Nickel-Pinching Just Doesn't Sound As Good

January 24, 1967

Just put the paintbrush down? How is what he's standing on working? Is it a little step connected to this table? Can we just not see the legs? I don't think I'd trust that to hold me.

Watercooler's not gonna glub at this one.

I guess we know when this comic was produced. I can't imagine anyone having any opinions worth mentioning on pennies not being made anymore, but Brutus isn't going to let that stop him.

it's cold and the snow is falling and he's standing out there...

January 23, 1967

I feel like the door should've been open anyway. Not just so something like this doesn't happen but mostly for ventilation. I'm guessing there's an open window off-panel.

Not gonna buy Lividea a present?

Why, for the love of all that is holy, is Rancid W. Veeblefester waiting at the bus stop? Is he just keeping Brutus company? That still doesn't answer why Veeblefester is waiting at the bus stop!

Sunday Mid-Afternoon Fights

September 6, 1987

Veeblefester should put his cigar out on Brutus. I don't condone that kind of violence but I'll make an exception this one time.

Is Brutus stalking Veeblefester or did Brutus just happen to wander into the same nice restaurant Veeblefester was eating at?

Okay, first of all, shut up. If Gladys has a problem with the way Brutus is treating her, then she can talk to Brutus about it. Communication is the most important thing in a marriage. Second, what's this about being treated like a queen? What even is that anymore? It's 2025. Third, you know what's really rude? Coming into someone else's house and chastising them over something you aren't a part of and then not even allowing them to explain themselves.

"How dare you yawn..." Well, ya borin' me!

"Missouri John" Thomas went on a shooting spree at two ranches near Maple Hill, Kansas, wounding four and killing 1 because his love was spurned. If you would like to support me or this website, you can click the support page at the top.

Hurricane Hattie Snow Removal Company

January 21, 1967

How did Floyd and Josephine get into that drawer? What were they doing in that drawer?

I feel we're going to see a lot of frogs in these early Wilberforce strips because if I recall correctly, a lot of young boys had "pet" frogs in their TV shows and stories I've read.

Nah, we good, Hurricane.

We have a decent group of kids in our neighborhood and every year I worry they will start knocking on our door to shovel sidewalks, mow, or something else and I'll have to turn them down. They haven't though. They clearly don't know about capitalism and the feeling you get when you do hard, physical labor. Good for them.

Missouri John

On Wednesday night, May 4, 1898, John Thomas hired a horse and rode over to the West Fowler Ranch near Maple Hill in Wabaunse County, Kansas, where he had been employed up to a couple days ago. Thomas had rode to the ranch to see Nellie Brand, with whom Thomas had been sweet on. Supposedly, the other ranch employees, mostly Swedes, joked and insulted Thomas about the affair, the bookkeeper, also a Swede, also vying for the affections of Miss Brand. Thomas, now in a rage, swore he would kill every Swede on the ranch.

Getting into an argument, Edwin Fransen and other ranch employees urged Thomas to leave. When he finally agreed, he opened fire hitting Carl Kinstrom, Nellie Brand, missing the bookkeeper, but fatally wounding Fransen. Thomas then did leave and rode five miles to the East Fowler Ranch where he opened fire again on Gus Carlson, a man named Anderson, and, had he been there like planned, Tom Gristy.

John Thomas then rode, nonchalantly, to Halifax (a small rail town now called Hessdale located at present-day Hessdale and Halifax roads) where he stayed the night and had breakfast with J.B. Crumb. The sheriff was heading east along the railroad so Thomas went west to Alta Vista, meeting and staying with numerous people who had no idea he was wanted for murder.

John Thomas then passed through Volland, Alta Vista, and Dwight before arriving in White City. He then went to Latimer, Herington and them Templin. His last known whereabouts were at Lamb's place on May 17th--a whole 13 days after the shooting in Maple Hill. J.M. Wilkerson, an ex-police chief for the Topeka Police spent weeks searching for John Thomas, also called Missouri John because he had originally come to Kansas from Missouri. Wilkerson suggested that John Thomas was probably an alias and he was, by now, going by another different name.

In June 1898, Topeka Chief of Police Henry Steele went to Missouri on a credible tip that John Thomas was back in Missouri. The man ended up not matching the description. Wilkerson continued to search for Thomas in the western part of the state, but ultimately, John "Missouri John" Thomas was never found.

from the March 4, 1898 edition of the Alma Enterprise

I know someone who needs to be visited by 3 ghosts...not that I think it'll help

Look at this dipshit.

President Trump picks up his FIFA Peace Prize
like he's Swiper the Fox.

January 20, 1967

This is what happens when your houses are made of ticky-tacky and all look just the same. Even the trees are the same.

What I would hate about being in this scenario is that now Brutus has to move his car.

