I'm Interested In the Warner Bros. Copyright Infringement With 'Not Wile E. Coyote'

Slylock Fox and Comics For Kids

Most of the time the crimes that happen in Slylock Fox are really borderline crimes. The perpetrator would get a slap on the wrist and that's it. But today, Reeky Rat crosses the line from everyday cartoonish villainy to real life villainy as he not only steals an antique dollhouse but also burns it to cook his dinner dispose of the evidence.

Ripley's Believe It Or Not

Was this Hillary Clinton fact submitted by someone in the Trump campaign? I remember when Hillary really started using that "I'm a woman" line in her campaign, numerous people brought up the many women who had run before her. The first woman to run for President was Victoria Woodhull of the Equal Rights Party in 1872. She had no ballot access in any state and it appears that her votes weren't even counted. Since then, there have been numerous women that ran for president but the thing is, we're a two-party system and until Hillary Clinton in 2016, no woman had ever been the nominee of a major party meaning that those women had no hope of coming close to winning the White House. You may not like Hillary Clinton but that doesn't mean you get to soften the historic value of her run for President.

Family Circus

Ha! Joke's on Billy and Dolly. That snake ate all the peanuts thus saving Jeffy from a deadly peanut allergy attack.

Classic Magic #1: Magic Man, Part 1

Silas Bleak and his fiancee, Mary Waldman, walked out of the theater, arm in arm. "Did you enjoy the show?" he asked, as they turned down an alley to get to the next street quicker.

"It was good. I didn't think I would enjoy a western but it was very good," Mary said.

"I know you like dashing heroic men and suspenseful action. I thought you might like it," Silas paused and kissed Mary.

"If I like dashing heroic men so much then why am I with you?" she smiled and held Silas tighter.

"Hands up!" someone shouted from the cross alley. A man came out pointing a gun at Silas and Mary. "Give me all your money. And the lady's jewelry."

"Okay, just a second," they let go of each other and both began removing what the robber demanded. Silas could stop the robber but he couldn't see a good time to do it. "Here," Silas gave the robber what little money he had--about thirty dollars.

"The jewelry," the robber demanded again. He aimed the gun at Mary and Silas saw his opportunity. As Mary took off her necklace, wristlet, and engagement ring, Silas began waving his hand as discreetly as he could. He only got about halfway through his spell when the robber noticed the movement. "What are you doing?" he shouted. "Give me that," the robber forcefully grabbed the necklace and wristlet from Mary and then pulled the trigger to his gun.

Mary's eyes went wide and she slowly fell to the ground. The robber ran away. Silas grabbed Mary and gently cradled her. Silas could stop the bleeding. He could save her life. He at least thought he could. He couldn't move, he couldn't do anything as he watched the life drain from her.




Never again, Silas thought as he worked on his costume. He had been granted this gift of magical powers and it was time that he use it for good. A dark green top, red pants, a red cape, and a wide golden belt and Magic Man was born. He immediately made an impression on the police and the citizens of Chicago. Lowly criminals, gangsters, and other bad guys were brought to justice with the help of Magic Man.

Some though, weren't too keen on a superpowered good guy making it harder. "We need to lure him into a trap," Slicky Solomon said.

"How are we going to do that?" Antony Faustino asked.

Solomon and Faustino were two of the more notorious gangsters that hadn't been caught yet. They rarely talked or worked together but the need to stop Magic Man brought them together in order to formulate a plan.

"It can be something as simple as just luring him into a building, thinking that something is about to go down. Then we ambush him," Solomon said. "Magic Man isn't bulletproof. One shot to the head is all it will take."

"It's so simple, it just might work," Faustino grinned.

Solomon and Faustino sent several of their men out to a factory. The factory was known to have been watched by the police and Magic Man so Solomon didn't use it as much anymore. The men were there for just over an hour and then began making their way to one of Faustino's tenements near Lake Michigan. The tenement remained quiet for several minutes and then Magic Man appeared and landed gently on the roof.

Magic Man opened the door to the stairwell and slowly and quietly made his way down. After going down a couple of floors, he emerged onto a floor and slowly made his way through. It was deathly quiet but the men he saw come in here had to be somewhere. Suddenly, he felt something smash into the back of his head. Magic Man fell to the ground unconscious.

"How is he magic?" someone was asking as Magic Man came to. "Does he have a wand or...?"

"He's waking up," another said.

Magic Man awoke tied to a chair with his arms behind his back. Magic Man began waving his fingers around, the ends of the rope began to dance and untie. No one noticed what was going on.

