Old Is New Again

February 13, 1967

We all know that relations with Cuba deteriorated in 1959 and visiting Cuba has been complicated at best. I'm just assuming that Brutus and Gladys can't use this vacation which makes me wonder who is handing out (not to mention obtaining) all-expense paid vacations to Cuba.

We are going to be closing out the year with reruns apparently. But reruns I haven't commented about because I stopped posting in 2014 with December 23rd. I'm shocked we're going all the way back to 2014 when other reruns have been 2020 at the earliest.

We all know why Veeblefester is mad. He has to pay his employees for the days they weren't working. Two days off? And another two coming up? Let's not forget we just had another two days off in November.

Why Is He Telling Brutus?

October 4, 1987

Brutus gets involved with parrots a lot in this comic. I mean, so far it's only been three times but that's more than I ever interacted with a parrot--which is once and even then the parrot was just in the room with me. Who knew Brutus was such a sucker for birds? Unlike Ian in Mary Worth.

I don't care if Sunny is a "stupid, nuisance bird", I hope Sunny kills Ian or at least drives him to insanity.

How many employees does Veeblefester have? I guess it doesn't matter because any number over 10 makes the bonus worthless. Hopefully, there aren't more than 500 employees and the employees will literally get pennies.

Brutus and Veeblefester talked about the bonuses back on the 18th. So maybe Veeblefester did get visited by ghosts. I mean, clearly not the A-league, but it's a start.

For this Christmas season, Calvin gets new neighbors and his favorite teacher is hired to be his building's Santa Claus, but when a murder occurs at the Fillmore, all evidence points to Calvin, his neighbors, or his girlfriend. The Fifth Floor. If you would like to support me or this website, you can click the link at the top of the page.

Bide-A-Wee Gas, tires fixed also

February 11, 1967

Did Art and Isabel (his wife we never seem to mention) honeymoon in Pacific Grove, California? Brutus and Gladys at least did. Unless Bide-A-Wee Lodge was once a chain across the country. I'm sure their stay in the upstairs room at Bide-A-Wee Gas, Apex Doob proprietor, will be just fine with chewy cheese sandwiches, poorly functional beds, and being lulled to sleep by the constant train traffic on the tracks just behind the building.

Sigh...Ok...

I hope Brutus and Gladys need a tire fixed. Apex seems really proud of his tire-fixing ability.

The Fifth Floor

December 1st

The door to 505 opened and Calvin came out. From the direction of the elevator at one end of the hall, a woman and little girl carrying boxes, approached. The little girl was walking determinedly, moving side-to-side and jostling the box with each step.

“Excuse me,” Calvin said, politely, letting them pass him. They stopped at 506, which had been empty since June, and the woman began unlocking the door. “Need any help?” Calvin offered.

“No, thanks. We got this,” the woman smiled.

“We got this!” the girl repeated.

“If you’re sure,” Calvin said. “I’m Calvin. In 505. If you need anything, let me know.”

“Erin. Lillian,” the woman nodded her head at the girl. “Thanks.”

Calvin smiled at them and continued down the hall, the other direction, toward the stairway.

Erin sat her box down against a wall she knew wasn’t going to be used. Lillian carried her box into a bedroom and sat it down. She then opened it and began getting stuff out. “What are you doing?” Erin walked in.

“I’m going to put these here so they can go in my toy box when Uncle Rick gets here,” Lillian said.

“We have to get the rest of our boxes up here first before Uncle Rick will bring in furniture,” Erin said.

Lillian ran over to the wall with the window. “I’m gonna put my bed here,” she said, matter-of-factly. “And a chair by the window for reading by.”

Erin chuckled. “Okay, but we still need to bring up the rest of our boxes. You can map out your room later.”

The Fillmore was built in 1866 by Archibald Fillmore as a hotel. In the 1920s, when need for a hotel dwindled, it was converted into apartments. Calvin exited the Fillmore through the Gothic-style archway and waited on the sidewalk, looking to the north. After a minute or two, his eyes locked on something and he smiled big.

He met Lucy, hugging her. They gave each other a quick kiss. “How was work?”

“It was fine,” she began. “A customer knocked over a cup and spilled coffee on me,” she spread her arms and looked down at the stain on her black work shirt.

“I’m sorry. I thought I felt something wet when I hugged you.”

“It just happened about half an hour ago,” Lucy sighed.

“Tamales?”

“Yes.”

They began walking to the south toward a small hole-in-the-wall tamale place. Calvin and Lucy had known each other since she moved to town in the third grade. Calvin had always had a crush on Lucy, but she never reciprocated that feeling or even a friendship. After they graduated from high school, Lucy left for college to be an accountant and ended up becoming the chief financial officer for a small company and helped oversee it become a moderately sized company. She quit back in July and moved back to town. She and Calvin reconnected and had been dating since October.

She had her own apartment but spent about half her time at Calvin’s. Calvin had lived at the Fillmore for about three years, inheriting 505 from his mother who had passed away suddenly. When Calvin moved out after high school, his mom moved to the Fillmore. There, she began, Calvin didn’t like to call it hoarding, but that was the right word for it.

Books, animal figurines, paintings from people she didn’t know, it was an eclectic collection of crap that he had to dig through when she died. Garage sales, estate sales, auctions were all fair game to her. It took over a year for Calvin to whittle down all the stuff.

December 3rd

Alexander Thibodeaux lived in 511, down by the elevator. His gray hair and beard actually made him look younger than his 72 years. He had lived at the Fillmore since 1996 after his second divorce and a realization that his large estate in the country was no longer practical. His three kids were grown, his books were not selling like they used to, and him writing new books were few and farther between.

He always tried to write on Fridays during the mornings and afternoons but it hadn’t gone well today. He only got a chapter and it wasn’t a great chapter. “But it’s something,” he said to Calvin when he came over to get him for the board meeting at three.

The Fillmore had a board of five residents that made decisions collectively for the residents. Usually, it was their job to relay information and changes. The only met once a month and only rarely was there ever anything tenants could voice their concerns on. December’s meeting was one of those rare times.

“…Our next item is selecting the building Santa for this month. We’ve budgeted $15 an hour for three Fridays and three Saturdays for eight hours each—8 to 12 and 1 to 5—for a total of $720. We have chosen Meadowbrook Domestic Violence Center for the charity and have our choice of three Santas,” Penny Vanderpyl, 304, said.

“Who are they?” Lloyd Zylberberg, 207, spat out.

Penny looked at Lloyd and then down at the profile papers. “Well, it really doesn’t matter but there’s Hamish Spielman, Donald Warren, and Walter Faddis.”

Calvin perked up. “Walter Faddis?” he asked, mostly to himself. He raised his hand. “Ms. Vanderpyl? I don’t know if this will influence the board’s decision, but Mr. Faddis was my English teacher in high school. He was my favorite teacher and I think he’ll do a great job as Santa.”

“Sounds good to me. Since you know him then we’ll defer to your opinion. I’ll let the temp agency know.”

