Halloween Quickies

February 23, 1977

"Tell me all about him!"

"No! He's all mine!"

The Thornapples having friends is such a weird concept. Maybe 'friends' is too generous. 'House adjacent acquaintances' maybe?

Hattie is bringing the witch look back. She hasn't been a witch since 2018. 2018 was also the year Wilberforce went as another version of Superman--Kong Kenan, the Super-Man of China to be exact.

Toe of Frog Seems Really Difficult To...Harvest?

February 21, 1977

Food doesn't have to be attractive for us to eat it. It's a lobster and those aren't very pretty to look at anyway. And if you are just body shaming this lobster, I'm not on board with that either!

She's not joking. The stew really has all that. Someone should call the board of health.

I'm imagining that those bats are not decorations but real bats just hovering and flying right there behind Brutus.

Good Trick

 

I haven't been paying attention but I guess The Born Loser takes place in an alternate universe where there is not a pandemic going on. "I'm gonna draw masks on all my characters," Chip screams as he continues to draw characters roughly a foot away from each other.

Did Hattie trick or treat on Halloween and she's just trying to get a second round of candy or did she skip Halloween in an attempt to maybe get candy that's going to be thrown out?

Post-Halloween Candy Theft

Hey, mom, Wilberforce did all the work to get that candy so why do you think you deserve any of it? You're an adult and have money so if you want some candy then just buy yourself some. Quit taking candy from babies.

Shadow of the Owl

Kudos to Wilberforce for being Superman. Most kids pick Batman because, well, he's the most powerful superhero ever created and he's rich but Superman is the more honorable choice. Yeah, I said it. I don't care. Fight me.

It's a shame we couldn't get Hattie as Wonder Woman. That would've been cool but, well, you know, she's poor.

Comic Comics #218: Horror From the Tomb

Horror From the Tomb was published with a September 1954 cover date by Premier Magazines. It clearly used it's most outrageous and anti-Wertham stories in this issue. Starting with issue 2, it would be retitled Mysterious Stories and would feature less blood and gore and with issue 3, it would code-approved and lean more toward odd stories and comedic horror parodies. Click to enlarge the pages.

The Werewolf of the Alps
by George Woodbridge and Angelo Torres

Is it just me or does this ending feel like a cop-out? A werelion? Really? Also, none of these people are dressed like they are going mountain climbing. I love how the werewolf is shaking his fist in the last panel. "Curse you, irony! Curse you! I...die..."

Revenge from the Grave

It's amazing how easy it is to break out of a grave in stories. Does becoming undead make you stronger? You are in a pretty well made wooden box six feet underground. I don't even understand how it works nowadays considering dead people are now put in a concrete vault in many places.

If you notice, what we are led to believe is a good guy, is really a bad guy. The corpse hates Roger because he's too honest and he died of HAPPINESS!?! Roger Barton was clearly too pure for this world.

Absent-Minded Professor
by Cal Massey and Jack Abel

Let's be honest, haven't we all dated a gelatinous blob held together by fake body parts at some point in our lives?

Wait. Did the professor strangle the dog or break its neck? Either way, he killed it. "You better look away"? I don't know of any woman these days who would be okay with a guy killing a dog while on a date no matter how dangerous it seemed.

The Bone Man
by Mannie Banks

And this is why you don't make people who work in a museum upset. They will kill you and somehow display you in the museum.

One this I love about this story is that there is an ad right after it for a rosary with beads filled with water from the fountain in Lourdes. You finish reading a story where a guy kills half a dozen people and melts the skin off their bones and then you can get yourself a rosary for five bucks. Perfect!

Off With the Head

Speaking of how easy it is to dig your way out of a coffin six feet underground, heads just pop off willy-nilly don't they? Just apply a little pressure and *POP* head comes off.

You Can't Keep a Good King Down
by George Woodbridge and Angelo Torres

For some reason, this reminds of the episode of Bob's Burgers where the kids explore the abandoned taffy factory and find men made of taffy that were made to protect the taffy owner's money from the government.

The skeletal remains also remind me of one of the bosses in the Nintendo game "Ikari Warriors."

We're Gonna Pants So Many People

You can do both. Take the candy that the people offer you and then burn down their house. Hilarious childhood fun!

I hate when people ask for a trick. When I was a kid, my mom gave me a joke to tell. I could never remember the joke and still don't to this day. Only one person has ever asked me for a trick. I couldn't think of anything so fell into the fetal position in a puddle of my own urine. Then he gave me a box of raisins.

Hattie-Ween

Hurricane Hattie is going to put on a blue suit that is just slightly too big for her, a bright red tie, and hair that looks like Wilberforce's and wander around the neighborhood going "I have the best. Costume. Of them all. Believe me when I say it is the best. No other costume comes close to this one. Wilberforce as Crooked Hillary is just sad" all while making inane hand gestures.

At least Hattie's hands are the right size.

The Big Pumpkin Sur-Prize

We'll continue with this story and find out who is behind the vandalized pumpkin in a moment but first this blast from the past. An Archie comic strip from 1947 and some rather...unusual language.

"It gets kind of butthole at times"? This is an unedited Archie comic strip from April 2, 1947. The odds of 'butthole' being slang is very slim so this may be the work of an artist or letterer trying to have a little fun or a draft no one was supposed to see that ended up in rotation. Either way, there is an Archie comic out there with Archie calling a job 'butthole'.