"Okay, fellas," Solomon said "on my word, you can aim and shoot. Shoot him until there's nothing left to shoot."

The ropes around his wrists were untied and he had to plan this just right.

"Ready. Aim," Solomon sneered and Magic Man braced himself. "Fire!"

Magic Man, along with the chair, lifted into the air as the bullets peppered the area he once was. Magic Man broke free of his binds and then used his magic to heat up the guns to an unbearable temperature and then to start corralling all the gangsters.

The police arrested nearly two hundred from the Solomon and Faustino gang. He felt good about what had happened but the person who killed Mary was still out there. Magic Man would find him though. It was only a matter of time.

Saturday Quickies

Popeye

I don't know about you but this "generation gap/sweetie gap" storyline is getting tiresome. Both Swee'Pea and Olive are treating Popeye terribly and neither deserve him.

Curtis

Or a basketball player. Is that racist? Nah.

Crankshaft

...

All right, that does it for me. I'm out. Today's Crankshaft has broken me. Bye, everyone.

It Was Her Fault for Asking How Mark's Day Was

Blondie

Mark Trail

"I didn't choose the wild and crazy nature writer life, it chose me. I warned you, when you're with Mark Trail, every day is a Jason Statham movie."

Funky Winkerbean

Everybody in the world has some sort of foible. Sometimes it's a foible that someone is just particular about but sometimes it's a foible that the person can't really control. No matter the reason, Tom Batiuk makes his character's foibles mind-blowingly annoying. Always. It's quite a skill when you think about it.

Sarah Planned All of This

Mary Worth

"I'd put him in spam but that would just make him hornier."

Rex Morgan, M.D.

"Things are going so great. Our daughter is probably going to get hit by a car and get amnesia soon. Worry, worry, worry..."

Marmaduke, 5/1/2014
Apparently, this was what the original panel for Marmaduke looked like back back in 2014 right before it was supposed to appear in newspapers across the globe.

And here is what the actually printed panel was.

You can read all about the change here but what I think is cute is that the editors tried to shield us from possible sexual innuendo when it is plainly clear that we don't need to be sheltered from that and are very open to discussing the sexual appetites and proclivities of fictional Great Danes.

Wednesday Evening Quickies

Dennis the Menace

"Due to pending litigation I am unable to talk about it."

Hi and Lois

I can't imagine living my life according to a sunbeam. Constantly in fear that because it's not as warm that the sun is losing energy thus careening closer and closer to freezing to death. Luckily, I'm an adult and know that the sun will continue burning for the next 4 billion years and that we'll die from either a permanent summer, floods, or cancer.

Abbey Is Probably Going To Ask Mark How His Hair Stayed So Calm

Mark Trail

"No, Abbey. I guess you could say that I'm kind of happily married to a woman I see a couple times a year. We also have a kid together. Well, he's really adopted--and an orphan so I guess he's not really anyone's kid. Anyway, I guess I sort of have a family and they make me relatively happy."

Ripley's Believe It Or Not

Every U.S. President with a beard has been a Republican. O...kay? There have only been five presidents with beards, the last one being Benjamin Harrison and he stopped being president in 1895. This is a terrible Believe It Or Not. That star-shaped sand is cool though.

Humans Lost Rights Quickly Under the New Animal Regime

Hi and Lois

The look on Hi's face in the first panel is the best thing so far in the new year. The fact that he's making it as he is declining an offer of sexual abandon makes it even better.

Slylock Fox and Comics For Kids

I swear to god that if some jackass at Westar Energy rats me out and I have to give back the penguins I stole from the zoo that I am currently housing in my basement, I'm gonna lose my freakin' mind!!

Incredible Comics #13

Adam had just about always knew that he was different from the other early homo sapiens. He had outlived his entire tribe by the time he was 35. As the oldest member of his tribe, he set his eyes on a very young tribal girl to marry and mate with. When she, along with her family, rejected him, he killed them all with his bare hands and left the tribe to see what else this pathetic planet had to offer.

He had stopped aging around age 40 and had seen all that time had to offer and now he wanted to conquer it. He watched Time Man and the time traveler arrive at an apartment building. He saw them disappear into a roof access door. He ran inside the building and tried to hear which apartment they went into. He heard talking and a door close but wasn’t sure which one was the one he wanted.

“Ellie, I hope you don’t mind,” Harold said as he closed the door. “I brought someone by for dinner.”

“What? You never do that,” Ellie said, coming out of Maggie’s bedroom. “What’s the occasion?”

