Friday, February 10, 2017

Classic Magic #2: Magic Man, Part 2

"The city is ours gentlemen," Charles Renfro raised his glass to his close friends and fellow businessmen.

"Congratulations on having the largest media company outside of New York, Charles," a short man said.

"Soon it will be much more than newspapers, television, and radio," Renfro said. "I have my eye on this lab on the westside. It's not doing so well but this doctor there has a formula that could put it on the map."

"A pharmaceutical lab?"

"Yeah," Renfro answered.

"Criminals," a voice said nearby.

"Wha...?"

"You act all high and mighty but you're just a pack of criminals," the voice continued. All the men pulled out guns. "Gun-toting criminals."

One of the men finally got a good look at who was talking to them and infiltrating their get-together. "It's Magic Man," he pointed out. They all turned and saw the giant blue and white 'M' that had become well-known throughout Chicago.

"He's not bulletproof," Renfro said. They all prepared to open fire but all of the guns were lifted into the air and then were crushed into a ball of metal. Within seconds, the other men were taken out and only Charles remained standing. "Why don't you face real criminals? The Italians and the..."

"You are a criminal," Magic Man said, picking Renfro up. "You act like you are better but you are just as bad. Maybe worse since people expect more from you. They expect you to be a decent person. At least with an actual criminal, you know what you're getting."

A security team came in and saw Magic Man lifting Renfro over his head. "Freeze!" one shouted. "Put him down."

"Certainly," Magic Man said and stepped off the edge of the building. Magic Man and Charles fell to the street below. Magic Man calmly fell while Renfro panicked and went as white as a sheet. Suddenly, Renfro jerked to a stop. He and Magic Man were in midair. Renfro was still panicking and sweating even though he was now being gently lowered to the street. "Are you going to run your companies honestly?"

"Y-Yes," Renfro stammered.

"Are you going to quit bilking and lying to your customers?"

"Yes, yes," he cried.



That night, on the ten o'clock news, Charles Renfro admitted his guilt and that he was selling off his newspaper and television companies and that any and all future acquisitions are cancelled.

"No," Dr. Conner shouted at his house. His phone rang, he ran to pick it up. "Hello?"

"What does this mean?" the voice on the other end growled.

"It means we'll have to go with plan B. There is no way Abell will sell the company now so we'll just have to take it from her," Conner said.

Winnette Abell had just taken over her father's pharmaceutical company, Abell Labs, after his sudden death a couple months ago. The Labs weren't doing great when her father was alive and she was looking at selling so her father's research could at least live on. Now that Charles Renfro was no longer interested, Winnette didn't know what to do now.

Winnette was alone in the lab looking over the numbers. Winnette was schooled as a lawyer so most of this was over her head. She didn't understand the science behind what the lab did but she did understand that it wasn't feasible. Was this place always in the red? Did her father ever turn a profit?

Outside, three men found their way inside. They found Winnette in her office. "Don't worry," one said. "We don't want to hurt you."

They took her to another room while one stayed behind and began setting up explosive charges. Then, to get attention, he set one up at the main entrance to the building and detonated it.

The situation was all over the news in a matter of minutes. Police surrounded the lab and waited for an opening. Silas turned on the radio and heard about the news. He threw on his Magic Man outfit and flew to Abell Laboratories. "What do you know?" he asked someone who looked in charge.

"Three men, one hostage. All the men have guns and said that they've set up explosives. At least one went off," he nodded at the smoldering debris of the entrance.

"Where are they in the building?" Magic Man asked.

"This side," he pointed to the east wing.

"Then I guess I'll go in through the west doors," Magic Man walked over to the lab building. When he got to the door, he created a protective shield around him and then magically opened the locked doors.

He cautiously walked through the lab, listening for sounds of people. He finally heard the muffled sounds of the perpetrators in one of the offices in the east wing. Magic Man listened at the door for a bit trying to decipher their talking.

"Magic Man?" someone exclaimed off to the side. Before Magic Man could do anything, the man pressed a button and one of the explosives went off. It killed the man instantly and pushed Magic Man back.

"I guess the element of surprise is out," Magic Man blew the door off the hinges.