“It’ll be cool seeing Mr. Faddis again. I loved him as a teacher. He’s who got me into writing,” Calvin said.

“I’ve never seen you write,” Alex said.

“Well, I don’t anymore. I wasn’t all that good at it. I think you two will get along. You two have similar demeanors. He’s maybe even read some of your stuff.” Calvin was very excited about Mr. Faddis being Santa for the building. “I can’t wait to tell Lucy,” he said as he pulled out his phone.

 

“Since Lucy canceled on you for dinner, would you like to join me?” Alex asked Calvin as they arrived back on the fifth floor.

“I don’t know. What are you having?”

“I am making this winter’s first batch of beans.”

“Ah. I think I’ll pass. Thanks, though.”

“Not a problem. If you change your mind…” Alex trailed off as he continued to his apartment.

Calvin paused at his door and turned to look at 506. He knocked on the door and heard Lillian run across the floor and stop. He heard some commotion and then the door opened. “Hey. Calvin. 505?” he reminded.

She smiled, though awkwardly. “Yeah?”

“I don’t want to sound weird but my dinner plans fell through and I was wondering if you’d like to join me for dinner. There is a good Chinese place across the street.”

“Thanks, but I have…” Erin nodded down toward Lillian.

“Oh. Well, she can come.”

Erin smiled. “It’s not that. Lillian is kind of a picky eater.”

“This place makes good chicken nuggets, decent macaroni and cheese, and has the best canned pudding I’ve ever had.”

Erin smiled bigger. “Okay. Give us a couple minutes to get ready. Canned pudding?”

“Yeah. Giant seven-pound cans.”

At the restaurant, Calvin helped Lillian get her fingers around chopsticks. Erin smiled watching Calvin work with Lillian. She picked up a chicken nugget with the chopsticks, dipped it in sweet and sour sauce and dropped it in her mouth. After swallowing, she tried again. This time, the nugget fell to the floor. Both Lillian and Calvin reached for the nugget, bumping and shaking the table. A cup of water tipped over and spilled.

“Be careful, you two,” Erin sighed, keeping a chuckle to herself.

“Sorry, Mom,” Lillian said. She grabbed the chicken nugget.

“Yeah, sorry, mom,” Calvin said, sitting back up in his chair.

“Finish up,” Erin said. “We should probably get back home.”

“Oh. You have to go so soon?”

“It’s not because of you. I said I would stream tonight, and I think I should follow through,” Erin explained.

“Stream?”

“I do makeup streams. On SocialFly.”

“I’ve never met anyone who streamed for a living.”

“I don’t. I have a day job. School nurse at East Heights Elementary. Right now, streaming is just a hobby. I average about 150 viewers when I stream. Definitely not enough to make a living from.”

“Do you do, like, tutorials or…?”

“It’s more elaborate than that. Find me on SocialFly, xErinzilla, and check it out.”

Calvin didn’t have SocialFly, or any social media, so he had to create an account. There were about fifty videos, a dozen blog posts, over a thousand pictures, and over 10,000 posts on Erin’s SocialFly. She had four thousand followers but only followed 30 people. He clicked on the video from last week where she made up her face into a robot. Calvin found it impressive and very realistic but he wasn’t sure it was something he’d get into.

Erin went live and Calvin switched over to the live stream. She was in sweatpants and a baggy sweatshirt. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail and she was in her bathroom with a wide swath of makeup on the counter. He put in some earbuds and watched Erin as she slowly and meticulously began coating her face in red, tan, and black. About fifteen minutes in, Calvin realized she was doing a fox.

Calvin began reading as Erin streamed in the background. He then heard Lillian’s voice and looked up from his book.

“Has anyone given you money?” Lillian asked, eyeing Erin’s screen.

“Lillian, that’s not polite,” Erin scolded. “Just watch.”

“I bet you would get more money if your boobs were up here,” Lillian pushed up on Erin’s breasts but when she let go, they fell back down. “They should be up here.” Lillian pushed up on them again, giggling.

“Lillian, stop. Do you know why they aren’t up here? You!”

Viewers sent Erin laughing emojis and heart emojis. Calvin did the same thing. Erin began putting makeup on Lillian while also working on here. Calvin went back to his book.

December 4th

Calvin tried to spend at least an hour in the courtyard of the Fillmore every Saturday, reading. Today’s endeavor was cut short by Lillian running out, yelling “Calvin!”, almost growling, and jumping on him. He happily put his book down and matched the girl’s enthusiasm.

“Lillian…” Erin already seemed exhausted despite it not even being eleven in the morning. “Sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize,” Calvin laughed and lifted Lillian off of him. She immediately began holding his hands and walking up his legs to flip herself around. “What brings you to the courtyard?”

“Checking out the playground equipment,” Erin pointed to the corner by the building with practically brand-new equipment.

“It’s pretty nice. Got it installed about two years ago. The previous stuff was pretty rough. It had a roller slide. Lillian probably would’ve lost a finger,” Calvin began. “They wanted to put in a koi pond but I helped push to just replace the playground equipment.”

They started walking over, Calvin found himself carrying Lillian who then climbed onto his shoulders. “How long have you lived here?” Erin asked.

“About three years. I got the apartment after my mom died,” Calvin said. “I like living here. It’s quiet and the neighbors are decent. Even more so now,” he smiled at her.

Lillian had been playing for about ten minutes with Erin and Calvin watching her from a nearby bench. He made sure to leave a wide gap between them. They sat quietly for a while, just watching Lillian, when Erin spoke. “You like living here?” she caught herself. “I guess I already know the answer. Do you work or are you independently wealthy?”

“Why would I be independently wealthy?"

“I don’t know. It seems a lot of people here don’t work. The old people I understand but the younger residents must have money.”

“They might. I don’t really pay attention. I don’t have money. I’m a mortician at Eberling and Roberts.”

“You work with dead people?”

“I like to think they work with me. I went into funerary services when I realized I would never be a writer,” Calvin sighed.

“I do poetry sometimes,” Erin mused. “Not often but occasionally.”

Calvin reached into his pocket and pulled something out. “Hey, Lillian. Come here,” he called.

She bounded off the equipment and ran over to Calvin and Erin on the bench. “Yes?” she panted and asked matter-of-factly, seemingly accepting a job.

“I need a quarter. Your mom said you’d give me one.”

“What?” she practically hissed at Erin.

“You have a quarter. Don’t lie to me. Come here,” he lightly pulled Lillian over to him. She giggled. He looked her up and down and turned her to look at her side. “There it is!” he exclaimed, and pretended that he pulled a quarter that he had hidden between his fingers out of her ear.

She laughed. “Come play with me!” she squealed, and pulled on Calvin’s arm.

“I’ll see what I can do,” Calvin said. He turned to Erin. “Keep your ears open. I’ll scream if I get stuck in the tube slide.”

They ran around the playground for nearly half an hour until Erin called Lillian back over. She came over, riding on Calvin’s shoulders. “We should get lunch,” Erin said. “You want to join us?”

