Bowling for Golf

March 1, 1987

I am always a person who says to charge what you are worth. Doctors (and lawyers) are not required to talk to random people about their ailments or lawsuit possibilities. Why would you bill her? No one made you talk to her about her gall bladder. You could've told her to just make an appointment and walked away.

What kind of party is this and why is Brutus here?

Brutus would somehow figure out a way to be bad at bowling, too. Drop the ball on his or someone's foot, throw the ball into the other lanes, somehow jam the ball return mechanism so he doesn't get his ball back. The list of screw-ups is endless.

Hey, the throwaway panels are back.

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One Saturday Morning

July 21, 1966

I'm not cleaning that up. And neither is this guy. I can't tell because it's so dark and this was printed in black and white, but what is this supposed to be? I hope it's not blood.

We ordered a box of syrups and one of bottles had completely emptied into the box. I don't even know how or why the box made it to us. It was clearly dripping syrup. The delivery guy had to carry it upside down but it still left a trail of syrup from street to my kitchen sink. Such a mess.

Are there still Saturday morning cartoons? I don't think there are, even educational ones. I loved watching Saturday morning cartoons, but I also loved sleeping late so I missed them a lot of the time. I was more of an afterschool cartoon person.

Our Darling

MARY ELIZABETH

Dau. of

W.E. & M. SEQUINE

1900 - 1903

OUR DARLING

Mary Elizabeth died of pneumonia at two and a half years old.

I Will Judge This Book By Its Cover, It's Beautiful

July 20, 1966

He clearly got some sort of space disease. He should be lucky his body didn't freeze, depressurize, and his heart explode from being in space and that suit clearly not being safe. I do hope this is more of a disease situation and not a chest-burster situation, because then both these men are dead.

Is Hurricane Hattie going to read the classic Caldecott Medal-winning children's tale about the passage the time and slight commentary on urban sprawl called "The Little House" by Virginia Lee Burton? That book may not be very long (about 40 pages) but you could write a dissertation on the themes and nuances in the illustrations.

Keeping Brutus Alive One Sandwich At a TIme

July 16, 1966

"I also leave you...a boot to the head! And one more for Jenny and the wimp!"

He made wagers? Like, actual wagers with real money? "My uncle is such a skinflint, he'll never leave me money when he dies." I can't tell if Brutus wasn't going to be left money because his uncle was cheap or if Brutus was unlikeable, because the other two seem really happy he's just getting an umbrella.

They're eating sandwiches. The ham can't taste much different. And who sprinkles salt on their sandwich? Look, I don't want to impugn Chip's creativity, but this seems like something written by AI. "I need a low sodium diet. But this doesn't taste good. Put salt on it. Bleep bloop."

Look Good, Feel Good

July 15, 1966

It's good to know that men have been the worst since the beginning of time. I'd watch your back, Eve. Adam is clearly up to something. He's going to ruin paradise for everyone!

I'm glad that Gladys feels better about herself, I wish we could see the difference. I guess she just keeps the same style, just cuts off the split-ends. Having a clean and fresh haircut does feel good, when you think about it.

Almost Forgot Quickies

July 9, 1966

Huh. It's an early Belle Batsfrey.

Veeblefester sure loves his metaphors.

You Could Also Just Stop Playing

July 8, 1966

I am constantly carrying trays of food and dishes and I've never dropped them--no matter how impressively loud my kid was coming home from school.

What were you even doing? Cleaning up your social club's tea party you had earlier?

Stop hitting the ball twice as much as you have to? I don't have any good golf advice, a lot of what I see about golf is just hit the ball hard toward where the hole is. I don't know. Have you tried doing that, Brutus?

Another Dollar Lost

Before we get started on today's Born Loser strips, just pointing out that summer is among us so I am out of work for the next couple of months. If you enjoy what pops up here, you can click on the Support link at the top of the page and support me or the website.

If you didn't see, there's a new post about my arch-nemesis, Capt. Kid. He says he knows famous actress Not Rita Hayworth because he's a liar and needs to seek therapy.

February 15, 1987

If this happened today, Brutus would've been beaten by the other restaurant patrons and arrested. Ha ha. We're living in a terrible timeline.

And Brutus, you're fine. No need to be embarrassed or worried. No need to make a federal case out of going into the wrong bathroom. It's 1987, not 2025.

"He says whatever I tell him to say." "I was with Hurricane Hattie at whatever time you say the crime happened. You can't pin this on her, pigs!"

You taught Kewpie to talk? You were only gone 15 minutes.

Driving Faster Than Sound

July 1, 1966

Men, amirite?! But seriously, men suck. What is your stupid bowling bowl doing under the table. Put it in a closet or the garage or something. It's not even in a bag! How many times did Gladys and Fifner stub their toe on it as they ate dinner?

I like the bright colors in today's...WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THE SPEECH BUBBLE!!??! How does a mistake like that even happen? It's going off-panel, which leads me to ask what the original panel looked like or who does the speech bubbles? I swear to God if it's AI...

It's clear that Brutus is the better golfer, right? Knowing how Veeblefester is, it's not prudent to beat him at something. Although I would argue that it's prudent to beat him with something.