Sunday, April 06, 2025

Headline News

Brutus and Gladys are walking down the street. For some reason, Gladys is following Brutus about three steps behind him. Brutus slips on a banana peel, flies into the air doing a 180 and falls through an open manhole into the sewer. "Being an insufferable showoff isn't all that funny, Brutus!" Gladys complains and a concussive swirl and star emanate from the sewer.
December 28, 1986
Brutus, fix your neck and get out of that manhole! You're embarrassing Gladys!

Why are they both walking with their eyes closed? And why is Gladys following a few steps behind Brutus? She's not a loyal Japanese wife.

Brutus and Uncle Ted are sitting across from each other. Brutus looks tired and has bags under his eyes. "You don't look so good, Brutus," Uncle Ted says. "I've been dragging all week, Uncle Ted," Brutus sighs. "You look tired. Have you been going to bed and getting enough sleep at night?" Uncle Ted asks. "The problem is I stay up to watch the late news before going to bed," Brutus explains. "Well, that shouldn't be a problem. It's not that late to go to bed." "No, but the problem is once I've watched all the bad stories that are on the news these days, I'm in no frame of mind to sleep!"
News has been pretty bad lately. Between the genocide, ripping the wires out of the walls of our government, costs continuing to go up, the detainments, disappearing, and deportations, and numerous constitutional crises, things seem pretty bleak right now. It's good to know that Brutus has a soul, unlike Republicans and about 77 million American voters. You're all terrible, you know that right? I assume you do since you've all been terrible for about 20 years now. And some of you even longer. You just don't care because it's fun to watch other people get hurt.

I find it weird that the drawers of the end tables are facing the reader and that Brutus and Uncle Ted are sharing the same ottoman.





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