“I would love to but I can’t. I’m meeting Lucy for lunch. She should be here soon. Oh, there she is.”

Lucy slowly walked over to Calvin, Erin, and Lillian, with a confused look on her face. “What’s going on?” she asked.

“These are my new neighbors. Erin and Lillian. We were playing on the playground,” Calvin happily introduced.

“Uh-huh,” Lucy nodded.

Calvin reached up and lifted Lillian off his shoulders. He gave her a big hug before lowering her to the ground. “Mm. Have a good day, Lillian,” he said. “You, too, Erin.”

As Erin and Lillian walked off, Calvin leaned in to kiss Lucy but she turned her head, so he kissed her cheek.

“I thought you didn’t like kids,” Lucy said.

"I don’t. I like that one,” Calvin pointed to where Erin and Lillian walked off.

“Hm,” Lucy nodded. “Where are we eating?”

Calvin knew that Lucy tolerated him. He liked her when they were growing up but she didn’t want anything to do with him. Calvin could only imagine why she was with him now and none of it was good. “How about the Harvest Company?”

 

The Santa suit was a little tight but at least it fit his tall frame. Walter Faddis wasn’t enjoying retirement as much as he thought he would. He stood in the small pantry area of the Fillmore’s old kitchen, trying on the suit. His big debut was tomorrow and he wanted to kill himself.

Penny Vanderpyl was outside the pantry hoping the suit wouldn’t need many alterations and was pleased to see it fit well enough. “Give me a ho-ho-ho,” she said, wanting a glance at the entire experience.

It took nearly all the energy he had to muster up a boisterous “Ho! Ho! Ho!” but she was satisfied with the result.

“We’ll leave the costume in here and you can change. People rarely use the kitchen and no one comes into the pantry. So, we’ll see you at eleven in the morning for the big reveal at noon?” Penny asked.

“Yeah, I’ll be here,” Mr. Faddis sighed.

Mr. Faddis was a teacher for forty years, thirty-eight of those at the same high school. An English teacher, Mr. Faddis also coached debate and forensics. He always believed he was too good to be a teacher but it was always nice to show off how smart he was to idiot teenagers. And there were the occasional perks.

He didn’t want to retire. He wanted to make it to seventy but three years ago, his principal heavily suggested that he retire and hinted at some rumors some kids were starting to spread. Whenever he thought about that, he grumbled and rolled his eyes. Teaching would be great if it weren’t for the students.

 

After lunch, Calvin and Lucy walked to the riverfront shopping center. Lucy was debating on getting a small Christmas tree but didn’t know what she wanted to get, if anything. “You have a Christmas tree, right?” she asked Calvin.

“It’s in storage,” along with everything else that belonged to his mom that he couldn’t force himself to throw away. “I don’t really put up any decorations.”

“You should. Your apartment can be so dreary. You’ve been there three years and there’s nothing that’s you in the place. You could disappear and no one would know you were there.”

“Ouch. Why do I need to hang pictures on my wall? Who’s coming over? You and Alex,” Calvin explained. “Maybe I could get some plants.”

“Yes, your dreary apartment could use some dead things,” Lucy said.

“Are we starting our Christmas movie marathon tonight?” Calvin asked.

“I thought we had that planned,” Lucy replied. “Could we do it at my place?”

“But we’re already here. My place is right down the street.”

“You should move to a new place. Some place with more windows and less old people. The only light you have are the lights installed in the apartment. Buy a couple lamps or something.”

“I like where I live. I like being downtown. I like my neighbors. Plus, the rent is cheap.”

“I’m dating an old man,” Lucy sighed.

“We’re the same age. Besides, I want to hang around the building. Mr. Faddis starts being Santa tomorrow and I want to be there to reintroduce myself and talk to him,” Calvin said.

Lucy scoffed. “Why do you like Mr. Faddis so much? He wasn’t that great of a teacher or a person.”

“He made reading and writing fun for me. He inspired me to do debate and forensics. I wanted to be a writer because of him.”

“But you’re not a writer. Everything you say he inspired you to do, you don’t do!”

“I still read.”

Lucy rolled her eyes. “I will be at my apartment making some grilled cheese if you want to come over, watch Christmas movies, and spend the night.”

December 5th

Lucy woke up and saw Calvin sitting on the edge of her bed, fully dressed and putting on his shoes. “What are doing?” she asked, sitting up.

“I’m going home. I want to see Mr. Faddis. I was going to wake you up and say good-bye. Unless you want to come with me.”

“I’m naked,” Lucy said. She meant it as both an excuse and an invitation.

“I’ll take that as a ‘no’ then.”

“You know what?” Lucy threw the blanket off of her and got out of bed. “I will come with you. Maybe seeing me will jog his memory.”

“Okay…?”

Most of the Fillmore residents were at the introduction. Mr. Faddis was the right size—tall with enough of a gut and a real white beard. He was jovial enough with his ‘ho-ho-ho!’ Last year’s Santa was very energetic and seemed to overwhelm the kids and adults. The year before that, the Santa drank too much. That didn’t make him bad but his breath smelled of alcohol and he burped and hiccupped in the kid’s faces a lot.

As soon as she saw him, Lillian climbed up on Calvin and sat on his shoulders. She seemed excited about Santa but he wasn’t sure if she was excited about Santa or about Christmas. “What does Lillian want for Christmas?” Calvin leaned down and asked Erin.

“She’s into a lot of things, right now,” Erin said. “She’s been trying to do that quarter trick you showed her. She’s terrible at it.”

“I’ll have to show her how it’s done,” he smiled.

After the crowd dispersed and Mr. Faddis went back into the kitchen area, Calvin handed Lillian back to Erin. “Let’s go say ‘hi’ to Mr. Faddis,” Calvin took Lucy’s hand and began pulling her.

She reluctantly followed and joined Calvin in the kitchen pantry with the members of the board. The board gave Mr. Faddis the necessary kudos as he removed the Santa suit.

“Mr. Faddis,” Calvin called out. “Remember us?” Calvin introduced himself and Lucy.

“I’ve taught hundreds of students. I rarely remember them,” Mr. Faddis sighed. He didn’t even look at Calvin.

“Maybe you remember my sister, Christine—Chrissy Pratt,” Lucy said, she glared at Mr. Faddis.

Mr. Faddis, actually stopped and thought for a second. “Chrissy Pratt,” he mused. “I do remember her. Such a great student. I definitely had high expectations for her. Chrissy was always the leader during discussions and her writing was always a pleasure to read. How’s she doing?”

“She’s dead. She died the summer after she graduated,” Lucy revealed.

“Oh! Such a shame! Nothing gold can stay,” he quoted. “Such a loss of a beautiful person. I’m sorry for your loss. The world’s loss.”

“’The world’s loss.’ Can you believe that guy?” Lucy complained as they came back to Calvin’s apartment.

“He’s a teacher. He was being sympathetic.”

“He doesn’t care. He never cared about Chrissy. He only wanted to use her.”