"Magic Man? What's going on?" another man asked.

"Your third partner freaked out and set off an explosion," Magic Man said. Another explosion occurred, bringing part of the wall and ceiling down. "Ms. Abell, are you okay?" Magic Man shouted.

"I think so," she answered loudly.

Magic Man extended his magical shield around Winnette, along with himself, and held out his cape to expand the shield more. The last two explosions went off and buried the four of them in debris. When the dust settled and the police began looking through the rubble, Magic Man pushed his way through the rocks and helped Winnette up.

"Are you still okay, Ms. Abell?" Magic Man asked softly.

"Thanks to you," she smiled at him.

"Head over to the ambulance and they'll make sure," he didn't want to stop looking into her beautiful eyes. "I hope I'll see you around."

"I hope so, too."

Tuesday, February 07, 2017

Comic Comics 214


I'm going to start forgoing titles for Comic Comics posts because most of the time, I can never figure out a good one, a funny one, or a clever one. It's just easier on everyone involved if I just start numbering the posts.

Hi and Lois
I don't get my news from the TV because I don't want to be told how terrible of a place the world is. I don't see it like that and I'm baffled why so many other people do. I prefer newspapers or online where I can a variety of news and disseminate it myself. After the election of Donald Trump, my family even bought subscriptions to several newspapers (including my local one) because we're going to need news now more than ever and outlets like the News-Herald will need all the help they can get.

 Dennis the Menace
Why are you asking what Dennis wants for dinner? It's clear that you have already made dinner and that everyone is sitting down to eat it. You know what I want for dinner? You to quit being a teasing bitch, Alice.

Curtis
So Heart-Throb's first job is only going to last a week. Good to know.

The Amazing Spider-Man
I don't understand why so many outer space villains refer to Earth as being primitive. Look, I'm sorry that we don't have magical tuning forks but at least we aren't constantly at war with every single planet like you guys usually are.

Sunday, February 05, 2017

Incredible Comics #14

Time Man grabbed Adam and pulled him away from Caleb. He lifted him over his head and slammed him into the pavement. “You killed a good man,” Time Man said, hitting Adam, trying to keep him from getting back up.

“I’ve killed many good men,” Adam shouted, trying to block the hits.

“It ends now,” Time Man said. Time Man stood over Adam, breathing heavily.

“And how will you do that? I’ve been around longer than humanity itself,” Adam sneered. “Many have tried and all have failed to put me down.”

“Then I guess I better hope this works,” Time Man pulled Caleb’s watch out and grabbed Adam. Time Man clutched the watch and then pressed a button. Both Time Man and Adam disappeared.




They reappeared in nothingness. Time Man let go of Adam. Both floated in the nothing. “Where did you bring us?”

“If I did it right, the end of time. Soon entropy will engulf us and it may not kill you but it will stop you.”

“It’ll kill you,” Adam said. The darkness began enveloping them.

“I have a way back,” Time Man held up Caleb’s watch. “And if it doesn’t work, I’m comfortable with my decision.”

Adam moved toward Time Man just as he pressed the button again. Time Man disappeared into the darkness, leaving Adam alone at the end of time.




“I should’ve told you,” Harold said as he approached Ellie and Maggie as they sat on the stairs to their apartment building which was now surrounded by police cars and ambulances. “I didn’t know how you would handle it and I thought you would try to talk me out of it. I also thought you not knowing would help protect you. I guess I was wrong.”

“We could’ve died, Harold,” Ellie said, tearing up. “I don’t have a problem with you being a hero, being Time Man, but I need to know so that I can prepare for what could happen. We have a child to think about.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m going to take a break from Time Man for a while,” Harold said and sat down next to Ellie. “In fact, I was thinking of taking some time off from the city as well.”

“Where would we go? What about our life here in Golden City?” Ellie asked.




About four miles south of Duquesne, Iowa, Harold was standing on a ladder hanging a large wooden sign that read “Banner Farm” on a wooden arch that was built at the end of the driveway. Ellie was cleaning the kitchen while Maggie played on the floor in the living room. They had lived at the farm for the last six months and everything was going great. Harold not only did some farming but also took in repair work.

