That's Not Dinner, Gladys Is Boiling Dish Rags

April 8, 1967

I don't think this is in Brutus' job description. What? It is? And even if it wasn't, the line "Any other requests from supervisors or managers" makes it okay? Capitalism is great!

Veeblefester is bad at darts.

Is Gladys a good cook or not??!!?? I swear this comic goes back and forth on that. So, here's what I think. *deep breath* I think Gladys is a good cook, but I think she experiments too much. "This food no one likes was on sale, let's try something new!" There's a reason it was on sale, Gladys!

So Really the Award Is for the Donuts

April 7, 1967

🎵Peter Rabbit is a stupid book

About a stupid rabbit

Who steals vegetables from other people's gardens.🎶

I don't know what the rabbit is getting out of these just-planted whatever-they-are, but what do I know about rabbits or gardening? Not much.

Brutus has never gotten employee of the month?! In [mumbles number] years of working for Veeblefester? Even I've gotten employee of the month and I am very mediocre and not at all special.

Wait Until Hattie Learns There's a Skiing Event Where You Shoot Guns

November 22, 1987

I will be honest that I miss living in an era where you had to call people in order to get information. You want the temperature? You have to call. You want to know what the official languages are in Djibouti? You have to call the library. You want to know if our lives are controlled by nature or nurture? You have to call the psych department at the local university.

You would think Brutus would absolutely be against "heredity" making him, and by extension Wilberforce, who they are. At least Brutus gets $10. $10 that is technically his money anyway since he's the only one who works and he and Gladys are married, but $10 nonetheless.

This is a great example of why you rarely use current events in your comic strip. You created this tribute to a great skier, who is inspiring Hattie to become an Olympic champion, and all people will think about while reading this is...

Anyway, he's to Hurricane Hattie learning to ski. I know she's stuck in an infinite comic strip time loop, but let's encourage every little girl and all of their dreams.

What Did Gladys Get Brutus?

April 6, 1967

Why would Gladys ring the doorbell? I guess maybe she didn't take anything with her, she just stormed out of the house. I don't know. I'm ambivalent to Brutus and Gladys' marriage. I think they can both do better.

"I'm going home to mother!"

I'm sure these would be good if you liked sardines. I mean, there's a market for these. Did Brutus not know Gladys doesn't like sardines?

"I'm going home to mother!"

Man On the Inside

April 5, 1967

I was going to make a joke about Brutus being from the past because he's scared of a tea kettle whistle, but the first whistling tea kettle was made in 1923. Brutus should be aware of whistling tea kettles, especially in his own house. Maybe he's from the future...

Nice one.

Do you mean to tell me there are other tea cozy companies? Someone else makes this crap? This officially makes me believe Veeblefester is a tea cozy manufacturer and not just a tea cozy middleman.

What a Day Keeps Wilberforce Away?

April 3, 1967

What is Gladys' hat? I originally thought maybe it was a feminine bowler hat. Maybe something like this:

But now I'm not so sure.

This is how the United States is dealing with healthcare now. "Just eat apples and you'll be fine. Trust me, I'm Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. and standing next to me is professional boxer Mike Tyson. Between us, we have zero years experience in medical or nutritional fields."

Look at Wilberforce's face in the last panel. "What are you talking about? I'm not asking about onions and I don't really need to know about your love life, Uncle Ted."

New Diner Items

JAMES VAN DER BEEK

1977 - 2026

March 31, 1967

Ha-ha! Brutus loves Gladys! Brutus had me right up until the "tootsie-boo-boo" part. That is embarrassing. I would sigh, cry, and die as well.

This diner now has a black angus burger? Made with real angus? How much is a regular burger? Those are pretty expensive, too. I think Chip aged the diner waitress. Here she is in October and here she is last week? Are they the same woman? This bothers me more than it should.

Hmmmmm....

Questionable Tuesday

March 30, 1967

Ooh. Definitely turning that off or disconnecting it or whatever I have to do. What is Veeblefester's chair? Is that a throne?

And does Brutus have to find this volunteer? Is Brutus now the volunteer? This all could've been done over that speaker.

Wow. If you have to warn someone "Hey, I have a question so just remember that there's no such thing as a stupid question..." then you should just not ask your question. Honestly, it'd be better if Brutus just went "I have a stupid question..." and asked his question.

Post-Big Game Quickies

March 29, 1967

I always roll my eyes at this trope. I think it's used in practically every TV show from I Love Lucy to The Golden Girls. I guess the trick to a souffle that doesn't collapse is whipping old eggs. I don't know, I've never made one. This is what the internet says.

At least they can still eat whatever is in the pot.

Sure, I guess the Seahawks' dark blue uniforms were the prettiest. Gladys seems more like someone who picks the winner based on which team has the cutest quarterback.

Now, did they actually bet using one of the several gambling apps that are slowly ruining people's lives or was this just a friendly wager between husband, wife, and maybe Uncle Ted?

Settle In for Sports Ball

November 15, 1987

She doesn't...look?...old? I would assume that Veeblefester's secretary would know what his wife looks like, but I guess Veeblefester must not have any pictures of her. I guess it would be hard to have an affair with someone in your office with pictures of your family staring back at you.

Anyway, do better Veeblefester's unnamed secretary.

When does this comic take place? They are already sitting down like the game is about to start, dinner will be ready at halftime, but Uncle Ted says they still have hours before they eat. Wait. Coverage of this crap begins at noon? Sweet Jesus!

That orange chair really clashes with...everything.