“Where is this coming from? You never even talk about your sister and suddenly you’re talking about her to a man you haven’t seen in nearly twenty years.”

“Mr. Faddis was Chrissy’s favorite teacher mainly because he doted on her. And it’s because of that devotion that she’s dead.”

“What are you talking about? How is Chrissy’s death on Mr. Faddis?”

“You don’t understand,” she muttered and sighed exhaustively.

“Then tell me so I will understand!” Calvin exclaimed.

“I have to go to the store,” Lucy said.

“Do you need a ride or any help?” Calvin offered.

“No. I need to be alone right now,” Lucy looked away from Calvin and shook her head. “You can hang out with Alex or that new girl you seem fond of. Hell, hang out with Mr. Faddis for all I care,” Lucy turned around and left the apartment, slamming the door behind her.

December 7th

Eberling & Roberts Funeral Home was located at the edge of town in the old poor farm. The resident dormitories had been turned into the funerary rooms. Offices were on the second floor, but Calvin spent most of his time in the basement either embalming or cremating the bodies that came in. During lunch or after work, if he needed some time alone with his thoughts, he would walk through the wood to the southeast of the home. The woods had been turned into a nature park with trails. One of the trails exited in Oakwood Cemetery, which was typically the trail that Calvin took.

“She doesn’t want to be with me,” he admitted to himself as he entered the cemetery. “I seriously don’t know why she is with me.” He began wandering around the gravestones, he rambled. “I’ve wanted to be with Lucy since we were in school. What is this hold that Erin has over me? Is it because of Lillian? I do really like Lillian. I’ve never really like kids, even ones related to me. Why do I like Lillian? Is it because of Erin? It’s like what came first, the chicken or the egg?

“But I can’t abandon Lucy. She’s going through something and needs someone in her corner. Plus, it’s too close to the holiday. Although that’s no reason to be stuck in a bad relationship. I can still be Erin’s friend. And Lillian’s. Give me and Lucy a little more time. But she needs to understand that both Lillian and Erin are going to be a part of my life now.”

Calvin turned back around and headed back to the trail and funeral home. He got out his phone and dialed. “Hey, Lucy. I want to get everyone together and do a board game night. Do you want to help host?”

“Who’s everyone? You don’t know anyone,” she said.

“I know four people. You, Alex, Erin, and Lillian. It’ll be fun. We can order pizza or something and you can spend the night.”

Lucy thought for a bit. “You know what? I’m in.”

“Awesome. Thank you. It really means a lot to me.”

 

“You know, the whole point of Monopoly is to quickly have someone pull ahead and bankrupt everybody else,” Calvin said.

“Yes, Calvin. I’m sure we’ve all seen those articles,” Lucy said.

Calvin had six different versions of Monopoly because of his mom and had Lillian pick which one to play. She chose I Love Lucy because it was the most pink. Each player had their own strategy. Alex quickly began buying properties and building houses and hotels. Calvin and Erin bought random properties to keep monopolies from happening. Lucy just had a few properties and one monopoly with a couple houses. Lillian thought not buying anything would help but having to pay everybody rent hurt her chances of winning. One by one they declared bankruptcy until only Alex was left. They talked for a bit until Erin and Lillian had to go home since they both had school the next day. Alex followed a few minutes later leaving only Calvin and Lucy.

Calvin dropped the condom in the trash can and hugged Lucy. She seemed much more passionate than she had been. She sighed contentedly and lightly touched Calvin’s chest with her fingertips. She then got up and went to the bathroom. Calvin followed, putting on his shorts and pajama pants. He stood at the bathroom door and watched Lucy. “Hey, thanks for being here tonight,” he said. “It meant a lot to me.”

“I had fun. We’ll have to do that more.”

December 8th

Alex was happy to see an email from someone who wanted to buy his antique Swiss Army Knife. Once that money comes in, he can send his payment for a Civil War-era knife from the Alabama Volunteers. Alex wasn’t sure how he got into knife collecting. His father left him some after he died. He had them appraised, kept them for a bit, saved one, and sold the rest. He then saw a knife he liked while researching the knife he kept. Now, he had two dozen knives and routinely traded and sold off as he tastes changed.

One knife he kept prominently displayed was given to him by Calvin. Calvin was digging through the many boxes his mom had. “Hey, Alex, you collect knives, right?”

“To a point. Why?”

“I think my mom got this box at an auction or something. She would go to auctions and bid on just random crap in boxes. Anyway, this was in one of them,” Calvin held up a knife in a leather sheath. It was a simple knife with an aluminum eagle head for a handle.

“Ooh,” Alex said, taking the knife from Calvin. “I think this is a World War II trench knife. Not a bad knife.”

“Want it? You can have it.”

“I couldn’t take this. It belonged to your mother.”

“It was at the bottom of a box underneath three other boxes. I don’t think she even knew she had it.”

“Still. It’s gotta be worth $500. You should keep it,” Alex continued to press.

“Alex. You’re the collector. I want you to have it. A gift from me to you,” Calvin pushed back.

“All right. But I’m not selling it.”

“It’s yours. You can do whatever you want with it.”

Alex displayed it. A gift between friends. He went downstairs to check the mail. It had been a couple days and the mailboxes were small and got crowded quickly. As Alex turned the corner into the lobby, he nearly ran into Mr. Faddis. “Excuse me,” Alex said. “You’re Mr. Faddis, right?”

“Yes,” he responded, a bit irritated. Ms. Vanderpyl had done some alterations on the Santa suit and wanted Mr. Faddis to try it on.

“Calvin is really excited that you are here. He was the one that convinced the board to pick you,” Alex said.

“Who?”

“Calvin. He was a former student of yours.”

“Oh. Oh! I remember him. He was annoying as a student and he’s annoying now.”

“You were his favorite teacher when he was in school.”

“He was far from my favorite student,” Mr. Faddis said with a laugh.

“O…kay…I don’t think you need to be a complete ass to a student who thinks so highly of you,” Alex defended.

“I don’t need to be lectured by some fourth-rate writing hack. If you’ll…” he cleared his throat, seemingly from blurting out something more offensive “excuse me.”

 

“I don’t know. Maybe Lucy is right,” Calvin sighed as he and Alex played cards. “I mean, Mr. Faddis was always cold and distant. I thought that was his appeal. Plenty of other students liked teachers I wasn’t fond of.”

“It’s been a while since I’ve been called a hack.”

“I’m sorry he did that.”

“Maybe it’s because he’s old,” Alex suggested. “Wait. No. I’m older than him and I’m a delight.”

Calvin chuckled.

December 13th

Erin turned off the video and the ring light and began putting stuff away. Lillian, who was playing a video game in the living room, turned it off and went into the bathroom. “Can we go?” she asked.

“I have to get some pictures,” Erin said. Her make-up was done like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer for Christmas. She had an idea for a Santa Claus but wasn’t sure if she wanted to do it. “And clean up. How about you head downstairs and wait in line. By the time you get to Santa, I should be cleaned up and be down there.”