“I got the sign up,” Harold said, coming into the kitchen from outside.

“Are you happy that we did this?” Ellie asked him.

“Yeah, I love this. Are you happy?” Harold returned the question, worried.

“I do like this. We both do,” she motioned to Maggie. “You don’t miss the city? I know how much you liked the city and the fixit shop.”

“I also love small towns and quiet and I don’t need a building just for fixing things,” Harold said. “I’ll be in the reading room for a bit if you need anything,” Harold gave Ellie a kiss on the forehead and went into the reading room, a bedroom that was downstairs. He went over to the desk and slid open a drawer. Inside, was the sundial and Caleb’s watch just in case he ever needed them again.

Big Game Quickies


Zits
Shouldn't the license be laminated or somehow protected to keep things like this (and counterfeiting) from happening?

Crankshaft
Is it because his name is Buzz? If not, I don't get the joke.

Honestly, either way I don't get the joke.

Saturday, February 04, 2017

Cosmo and Roz's Unspoken Love


Shoe
Cosmo was looking for a handjob or something but whatever.

Don't forget that Tauy Creek has a Facebook Page and I post regularly on Instagram.

Friday, February 03, 2017

Luckily It Was the Chicken's Blood, Sweat, and Tears


Beetle Bailey
The way this country treats our military sometimes is just blasphemous.

Family Circus
If you want to inject Jeffy with a lethal dose of potassium chloride and say it's a flu shot or something, no one would rat you out.

Crankshaft
You ungrateful son of a... You and the teacher make a mistake causing yourselves to have to be marooned at the theater and you crap all over it. It's a wonder no one has killed you.

panel from Funky Winkerbean
Speaking of wondering why somehow hasn't killed someone yet, here's Funky and his wife. She's not going to kill him because of the bad joke or the insult to her but because she's not seeking heat so the joke/insult doesn't work.

Hi and Lois, January 29-30, February 2-3



It's clear that the five random people who create Hi and Lois don't talk to each other or even half-assedly concern themselves with even the most basic continuity, right?

Popeye
Wait. Does everybody think this gorilla in a suit is a human being? It's like that episode of The Flintstones where everybody thinks a gorilla is Fred just because the gorilla is wearing the same shirt.

Wednesday, February 01, 2017

I Miss the Middle-Aged Man Who Wrote 'Dear Wendy'


Mary Worth
I'm not an advice columnist and I haven't read anything like Dear Abby or Ann Landers in a very long time but if a person who you have already given advice to keeps writing back, maybe you aren't very good at giving advice.

"I can't decide between two jobs."

"You should make a pros and cons list."

"I made a pro and cons list. Still don't know what to do."

"Well, what do you think you should do?"

"You're bad at this."

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

The Big CC (Comic Comics)


The Amazing Spider-Man
What? What does that mean? Shut up, Peter. You aren't funny.

Funky Winkerbean
!!!

While I think it's kind of a hack job to give the main character cancer after just about everybody else had cancer, I look forward to Funky getting cancer, going through all the stages of cancer, doing what he can to get rid of the cancer only to eventually go into remission and be perfectly fine.

Monday, January 30, 2017

Very Late Night


Barney Google and Snuffy Smith
Well, if Donald Trump can just make up laws, then so can your local police.

Family Circus
Were they holding an intervention for Kitty Cat? Cats don't respond to them. I've tried.

Mark Trail
AAAH! Where'd you come from?! How'd you get out? Back in the crawlspace with you.

Dennis the Menace
It's never a good thing when an older person breaks a bone. Dennis doesn't care. He will loudly whisper about how you may have hurt yourself to his friends and you'll just stand there and take it.

Mother Goose and Grimm

Sunday, January 29, 2017

Still Better Than Today's Mallard Fillmore


Family Circus
This is one of the dumbest things I have ever read or seen. I've looked up these words and I don't see how any of the fake definitions are jokes. A couple, you really have to stretch logic to make the joke fit and the others have nothing to do with the words. It's like Jeff Keane gave a list of words to drunk frat boys and told them to come up with definitions.

Mary Worth
You know, that last panel would make a great tattoo.