about $10 that I will use to just buy more scratch-off tickets where I win another $10 that I will use to just buy more scratch-off tickets where I win another $10...

Our Daughter

Floyd Rockwell Uhl was born August 24, 1887 in Killbuck, Ohio to Bigham and Hannah Uhl. They made their way to the Rossville-Silver Lake area of Shawnee County, Kansas. They settled in the Grove neighborhood where Bigham constructed and ran a grain elevator.

Their oldest child, Floyd, married Ethel Maude Marsh on November 14, 1910 in Mercer County, Missouri. Ethel was born September 5, 1882 in Fort Scott, Kansas. Her father was Judge John R. Marsh, a Jackson County judge. Judge Marsh would pass away in 1903 after being kicked by a horse. Ethel's mother, Elizabeth Marsh, would pass away in 1912 after a dress she was wearing caught on fire as she was burning trash.

Floyd and Ethel had three daughters. Thelma Nell was born December 15, 1913. She died in 1963 in Cerritos, California. Their third daughter, Eula Belle, was born in 1925. Their middle daughter, Elizabeth, was born January 17, 1917 but died of convulsions on May 2, 1919. She was buried in Silver Lake Cemetery.

A weather-worn gravestone with a little lamb on top marks Elizabeth's burial. Buried next to Elizabeth is her father, Floyd. Floyd died in 1966. Ethel would pass away in 1962 in El Sereno, California and is buried with Thelma in Cerritos.

The Leftovers

How many people have died because Trump is solipsistic, callow, and ruinous?

January 13, 1967

How many sheets to the wind is Agnes, because there's no way a danceable beat is coming from that bass.

It's just me and my wife for Thanksgiving usually so we don't really make anything because we don't want a lot of leftovers. Anyway, while I absolutely miss having a big Thanksgiving meal with family, I do not miss the leftovers that I stop wanting usually a day or two later.

Dog Rules

November 26, 2025

I like how it looks like Jimmy is marching down the street giving everyone the finger. "Fuck you, Westfinster! Respect your God, Jimmy!"

January 12, 1967

The cop pulled him over from the front?

A boulevard stop is apparently when you yield to the traffic on a priority street, like from a smaller street or private drive. I've never heard it called that, but I wasn't born during the Great Depression.

Dog show. I will choose dog show 100% of the time. I hope Kewpie is ready and willing to fight for this dog show, because I am.

Thanksgiving Homework

January 11, 1967

"This side up" "Team lift" "Fragile" No box is going to tell me what to do!

The last few years, my school district has been giving us the entire week of Thanksgiving off. We used to go Monday and Tuesday and get Wednesday through Friday off. That Monday and Tuesday were basically pointless because the kids were ready to leave, some had already left, and you are ending a lesson but reluctant to start a new one. I can't imagine going to school Monday through Wednesday. Why don't they get Wednesday off? Are we really supposed to start our Thanksgiving travels after school lets out at 3:00?