Lillian left the apartment and took the elevator down to the lobby. There was a small line to see Santa which Lillian dutifully stood in. She thought about what she was going to ask for. She had already given her mom a list so she was going to focus on things she wanted that were maybe not obtainable from her mom, like the kitchen playset and the Power Wheel.

Erin still wasn’t downstairs when Lillian got on Santa’s lap. “Ho! Ho! Ho!” Mr. Faddis exclaimed, pulling Lillian closer to him on his lap. “What’s your name, little girl?”

“Lillian.”

“Pretty name for a pretty girl,” he said in a more hushed voice. “What would you like for Christmas?”

“A kitchen playset,” Lillian began. “I’m not sure it’s something my mom can get.”

“A kitchen playset!” Mr. Faddis boasted. “Do you help your mom in the kitchen?”

“Sometimes. When she lets me and when I don’t just want to play video games,” Lillian revealed. “And I don’t need the pink one. There’s also blue and green.”

“No pink, got it,” Mr. Faddis rested his hand on Lillian’s back. “What else?”

“A Power Wheel—one of those cars that kids can drive,” Lillian said.

“I’m guessing you don’t want the pink one of that either,” Mr. Faddis said between ho-hos. He then slid his hand up Lillian’s shirt and rubbed her back.

“I’d like the blue one,” Lillian said. She shivered and shifted on Mr. Faddis’ lap. “Stop that. I don’t like it.” She slid off Mr. Faddis’ lap, saw Erin standing near and ran over to her, throwing her arms around her in a hug.

“Did you give all your ideas to Santa?” Erin asked.

“Yeah. Let’s go back home.” When they approached their apartment door, Lillian spoke. “Santa put his hand up my shirt.”

“What?” Erin turned around and dropped face-to-face with Lillian.

“It was just on my back. I told him I didn’t like it and left,” Lillian explained.

“Good. Thank you for telling me,” she hugged Lillian and stood up, knocking on Calvin’s door.

“Yes?” he opened the door.

“Can you watch Lillian for a minute?”

“Of course.”

“Thanks,” and she stormed off back downstairs.

Calvin and Lillian stared at where she left then at each other. “Someone’s in trouble,” Lillian said.

Mr. Faddis’ time as Santa was over for the day. Erin stormed into the kitchen and the pantry. She slammed the door open, Mr. Faddis, in a tank top and still in his Santa pants, jumped. “You touched my daughter?”

“Of course not,” he scoffed. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to change.”

“She said you put your hand up the back of her shirt and I’m going to take her word over anything you say,” Erin took a step toward Mr. Faddis. “Since I didn’t see anything, take this as a warning. If you come near me, my daughter or if I hear that you have done anything like that to anyone else, I will kill you.”

“You’re threatening…”

“You don’t need to respond. Just don’t do it again.” Erin stormed back out and went back upstairs. When she walked into Calvin’s apartment, Lillian was trying to fling a ball attached to a string into a small wooden cup. “What’s going on?”

“It’s a cup-and-ball. I bought a bunch of old-school toys. I thought Lillian would like them,” Calvin explained. Lillian made grunting sounds as the ball bounced off the edge of the cup once again. “Is everything all right?”

“I don’t want to really get into it, especially since he’s your favorite and all…” Erin began.

Calvin sighed. “What did he do?”

“He went up Lillian’s shirt to rub her back,” she said.

“I’m sure he didn’t mean anything about it,” Calvin said.

“He shouldn’t be touching the kids. Especially not under the clothes and skin-to-skin. You’re not defending him, are you?”

“Absolutely not. I just don’t want you to overreact over something and possibly ruining his life.”

“He needs to have his life ruined if he’s touching children.”

“I’m gonna go talk to him,” Calvin said and left his apartment, going downstairs. He caught Mr. Faddis as he was walking to his car. “Mr. Faddis, wait up!” Calvin exclaimed, running to him.

Mr. Faddis rolled his eyes and stopped and turned around. “What do you want?”

“A neighbor of mine just said that you tried to or did touch her daughter and I just want to get your side and see if it was a misunderstanding or something,” Calvin said.

Mr. Faddis scoffed. “That shrill beast is your neighbor? How dreadful.”

“Okay…”

“It’s clearly a misunderstanding,” Mr. Faddis began. “I’m Santa Claus. I’m trying to convey an air of love and attention. A pat on the lap, a touch of the hand, or a small hug at the waist.”

“So, you did touch Lillian’s back?”

Mr. Faddis reacted like this was all a waste of his time. “Yes. And when she asked to stop, I did.”

“Okay, but it shouldn’t have happened in the first place. Especially under the shirt with your bare hand…”

“I am not going to be lectured or admonished by you over a misunderstanding. If your little…neighbor wants to cause problems then so be it. I am a well-respected member of the community…”

“What does that have to do…?”

“And you are just mad that I didn’t know who you were. Next time, be more memorable. I remember a little about you. You weren’t as good as you thought you were. Your stories were mediocre and derivative and your public speaking was stilted and lacked focus. I may have been your favorite teacher but the feeling was not reciprocated. You were far from my favorite student and I hated, hated, seeing you on my roster but administration wouldn’t let me drop you,” Mr. Faddis said. “Now. If you’ll excuse me…”

Erin opened her door and looked at Calvin. “What?”

“I am sorry if anything I said or did made you believe that I wasn’t on your side. I never thought Lillian was making things up. I talked with Mr. Faddis and he basically admitted everything. I don’t think it was malicious but he certainly didn’t care that Lillian didn’t like it or that you accused him.”

“I’ll be glad when his time here is done.”

“He also said some pretty mean things about me. Not to make this about me or anything.”

“He’s a jerk that creeps on girls,” Erin said.

Calvin sighed. “I guess Mrs. Sabraw, my third-grade teacher is now my favorite.”

December 19th

Lucy had spent the night at Calvin’s, but he had to work one of the rare Saturdays. “Death doesn’t recognize holidays or weekends,” Calvin said as Lucy hugged him before he left. “Do you need a ride somewhere?”

“No. I’m going to hang out here for a bit and then do some Christmas shopping. I’m just going to take the bus if I need a ride.”

“Do you want me to come over when I’m done with work?” Calvin asked.

“If you want,” Lucy said. “If not, I understand,” Lucy and Calvin kissed and then he left the apartment. She hung around for about thirty more minutes before putting on her coat and leaving the apartment. It had gotten cold over the past few days so her coat was bulky with a big, fuzzy hood. She was hoping that it would be a white Christmas but wasn’t holding her breath.

“I’ll be back at two to pick her up,” Erin said as she dropped Lillian off at her father’s. “If there’s a problem, call me. If you can’t handle it, call me. If you just want to stop watching her, call me.”

It was contentious between Erin and Lillian’s father. He had drug problems and had been to jail a couple of times. He said he was now clean and wanted to be a part of Lillian and Erin’s life. She was skeptical but wanted to give him a chance and Lillian deserved to know her father.