Wilberforce is Tiny Tim?! Is Wilberforce dying? Does Wilberforce have renal tubular acidosis or rickets? Maybe Wilberforce should suggest he's more like one of the Cratchit's healthier children.

And let's be honest, Mother Gargle is not the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come. If you want to insult her, Mother Gargle could be compared to Ignorance or Want. What about the charwoman or laundress who steals Scrooge's things for money after he dies? Do make Mother Gargle one of the awesome ghosts who serve an important purpose.

Thursday Quickies

January 19, 1967

The first name mentioned is Chiang Kai-Shek? Then Yul Brynner? Ok.

Quit worrying about your bald head and work on yourself, Brutus.

Yeah, you're not getting any bonuses this year. Time to take some money to the track or something. Start posting tasteful nudes on social media and linking a Venmo.

Don't take not getting a bonus personally, Brutus. Very few employees get bonuses anymore.

Cattle Is Cattle, Brutus

January 18, 1967

Are necktie--or, I guess, clothing--salesmen always this violent? He's going to try to sell Brutus a second tie and end up strangling him with it. Also, if each tie is $5 then two for $9.98 is not a great deal. Brutus doesn't need a second tie, he barely survived the first...

What's with this sign? "Stamp out sensible shoes"? What?

Buffalo meat is good. I don't know what Brutus' problem is.

I think we're well passed the point of people thinking buffalo wings are actually buffalo. Time to find a new joke about buffalo wings. How about commenting that boneless wings are just chunkier chicken nuggets? Or how...Does this buffalo burger come with a side? Or cheese? Or any condiments? Just a glass of water?

Holiday Spirit

January 17, 1967

My only reference for expensive dresses back then are episodes of I Love Lucy. When the Ricardos and Mertzes went to Hollywood, Lucy wants a Don Loper original. I'd never even heard of Don Loper but he sells his dresses for $500 and even I knew that seemed expensive for 1955. Hell, $500 is expensive for 2025.

That sign says "Frodo lives".

Brutus is hitting the seasonal drinks early and hard this year.

Christmas doldrums is still just a purely Charlie Brown thing. Others may try, but only Charlie Brown can do it just right.

Press 4 for Billing

January 16, 1967

Is she just going around claiming guys are making goo-goo eyes at her so her boyfriend will beat them up or was this just an innocent mistake? Either way, it's not ideal. I'll gladly take a punch for someone I do make goo-goo eyes to, but not just some random trollop who wants to get her jollies.

A 'gaffer' is a word for an old man and has been in use since 1589. Gammer is a word for an old woman, which is even older. So she's having her boyfriend beat up old people.

I looked up 'Roarak' and the first thing that popped up was an adventure-ready clothing store and I was like "Brutus is going on adventures and needs special clothes?!!" but that was 'Roark'. Roarak is just a name. Chip probably just thumbed through a phone book or one lives nearby. I'm more interested in this company having a person specifically for directing calls and not, you know, an automated call tree system.

Oh, Good. Now They're On the Same Page

August 30, 1987

Brutus clearly does not understand how stocks work, but he is at least wanting to sell when it is worth more. Is it going to keep going up? That'd be my question but I understand how the stock market works.

Now, Gladys, you were just saying yesterday that you won the lottery by marrying Brutus and here you are today at each other's throats. I don't like it when you guys fight. Not because of the trauma and anxiety created, but because I never know what's going on.

I took an in-depth look at one of my favorite gravestones yesterday. Elizabeth Uhl, daughter of Floyd and Ethel of the Grove neighborhood north of Silver Lake, Kansas. If you would like to support me or this website, you can do so at the top of the page.

As Long As It's Not Shirley Jackson's 'The Lottery'

January 14, 1967

It appears that Brutus is reading an original children's story created by Art Sansom. I did a quick search the only thing that came up for "Hoppy and Torty" was Roald Dahl's Esio Trot and a retelling of the Tortoise and the Hare from 2024 that looks suspiciously like AI. Anyway, I appreciate creating your own thing especially for what's a throwaway joke.

I now also know too much about hobgoblins.

Finally, some Mother Gargle. We've been threatened with her presence this Thanksgiving for nearly three weeks. And yes, just like those cheap scratch-off ones because obviously I'm not living in the lap of luxury, but won about $10 that I will use to just buy more scratch-off tickets where I win another $10 that I will use to just buy more scratch-off tickets where I win another $10...

Our Daughter

Floyd Rockwell Uhl was born August 24, 1887 in Killbuck, Ohio to Bigham and Hannah Uhl. They made their way to the Rossville-Silver Lake area of Shawnee County, Kansas. They settled in the Grove neighborhood where Bigham constructed and ran a grain elevator.

