A Drum Minor

Let's get back to Captain Kid. From Comic Comics #6, September 1946. I don't understand Capt. Kid's deal. What were creators thinking when they created him? Did they have a deadline to create a certain number of characters and were just like "annoying piece of shit who's not good at anything...and he's dressed stupid"?

Today, Capt. Kid says he's a drum major. I'm sure he'll fail.

🠜 If Capt. Kid can't swim then why was he on the water. In a small boat. Alone? It's a shame Jetsam Joe will drown along side Capt. Kid. Jetsam Joe doesn't deserve that.

I hope whatever Pudgy is going to spit at Capt. Kid shatters his skull and kills him.

Why can't Capt. Kid wear normal clothes? Everyone else is! I'm not a dress code guy, but I would definitely send Capt. Kid home and tell him not to come back until we can't see his nipples anymore. And we will see them a lot in this story.

I love how Mr. Whoever-This-Is just ignores Capt. Kid. I'm sure a lot of adults do that.

Can the rest of the comic just be this black-and-white film focused on a drum major?

*satisfied sigh* Oh, yeah, that's the good stuff.

"Here's a book so that you can practice doing something you've never done before in your life."
"Throw it out!"

Mr. Whoever-This-Is should ask for a backup. Surely he can find or buy another baton, and Capt. Kid threw the instruction book away.

*mutters and grumbles* ...shove that baton somewhere...

Ha ha! Let's see that again...

I'm not a drum major, never played a drum--or any instrument--or did anything with a baton, but I do know that if you have to run after your baton, you threw it wrong.

Ha ha! Get wrecked, dork!

Get that out of my face!

Quick! Someone toss a stool where his head is going to fall!

He's not going to hurt himself falling onto the vague yellow void.

I don't think this magnet thing is going to work. Actually, it will probably work, even though it shouldn't.

He better be or this is going to be a crappy parade. At least the drummers will be good. We can just ignore whatever Capt. Kid is doing.

He can't just bend over and pick it back up? This kid is a failure in everything.

Do the thing, Capt. Kid...

Ha ha! Get wrecked, dork!

OH MY GOD! He's getting trampled by the drumline! Capt. Kid has failed and wasn't rescued by dumb luck! 🥳💃🎈🎉

Capt. Kid "Sees Stars"

It's time for another installment of Captain Kid. Captain Kid wears stupid clothes, has stupid hair, and is stupid.

Today's comic has Captain Kid lying about knowing a famous movie star. Coincidentally, that movie star is passing through town so will Captain Kid have to own up to his own lying and go to therapy, or will everything end up hunky-dory and Captain Kid will end up the Pope of Chilitown again?

Today's comic comes from Comic Comics #7 and is written and drawn by Al Liederman, who was a normally a gag cartoonist for various newspapers and magazines from 1932 to 1939 and then assisted Jack Kirby and Joe Simson from 1941 to 1942. He worked in comic books from 1941 until about 1971.

Capt. Kid is a lying son of a bitch!

You lying son of a bitch!! At least the comic is over. What? It's not? That's for the movie they're watching in the comic? Sigh. Ok.

Rita Straworth would not waste any energy on knowing Capt. Kid. Unlike me.

Say "Rita Straworth is a busy Hollywood actress. I'm sure the studio will have some sort of party for her. And I'm sure her schedule in this town will be completely full."

Gee, you've never even met Rita Staworth, Capt. Kid? You've never met her? Huh. What a surprise.

I love the cut of Pudgy's jib. Pudgy is the short kid who's clearly tired of Capt. Kid's bullshit.

And yes. Yes, he would lie to you.

Yeah, I'm sure they will let you get up close and personal with Rita Straworth.

You're caught in lies all the time and they continue to talk to you. Honestly, I feel this is all on them at this point. They are clearly enabling you and are a part of the problem.