“We’ll be fine,” he said as Lillian pushed past and went into his apartment. “Thank you, Erin.”

“You’re her father. You deserve a chance.” At some point, she found him attractive, she wanted to be with him, to marry him. She allowed him to impregnate her hoping that would change him and settle him down. “Bye, Lillian. See you at two, Erik. Remember. Call me.”

“She doesn’t like red?” Alex said into his cell phone. “Who doesn’t like red? I don’t think knowing favorite colors is the measure of a father, David. What about blue?” Alex sighed heavily. “What about appliances? Does she need an air fryer or a coffee grinder? Oh, I’ll figure something out. Thanks, David.”

Alex was going to celebrate Christmas with each of his kid’s families this year and it was complicated finding gifts and getting it organized. He offered to fly everyone out and get together at his place but it was too small and couldn’t offer bedrooms or hotels.

“Maybe I’ll just do gift cards and cash…”

“What are you doing here?” Mr. Faddis asked as he was changing into his Santa Claus suit. He was just in the pants and a white shirt and was holding the red coat in his hand. “Are you here to yell at me some more?”

A knife suddenly appeared and was driven into Mr. Faddis’ gut, twice, and then twisted. One more thrust and Mr. Faddis was on the ground. The person left out the back, dropping the knife next to Mr. Faddis’ body.

“Where is Walter?” Mr. Zylberberg asked as Mr. Faddis was now almost twenty minutes late.

“I saw him come in,” Ms. Vanderpyl said. “He just needed to change. He should be out here by now. I’ll go see if he’s still in the pantry.” Ms. Vanderpyl walked to the kitchen area and knocked on the pantry door. “Mr. Faddis? Walter? Are you in there? We have people waiting to see Santa Claus.”

There was no answer so she slowly opened the door. Mr. Faddis was lying on the floor, a pool of blood beneath him.

 

“What’s going on?” Calvin asked as he stepped onto the fifth floor from the stairway. There were policemen standing at Alex’s door and a couple more down the hallway.

“It appears that someone has…killed Mr. Faddis,” Alex said.

“The weapon was lying beside him,” a policeman interrupted. “A Civil War-era knife. We found two sets of fingerprints on it…”

“Mine,” this time Alex interrupted.

“And an unknown person.”

“That’s the knife I gave you,” Calvin said.

“That’s probably the other set,” another policeman said.

“If you wouldn’t mind submitting to a fingerprint kit,” the first officer said.

“Sure. When you get a warrant,” Calvin replied.

“We got some blood over here,” a third officer said. He was standing in front of Erin’s door.

The officers began walking over there. “Is Erin home?” Calvin whispered to Alex.

“I don’t think so.”

“Do you know whose apartment this is?”

“Yeah,” Calvin answered. “They’re with your warrant.”

“Look,” the officer pinched the bridge of his nose. “We have to work together. It might behoove you to answer at least some of our questions, especially considering you pushed to have Walter Faddis hired as Santa and a quarter of the people on this floor, including you, had an argument with him since he started working here.”

“It was all personal grudges. Mr. Faddis was kind of a pompous ass,” Calvin said.

“Mm-hmm. We’re still going to want to talk to everyone who had words with him.”

“What’s going on?” Erin asked as she and Lillian exited the elevator.

“Calvin!” Lillian exclaimed and ran to Calvin.

“Is this your apartment, ma’am?”

“Yes, it is.”

“What’s your name?”

“Erin Savitsky.”

“Where were you around noon?”

“I was shopping. At Litwin’s.”

The officer turned to the other one. “We can check with them,” to Erin “Do you have a receipt?”

“In the car…”

“We got a sample,” the officer collecting the blood off the doorknob said.

“Good. Can you get it cleaned off for Ms. Savitsky? Are you willing to tell me where you were around noon?” the officer turned to Calvin.

“At work,” Calvin answered. “At Eberling & Roberts Funeral Home. Down in the basement with a couple of dead bodies.”

“Mortician,” the officer said. “Not disgusted by dead bodies.”

“Okay. I think if you want any more information from any of us, you need to have some hard evidence and a warrant,” Calvin said. “Erin, how about you and Lillian and Alex come over while the police finish up their job? If they need us, they know where to find us,” Calvin said. The four of them went into Calvin’s apartment and Calvin shut and locked the door.

“Why were the police here? Did we do something wrong?” Lillian asked.

“No, sweetie,” Erin hugged Lillian. “So, Mr. Faddis is dead?”

“That’s what they said,” Calvin replied.

“With the knife that you gave me,” Alex sighed.

“And left a lot of blood on Erin’s doorknob,” Calvin responded.

Erin shuddered. “I hope they clean it off really good.”

“Who do you think did it?” Calvin asked.

“Who knows? He’s probably made a lot of people mad. He got all of us mad at him within a week,” Alex explained.

“I should call Lucy. She left after me today. Maybe she saw something suspicious,” Calvin said.

“I think Lillian and I can head home now,” Erin said.

“I will escort you,” Alex offered.

“Hey, come over tomorrow morning. I’ll make breakfast,” Calvin invited.

December 20th

Everyone ate at least four pancakes and three pieces of bacon. Calvin and Alex sipped on hot coffee as they and Erin had orange juice. Lillian had chocolate milk.

“I had a dream I was arrested,” Erin said. “So that was fun.”

“Are you going to jail?” Lillian asked.

“No. Mommy’s not going to jail. Mommy didn’t do anything wrong,” Erin awkwardly smiled. “What if it wasn’t someone he knew? Are either of you creeped out that someone was just murdered in the building and no one saw anything?”

“I keep telling Ms. Vanderpyl to get those cameras fixed. Only, like, three actually work,” Calvin revealed.

“We need better security,” Alex said. “Anyone can just walk into the building. Despite the Barney Fife-looking hat, Dabney doesn’t exactly convey security and safety.”

“Is he the man at the desk downstairs?” Lillian asked. “The one always sleeping?”

“Yes, Lillian,” Erin replied.

“I like him,” Lillian giggled.

“Does anybody want anything else? I think there are a couple of pancakes left and plenty to drink,” Calvin offered.

Lillian burped loudly. “Can I get more chocolate milk?”

“Of course. Anyone else?"

“Oh, I’ll take a refill,” Alex lifted his mug.

Calvin took the mug and Lillian’s glass, tousling her hair with a smile, and went into the kitchen. He poured more chocolate milk and coffee for Lillian and Alex. As he set Lillian’s glass down, there was a knock on the door.

“I wonder who that is,” Calvin sighed.

“Another reason to have security. Keep out the solicitors and religious proselytizers,” Alex grumbled.

Calvin looked out the peephole and saw two cops, the same from yesterday, standing in the hallway. He opened the door but kept on the chain. “Yes?”

“Is Erin Savitsky here? We knocked on her door but no one answered. We thought you’d know where she is.”

“What’s this about?” Calvin asked.