Their oldest child, Floyd, married Ethel Maude Marsh on November 14, 1910 in Mercer County, Missouri. Ethel was born September 5, 1882 in Fort Scott, Kansas. Her father was Judge John R. Marsh, a Jackson County judge. Judge Marsh would pass away in 1903 after being kicked by a horse. Ethel's mother, Elizabeth Marsh, would pass away in 1912 after a dress she was wearing caught on fire as she was burning trash.

Floyd and Ethel had three daughters. Thelma Nell was born December 15, 1913. She died in 1963 in Cerritos, California. Their third daughter, Eula Belle, was born in 1925. Their middle daughter, Elizabeth, was born January 17, 1917 but died of convulsions on May 2, 1919. She was buried in Silver Lake Cemetery.

A weather-worn gravestone with a little lamb on top marks Elizabeth's burial. Buried next to Elizabeth is her father, Floyd. Floyd died in 1966. Ethel would pass away in 1962 in El Sereno, California and is buried with Thelma in Cerritos.

The Leftovers

How many people have died because Trump is solipsistic, callow, and ruinous?

January 13, 1967

How many sheets to the wind is Agnes, because there's no way a danceable beat is coming from that bass.

It's just me and my wife for Thanksgiving usually so we don't really make anything because we don't want a lot of leftovers. Anyway, while I absolutely miss having a big Thanksgiving meal with family, I do not miss the leftovers that I stop wanting usually a day or two later.

Dog Rules

November 26, 2025

I like how it looks like Jimmy is marching down the street giving everyone the finger. "Fuck you, Westfinster! Respect your God, Jimmy!"

January 12, 1967

The cop pulled him over from the front?

A boulevard stop is apparently when you yield to the traffic on a priority street, like from a smaller street or private drive. I've never heard it called that, but I wasn't born during the Great Depression.

Dog show. I will choose dog show 100% of the time. I hope Kewpie is ready and willing to fight for this dog show, because I am.

Thanksgiving Homework

January 11, 1967

"This side up" "Team lift" "Fragile" No box is going to tell me what to do!

The last few years, my school district has been giving us the entire week of Thanksgiving off. We used to go Monday and Tuesday and get Wednesday through Friday off. That Monday and Tuesday were basically pointless because the kids were ready to leave, some had already left, and you are ending a lesson but reluctant to start a new one. I can't imagine going to school Monday through Wednesday. Why don't they get Wednesday off? Are we really supposed to start our Thanksgiving travels after school lets out at 3:00?

Brutus Is Just That Desperate for Friends

January 10, 1967

Okay. I understand that having a root beer float spill on you isn't ideal, especially since Brutus probably has to go back to work, but no reaction in this strip seem to match the situation. Also, I think Brutus could've easily dodged the spill.

I think we are all in agreement with no employee wants to spend the holidays with their boss and no boss wants to spend the holidays with their employees.

Brutus Vs. Thanksgiving

January 9, 1967

Brutus can't hold his own ashtray or just keep one around? Jesus, some of the bullshit we've put women through makes me question why they continue to be around us and let us live. If I made my wife run over to me so she could catch my cigarette ashes in an ashtray, let's just say that divorcing me would be the nicest thing she would do to me.

I thought Mother Gargle was going to come over last weekend and stay through Thanksgiving? Now, you're going to see her? Or is she staying through Thanksgiving, going home, and then you are going to visit her? Look, I don't really care because we probably won't see much of Thanksgiving anyway, but get the plan straight.

I like the little centerpiece on the table. I've always been a fan of small pumpkins.

One Yard Line

The third month of Art and Chip Sansom's short-lived comic strip Dusty Chaps was published yesterday. The antics at the dude ranch, Dusty Chaps, continue with J.J. Jennings, Ernest McDuff, and about five other regular characters who are yet to be named, somehow. Except for Sally and...Chuck Wagon(?).

Anyway, if you like what you see and would like to support me or this website, you can click the Support link at the top of the page.

August 23, 1987

Thankfully those were the receipts that proved the Acme account was just a money laundering scheme for prostitutes and he's just sleepily talking about making copies. Wait! That's why Veeblefester keeps him around! Brutus is so inept he can "accidentally" get rid of harmful evidence that could bring down the company.

And you know that will be the play of the day on SportsCenter and tonight's news. You can't escape it, Brutus. Might as well just turn off the TV.

Although the score is tied. Is there enough time for the other team to score or will we be going into overtime (that Brutus' team will likely lose in)? Did the quarterback even lose the ball? Why do I even care? It's a fictional football game and I don't even care about real football games. Brutus should just expect his team to always lose.

Meatloaf Memories

January 7, 1967

How(?!!) did the scarf get stuck in the zipper? And you know that scarf isn't coming out of that zipper. Gotta throw that scarf and that dress away.

MY MOTHER WAS A SAINT!!

I love a good meatloaf. I bet even just a little burned, it's still good. I have a frozen meatloaf dinner in the freezer and I'm sure it's not as good as this. I'm glad to see Brutus so happy.