"If you try to sneak in again, we'll kill you!" *tries to sneak in again* I've never been more happy at a decision Capt. Kid has made.

This guy seems pretty cool with just letting some random kid (dressed like this) go up to a famous person's room for $5. If something happens, it's on you, dude!

Rita Straworth doesn't have someone in the room with her? And she has people at the bottom of the stairs, but not outside the door? It's almost like the studio wants something to happen to her.

Yeah! Plug him!

Quick! Pull the trigger!

*Sigh* Now he'll probably be proclaimed a hero and get a parade or something.

They hit their heads. That's definitely gonna hurt.

Honestly, I feel getting Rita Straworth to go to the party is more frustrating for Capt. Kid haters than being a hero and getting a parade.

Oh, Pudgy...I wish I could tell you how wrong you are, but sadly, I cannot.

Same, Pudgy. Same.

Captain Kid Gets Bumped Off

It has been 6 long years since Captain Kid and I crossed paths and since then, the world has gotten darker. Hmm. I think I figured out why everything is terrible.

Anyway, Captain Kid is finally killed off in this story. Unfortunately, he's not stoned or hanged by the townspeople like he is in my dreams but shattering vertebrae in his neck and then being repeatedly trampled by a horse is good too.

I hate when comic writers write in accents. Sometimes it's done well but most of the time they just rush through and just pick things that sound like an accent. At least this is a cowboy accent and not something racist.

Does Captain Kid live in Texas or is this just the town's Texas-ish rodeo?

"And look where the hat lands!" Even the narration box is sick of Captain Kid. "Look where the hat lands! On this dumpster fire of a kid! On this festering sore of society! On this reason why abortion should be legal, accessible, and safe!"

Why does the hat blow away but the posters just fall to the ground?

Yeah, and it goes great with your outfit🙄

Even his "friends" are sick of his shit. These kids probably only hang out with Captain Kid because they hope to see him die and to see what kind of absolutely pointless lies he can make up.

Seriously, he doesn't need to lie here. He just does. For no damn good reason!

I like Pudgy. I like the cut of his jib.

Wait. Is this how he dies? Severe brain damage? Whatever. I'll take it.

I hope he doesn't do anything perverse to the body. That's where I draw the line.

Telling me that nothing will happen to me if I take it easy doesn't exactly make me want to take it easy.

Son of a bitch!

Hear! Hear!

Thousand dollars. Your death. Win-win either way.

Even the tamest horse at the rodeo bucks people off? No matter the horse, Captain Kid is a goner.

I refuse to abbreviate Captain Kid's name like the comic does.

Thunder-Lightening has nearly killed EastEnders actor Jake Wood.

Or maybe Mad Money's Jim Cramer.

Maybe a bald Sean Gunn?

That horse can practically jump over that fence! Yes, what would he do to the person who rides Thunder-Lightening? What. Would. He. Do?

What stupid plan is Captain Kid concocting? I was promised his death and I am going to see him die.

Oh, good. Captain Kid hung those posters (for some reason) and is just to get his death over with. No sense prolonging it.

Why are you feeding this horse oats and tabasco? Maybe Thunder-Lightening is so mean because you are feeding him tabasco.

No. No! He could still die! The title of this story is blantant false advertising! He's neither bumped off (killed) or bumped off (the horse)!

Is that horse sweating?

So I guess this guy hasn't been saving out $1,000 every year just in case someone actually won. Love that his plan for that is to just skip town yet he was worried that Captain Kid's death would be bad for the rodeo.

Yes, that horse is sweating.

That horse is very sweaty.

Captain Kid used the poster glue to glue his ass to Thunder-Lightening's saddle because not only is he a liar, but a cheater as well. Maybe his skin will absorb some of the glue and he'll die of glue poisoning or that thing where your pores are clogged and you suffocate.

Well, at least Captain Kid is getting run out of town. That's something, I guess.

He's a phony! A big, fat phony!!

Huh. Horses do sweat.