“We need her to come down to the station. We have some more questions about where she was when Walter Faddis was killed.”

“I knew this would happen,” Erin was standing behind Calvin.

“Hello, Ms. Savitsky,” the officer nodded. “We have a few questions about your whereabouts yesterday.”

“What questions?” Calvin asked for her.

“We’d prefer she answer in private.”

“No, it’s fine. I’ll go with them,” Erin said. “What am I going to do with Lillian?” she suddenly wondered, tearing up.

“I can watch her. Look, I have a friend who’s a lawyer. I’ll call him and have him go down there. Don’t say anything until he gets there, okay?” Calvin hugged Erin, trying to calm her. She was so soft and he realized this was the first time he had actually touched her. He didn’t want the hug to end and could actually feel the weight lift from her. “It’ll be fine. Right? Because you didn’t do it.”

“No,” she sniffed.

“Okay. Lillian will be fine. I’ll get Randy over there. It’ll be fine. Don’t say anything until Randy gets there.”

She wiped a tear and nodded.

“Mommy?” Lillian came over.

“It’s okay, sweetie. You’ll stay here with Calvin and I’ll be back as soon as talk with the nice policemen. I’ll be back as soon as possible,” she hugged Lillian, which started her crying again.

“She’ll be back before lunch,” Calvin said.

After Erin left with the police, Calvin got on his phone. “Hey, Randy. Are you available? I have a friend who’s being taken to the police station. Yeah. Can you go down and just make sure the cops play fair? Her name is Erin Savitsky. Thanks. I owe you.”

“How could you possibly pay him back? Gonna give him a free embalming?” Alex asked.

“I’ll buy him a nice dinner or something. Lillian, do you want to get out a game or something while we wait for your mom?”

“Yes!” she growled and ran to the game closet.

“I should head out,” Alex gulped the last of his coffee and stood up. “I hope Erin will be okay.”

“She’ll be fine. I’ll keep you informed. Like I said, she’ll be back by lunch.”

 

A little after eleven, the front door unlocked, and Lucy came in. She saw Lillian and Calvin sitting on the floor watching a kid’s show on TV. Lillian almost looked asleep, snuggled in with Calvin, his arm around her.

“Hey, Lucy,” Calvin turned his head with a smile. “Come watch Gooey McHuggins with us. Have you ever seen Gooey McHuggins before? I’m kind of a fan now. Yes, his parents named him Gooey.”

“O…kay. Can you send the kid home? I was kind of hoping for some alone time with you.”

“Erin’s not home. I’m watching Lillian until she gets back from the police station.”

“Why’s she at the police station?”

“They had a few questions about where she was yesterday.”

“So, is she their main suspect?” Lucy asked. “Calvin, what if she’s arrested? Doesn’t this kid have grandparents or a father?”

“She’s not going to be arrested. I’m watching Lillian as a favor. Besides, I love hanging out with Lillian,” he tousled her hair and she snored slightly.

“She’s a seven-year-old child,” Lucy scoffed. “You said you didn't like kids.”

"I like this one. Haven’t we argued about this before?” Calvin asked. “Just sit down and watch some Gooey McHuggins with us. You’ll love it. Erin will be back by lunch.”

 

Erin was actually back a little after lunch. She knocked on the door and Calvin got up from the floor, where he and Lillian had been playing games. The one they were on now was Perfection, where if you didn’t get all the shapes in the correct space in time, the game shot the pieces back at you. Lucy was ignoring them, scrolling on her phone at the table in the kitchen area. “They let you go?” Calvin asked her, happily inviting her into his apartment.

“Yeah, I had an alibi. I was with Lillian’s father and he confirmed that I was there,” she sighed. “Your friend dropped me off, gave me his card, and told the police to call him if they had anything further. I’m just glad I’m off their radar.”

“Me, too. Lillian’s father, huh?” he lowered his voice so Lillian couldn’t hear. “Are you two…?”

“No. God, no!” she exclaimed, kind of laughing. “I needed to Christmas shop and he was available to watch her. He’s not very reliable but he’s trying so I figured why not?”

“I would’ve watched her,” Calvin offered. “We’ve had a great time this morning.”

Perfection suddenly popped and all the pieces went everywhere. Lillian giggled goofily. “What are you playing?”

“I teaching her how if you’re not perfect, people shoot things at you. You remember the game Perfection?”

“Ah. Just what she needs. More trauma,” Erin smiled.

“Sorry.”

“I’m just kidding.”

“Can we get some lunch?” Lucy yelled from the kitchen. “This has been fun and all…” she stood up and waved her hand in a circle at Lillian and where they were playing.

 “Yeah, we should be going,” Erin said. “Come on, Lily.” Lillian stood up and ran to her mom. “Thanks again for watching her.”

“Anytime. I loved having her here,” Calvin said.

Lillian threw herself at him and hugged him. “Raawwrrr!” she growled, squeezing tightly.

“Bye, sweetie,” Calvin said, and bent over a little to hug Lillian back.

Erin and Lillian left, Calvin closing the door behind them. “Ugh,” Lucy rolled her eyes and stood up. “How long did you spend with her?”

“I like spending time with her. She’s a funny, fun, and weirdly smart kid,” he shrugged. “We should babysit her together some time. I think you’d like her if you gave her a chance.”

“Maybe,” Lucy looked away from him. “Can we forget lunch for a bit? I really came over for some alone time with you.” She went over and put her arms around Calvin. She leaned up and kissed him, pushing her tongue into his mouth. “I’ve been wanting to do that all morning. Come on, let’s go to the bedroom.”

“Okay,” he smiled at her. There was a knock at the door. “I’ll meet you in there.”

She walked off as Calvin turned around to the door. He opened it and saw Alex standing in the hall. “They replaced my lock since it’s clear someone broke in or got a key to steal that knife. Here’s a copy of my key if you ever need it,” he said and held out a shiny new key.

“Thanks. I will throw away the old one,” Calvin nodded and began closing the door on Alex. “I’ll see you later, man.”

As Calvin headed to the bedroom, he stopped at a drawer in a bookcase and opened it. He dug a little bit but couldn’t find what he was looking for. “What are you looking for?” Lucy came out of the bedroom in her underwear.

“Alex gave me a new key to his apartment. They replaced his lock. His old key isn’t in here.”

“You probably just misplaced it,” Lucy said. “Come on, I’m chilly,” she grabbed his arm and pulled him into the bedroom.

December 22nd

Lucy kept Calvin away from the Fillmore for the next couple of days, wanting to keep him away from Erin and Lillian. He had rarely been over at her place because she wanted their lives to be separate. Her apartment was small and she only had a TV, chair, and a bed. Calvin honestly wondered what she did when she wasn’t working or over at his place.

“I will be going home when I’m done with work today. I have to collect my mail and make sure everything is good at my apartment,” Calvin said this morning as he got dressed.

“Okay. You can also stop by there and then come over here. I feel like Chinese tonight. Is Chinese okay for dinner?” Lucy asked.