“This is Caleb. He’s a...scientist. He came into the store today to ask for some parts.”

“Hello, Mrs. Banner. Pleasure to meet you. Your husband and I have a lot in common.”

“A scientist, huh?” Ellie smiled at him. “What kind of scientist?”

“I, uh, mainly work with timepieces. Always trying to perfect the watch. You know how it is,” Caleb tried to explain.

“Okay,” Ellie kept smiling at him. “I haven’t started dinner so it will be awhile.”

“Do you need any help Mrs. Banner?” Caleb offered.

“What? Why? Please, call me Ellie. Of course I don’t need any help. You boys run off and talk about science-y things. I’ll call you when it’s ready.”

“Here, we can sit and talk in my study,” Harold laughed and showed Caleb two chairs and a small table next to a window. “I do all my reading--books, newspapers, magazines--right here. It’s not much but it does its job. So, what brings you here?”

Quietly, Caleb went through how he created the gauntlet and how it worked. He explained how he had been trying to figure out a way to move through time and that it seemed he succeeded but he wasn’t sure what he did or if it would work to return him to his time. When dinner was ready, the three of them sat down at the table and they got halfway through when Adam smashed his way through the door.

Along with his halted age, Adam also had superhuman strength and quick reflexes. The wood of the door splintered onto the floor. Harold and Caleb quickly got up. The loud noise woke up Maggie in the other room and she began crying. Ellie wanted to tend to her daughter but couldn’t get past her husband and his guest and the man who just smashed through her front door.

“You,” Adam snarled. “You’re the time traveller. I must know how you do it.”

“I don’t think that’s information you need,” Caleb said and readied himself for a fight.

“We need to get him out of my apartment,” Harold said, pulling his sundial out of his pocket and putting it on. His gold and blue uniform and cape appeared, shocking Ellie.

“Harold…? Time Man?”

“I should’ve told you. We’ll talk about it later. I have to get this guy away from here.”

He reached toward Adam, who was still focused on Caleb. Time Man grabbed Adam’s arm and pulled him toward the window. They both smashed through the window, taking some of the wall with them, and fell to the ground, landing hard on the pavement of the street.
“I need to know how he can go through time,” Adam screamed and punched Time Man. “I need to know,” he emphasized.

“To be honest,” Caleb flew down and landed on the sidewalk. “I don’t even know how I did it. But I’m certainly not going to help you figure out time travel.”

“I have lived through millennia and will live through millennia more,” Adam said. “I will find out how to time travel sooner or later and right now, you are my best chance.”

Adam leapt toward Caleb. “If you figured out time travel, wouldn’t you know it by now? Realize that your life is different or get a visit from your future self? Something like that?” Adam’s fist grazed Caleb’s cheek as he dodged the attack.

But Adam’s reflexes were able to quickly turn him around and catch Caleb on his cheek, sending him to the ground. “Caleb!” Time Man exclaimed as Adam continued pummeling Caleb into the ground.

Time Man stopped time with his sundial and ran over to Adam and Caleb. He removed the watch from Caleb’s wrist, pocketed it, and restarted time. He shoved Adam away from Caleb and knelt down to him. “I guess going back in time was a bad idea,” Caleb groaned.
“It’ll be okay. We’ll get you help,” Time Man said.

Adam suddenly landed on Caleb’s chest. Loud cracks and crunches echoes through the street. Caleb’s eyes went wide then closed. “Now I just need to get rid of you, and all of time is mine,” Adam looked at Time Man.

Name-Dropping New Year's

Hey! Welcome to 2017. I'm not going to use the new year to announce any big changes or anything mainly because I didn't think of any. Everything should remain the same as it has over the last year. Two new Story Series will be debuting next month and several titles got new header dress (see above) but nothing new or major to announce. I still have a Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram that you should check out. Hopefully I will use Facebook more but who knows, I barely use my personal Facebook. I also still have a Patreon which I have been having trouble coming up with stuff for. That may be a goal this year. I hope you enjoy what's coming this year, please check out the store, click on some advertisements, and tell your friends about this website.

Crock

One of the things that Bill Rechin and Don Wilder thought was missing from the comics and made a resolution to add more of in 2017 was death.

Hi and Lois

I don't remember any of these happening. Did Brian and Greg Walker just make up a year in review because, let's face it, nothing ever changes in Hi and Lois.

Mallard Fillmore

Suck a bag of dicks, Bruce Tinsley. Suck a bag of dicks.