The Early Return Gets the Worm

As someone who hates both cole slaw and sauerkraut, I stand by my "Yuck!"

Justifiable Homicide

Oh, just put a pillow over Brutus’ face, Gladys. He’s worth more to you dead than alive anyway.

Paid for By the Committee for Children Saying the Darndest Things

They’re running for office–never has “running for” something ever indicated that you are running from something. I do not find your play on words amusing, Chip.

Shouldn't He Be At the Hospital Or Something?

Yeah…I don’t think that’s medically possible. More than likely it’s a cracked or bruised rib or even a hernia. Brutus should really just go to the doctor instead of constantly relying on WebMD.

Survey Says...

Is that survey in the newspaper? What the hell kind of newspaper is that?

No One Is Stopping You, Brutus

Yeah, burned Pop-Tarts (or toaster pastries) are terrible but you know what else is terrible? Not being able to properly work a toaster.

No One Is Making You Golf With Brutus

It’s Lividea, Rancid Veeblefester’s rarely mentioned and even more rarely seen wife. We last saw her back in June…of 2008.

Another way today’s strip could’ve ended was:
“Would you believe, the buffoon actually wore black and white golf shoes! Egad!”

“That’s nothing for you to be upset about–you have a pair of black and white golf shoes yourself!”

“But he’s POOR, Lividea!”

Shower Power

“I want you to take a shower before bed.”

“That’s not necessary.”

“And just why is that, young man?”

“My bedsheets haven’t been changed in a week so showering will be pointless as I will just end up sleeping in my own sweat, grease and dead skin cells.”

News Cast

News is cheap for local stations to produce so you can either spend money on either a news program that will be watched and is fairly inexpensive to produce or you can pony up $300,000 an episode for a show that may do poorly in the ratings and cost your station money. Which one do you think local stations tend to do?

Also, get off of Brutus’ lawn!

Define 'Unpleasant'. Filing Paperwork?

Well, there’s only six people in your department and Veeblefester just picks names out of a hat. Each employee puts in a slip of paper with their name on it. Unfortunately, Tom, Rolf, Artie and Bob put in slips with “Brutus” written on them. Veeblefester, to show he’s being fair, puts his name in the hat as well but makes sure to put in at least twenty extra slips that say “Brutus” on them.