“That or Mexican. It’s been a while since I’ve had Mexican food,” Calvin proffered his own idea. “We could also just go to my place and I could make dinner. You know I can cook, right?”

“I know but being so close to Christmas and you still having to work. It’s nice to just have someone else make our food and just spend time together,” Lucy said.

“Okay,” Calvin agreed.

“Can you grab my bottle of aspirin from my bag?” Lucy asked.

“Yeah, sure,” Calvin went over to Lucy’s bag on a chair by the door. He unzipped it and began digging through it. There wasn’t much in it. He found the bottle next to his spare key to Alex’s apartment. “What the hell?” he asked himself. He looked in the bag again and pulled out a small journal that just snapped closed.

“What are you doing?” Lucy asked, seeing Calvin with her book.

“Getting your aspirin. What are you doing with Alex’s spare key? I thought I lost this. Or it was stolen. It’s how…you got the knife to kill Mr. Faddis,” Calvin looked at Lucy. “Did you…kill Mr. Faddis?”

“Of course not. I could never…” Lucy attempted to lie but then scoffed, rolled her eyes, and changed her tone. “He was a terrible person, Calvin. I finally had a chance to get revenge. Open my journal. There’s a letter in the back of it. It’ll explain everything.”

Calvin agreed. He opened the journal and pulled out an old piece of folded up notebook paper and began reading it. “It’s from your sister. You kept this?” He read and realized about halfway through. “It’s a suicide note.”

“He killed her and despite all the pain he inflicted on others he was able to keep his job and then happily retire,” Lucy said.

“He had an affair with her for two years. He raped her. When she graduated and he refused to continue their relationship, she killed herself,” Calvin looked at Lucy. “Why did you never mention this?”

“No one would believe me. Victim blaming. Protecting her. A lot of reasons. I saw a chance and I took it. For Chrissy.”

“But we all became suspects. Me, Alex, Erin. You didn’t even know her. How could you do that to us? We were your friends. I’m your boyfriend,” Calvin folded the note back up and put it back in the journal. He then took his phone out of his pocket.

“Are you turning me in?” Lucy asked.

“Of course,” Calvin raised an eyebrow. “You killed a man. I’m sorry he did that to Chrissy. I’m sorry that she and Mr. Faddis left you with this burden. Even if I didn’t turn you in, they’d figure out it was you.”

“I’m sorry I put you, Alex, and Erin through all of this. None of you deserved this,” Lucy sighed. “And thanks for being there when I needed you. I’m glad we dated. You were a good boyfriend.”

Calvin looked from his phone to Lucy, locking eyes with her. A slight smile came across his face.

 

Calvin looked at his tostada in front of him. Alex, Erin, and Lillian ate while also looking at Calvin with concerned looks. He also had three tacos sitting in a tray, waiting for him. “Why is Calvin sad?”

“Because his girlfriend hurt somebody,” Erin said. “She had to go away for a while.”

“Cheer up, Calvin!” Lillian shrieked and hugged Calvin. “We all love you.”

“I know. Thanks for coming out with me. It’s been a weird day,” Calvin picked up his tostada to finally take a bite but paused. “It’s been weird month.”

When they all got back home, they stood in the hallway between Calvin and Erin’s apartments. “Are you going to be okay?” Erin asked, putting her hand on Calvin’s shoulders.

“Oh, yeah. I’ll be fine. It’s just kind of surreal. I’m glad I had you three this evening,” Calvin smiled at his friends and neighbors.

“I have to go. I have to start getting packed up for my Christmas,” Alex said. “I’ll see you all some time tomorrow. Good night.”

“Good night, Alex,” both Calvin and Erin said in unison.

Calvin rubbed his arm and then looked at Erin. “Hey, do you and Lillian want to come over, put on a Christmas movie and make cookies or something? I know it’s after eight, but it’s the holidays and you don’t have work or school.”

“We should be getting home,” Erin almost immediately answered. “We are going to my parents for Christmas Eve and we’re bringing mashed potatoes and sugar cookies to decorate so we have to spend all day doing that. But maybe we can get together that night or on Christmas Day.”

“Okay. Cool. You know where to find me,” Calvin said. “Have a good night. Good night, Lillian.”

“Good night, Calvin,” Lillian said.

And they went into their respective apartments. Calvin stood by the door and looked out the peephole at Erin’s door, hoping that it would open back up, but it didn’t.

December 25th - Epilogue

Calvin happily wrapped the gifts he got for Erin and Lillian the night before. He waited until after eleven in the morning to take them over. He wanted to make sure they were awake, done opening presents, and finished with breakfast. He knocked on the door and heard shuffling behind it. Erin opened and her face lit up upon seeing Calvin. “Hi, Erin. Merry Christmas. I brought you and Lillian a couple of gifts.”

“Oh, that’s sweet. I’m sorry we don’t have anything for you.”

“That’s fine. It’s been a busy month as we discussed before,” Calvin said, handing her the bag of presents.

“Do you want to come in for a minute? Watch Lillian open your gift?”

Calvin began to take her up on her offer but stopped when he heard Lillian talking to what sounded like a male voice. “Is someone over?” Calvin asked.

“It’s Lillian’s father. He called yesterday and said he had gifts. I agreed to let him come over and spend some time with her,” Erin explained.

“Oh. Well, I don’t want to interrupt or take time away from him. I’ll come over later and see how Lillian like them. I’ll talk to you later,” Calvin said and turned back to his apartment.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. He’s her father. He should have this time alone. Tell Lillian Merry Christmas for me and I hope you both like your gifts.”

“Thank you. Merry Christmas to you as well. We owe you presents.”

“Think nothing of it,” Calvin smiled and watched Erin disappear back into her apartment. He looked at her door for a few seconds before going back into his apartment.       ▩

A Variation On White

Check out this Christmas card drawn by Art Sansom
on the Born Loser Facebook Page.

February 10, 1967

Maybe Doodle doesn't like "jokes" that include the words 'Indian', 'wigwam' and 'whoopee'. Just because it's offensive, doesn't mean it's funny.

We all know that if you have to explain why a joke is funny, it's not really funny. Is that CLUNK supposed to be like when your computer has a fatal error, except this is Brutus' brain?

I saw all the discourse about cloud dancer when it happened two or so weeks ago and I am not getting into it again. If you don't like the color, you don't have to use it. And that joke isn't a good one, Brutus. Needs work.

I Blame Gladys

from Poorly Drawn Cats

(@poorlycatdraw)

February 9, 1967

What kind of crimes is Brutus wanted for? Sex crimes, no doubt. Anyway, this happens when you live in a police state and will probably start happening in America some time during 2026. I'm looking forward to seeing all of our pictures on WANTED posters like the cover to that X-Men comic.

That sign did not scan great in the last panel.

Hm. Didn't think Wilberforce was being raised as a materialistic monster. I'm very disappointed, and Brutus seems to be, too.

Do those ghosts visit people with the wrong Christmas spirit or just people with no Christmas spirit?