Watch This Space

Bill Wallace 1947-2012

2012-01-30T18:55:00.001-06:00

Bill Wallace, one of my favorite children's authors who wrote Beauty, A Dog Called Kitty, Snot Stew, Totally Disgusting and Coyote Autumn, has passed away. He was one of the many authors who inspired me to be a writer and really got me into reading. He will be remembered.

You can view more of his books, along with his wife's, on their website.

He's Also Drunk

2012-01-30T11:00:00.011-06:00

How many of you like the TV series Arrested Development? Then you should read part one of my story "Suicidal Tendencies" over at Liberty. I tried to write it in the same documentary style and the same type of humor. "Suicidal Tendencies" is the story of Daniel Judge who is tasked with having to bring his family back together when his grandmother reveals she's going to commit suicide. It may sound kind of dark and depressing but I promise you, it's not.

Like I do with most of my stories, I wrote "Suicidal Tendencies" out by hand in a notebook but for some reason, most of the first chapter went missing so the, if I may say so, really good funeral scene was gone but I had it typed out and saved so I wasn't too worried. But then, the flash drive I used to save my stories went all...stupid erasing everything I had saved on it. I attempted to retype it but just couldn't get the funeral scene the way I wanted it so I put it away and moved onto something else. But then, I began going through some of my other drives and disks and, on a mini SanDisk I used for a phone I stopped using about four years ago, I found a saved copy of "Suicidal Tendencies."

I originally didn't want to post "Suicidal Tendencies" this soon, I wanted to promote it before publishing it but my lack of writing caused things to change for Liberty #31 and 32. So go check it out. I hope you like it.

To be fair, Brutus stopped working years ago so Veeblefester really shouldn't be surprised.

I Was Born On the Mean Streets of Bloomfield Hills, Michigan

2012-01-29T11:00:00.001-06:00

It's kind of nice to learn that Veeblefester worked his way through the muck to become the tea cozy magnate he is now but I don't buy it. I think by "few means" Veeblefester really means his family was making between $100-250,000 and so wasn't able to get his son an office job and had to start in the mail room.

I would've had Brutus say something in the next to last panel. Something like "His rise to the top really is remarkable...now if he could just do something about his breath." But what do I know? I'm not the writer and artist of a 45 year old legacy strip.

Yes, Put This In Your Mouth

2012-01-28T17:40:00.001-06:00

So I guess all doctors shove things in mouths and then expect you to talk about your symptoms and/or your day. Or this guy really isn't a doctor which is what I am putting my money on.

No Snuggling Zone

2012-01-27T12:00:00.002-06:00

All the Republican presidential candidates have been talking about when they get into office that one of the first things they are going to do is repeal Obamacare or, more accurately and less insultingly, the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act. My question is, how do they plan on repealing it? They make it seem like they will just introduce another bill that effectively undoes the process but I know there are several things in the bill that both Democrats and Republicans like so those things are likely to remain. But my bigger question is, the United States Supreme Court is scheduled to hear the case on whether PPACA is Constitutional or not starting March 2012. What if they uphold it? What if they decide that it is Constitutional that the federal government make sure that the citizens of the country are insured? Has there ever been a Supreme Court decision that has been overturned by the Legislative branch on a decision that hasn't been deemed outmoded? I know a lot of Republicans promise to get Roe v. Wade overturned but most people consider a Supreme Court ruling the definitive answer until the case makes its way back to the court for some reason.

And even if the Supreme Court says PPACA is unconstitutional, that doesn't get rid of it. I feel all of the candidates are overstepping their bounds by saying they will repeal the PPACA because that is essentially saying that the American people are stupid and they don't know how a bill becomes a law no matter how many times they watch Schoolhouse Rock.

I also feel they overstep their bounds when they promise to get Americans back to work. The President doesn't create jobs.

I love this. I love to cuddle up with my wife in the car but it's hard to do because both of our cars have consoles in the middle. Clearly that's not the problem here and Gladys no long snuggles (Brutus hasn't moved!) because she now finds her husband just awful. She just doesn't know it yet.

Brutus Loves a Raging Clue

2012-01-26T11:00:00.004-06:00

I love reading. But I tend to never borrow other people's books because I don't know when I'm going to read. I could read it within the next month or I'll have the book for over year. Same with movies. I still have a copy of X-Men 3 my best friend loaned me a year ago.

And it is wrong that when Veeblefester mentioned The Hardy Boys that all I could think of was this:

It's Because Brutus Uses a Fork to Eat His Burger

2012-01-24T11:00:00.001-06:00

I am always up for some really good hamburgers but I will admit that I would be a little leery eating at a place called Bodacious Burgers--especially in Ohio. But don't get me wrong. I am sure the Bodacious Burgers in Sedona is amazing.

Lum-De-Lum-De-Lie-Ay

2012-01-23T11:00:00.003-06:00

I used to have it, then they changed what it was. Now what I'm with isn't it and what's it seems weird and scary.

You should be glad that Brutus is walking around singing "Lum-de-lum-de-lie-ay" and carrying a banana while still fully clothed. Usually the shirt or pants are the first things to go.

I'm Here All Week

2012-01-22T11:00:00.002-06:00

"I don't have any trouble using one hand after you say 'no' to me, Gladys! And that is one area where I am ambidextrous, so there!"

Say It Ain't So

2012-01-21T15:45:00.001-06:00

As you may have seen on my Twitter, I had a dream a couple nights ago where Mitt Romney was trying to defeat me for a political office. I blame this on all the debates, caucuses, primaries and random news I have been reading about the GOP candidates. I'm not really sure what office we were running for, I want to say mayor or something but what was really weird was that I wasn't actually running for office. Mitt, as far as I could tell, was running unopposed but kept trying to drag me into debates and showing up at my house and airing attack ads about me.

Mitt was doing a news conference and said "I would bring jobs and businesses to the city and if I had to, move them brick by brick to relocate them here. My opponent wouldn't do that. He would rather pay businesses to not move here and, in some cases, go somewhere else." Meanwhile, I'm at home screaming at the TV "I'm not running! Where would I get this money to pay these companies not to move here! How do you know who I am?!"

Are Brutus and Gladys finally going to get that divorce that's been hovering over their head the last five years of their marriage? At least their divorce is expected, unlike these two's divorce:

Stull #25

2012-01-20T15:00:00.101-06:00

It was early morning and Frank was already at the Society entering information into the computer. Frank woke up about two hours ago after a nightmare. Frank never went back to bed after a nightmare.

He left a note for Lana, who was still asleep at his place, explaining he was at work. Frank was currently working on a history of Brothel, Ohio, a small town located about a few miles south of Tontzville. On the surface, Brothel was a simple agricultural town with a shocking name but most of the buildings in the central business district were associated with prostitution.

For a little more than a year, Brothel was allowed to operate normally. But then Tontzville began interfering and wanted the town to shut down. Then, one day in April, the town was burned. The fire was put out but nothing was salvageable. It was soon discovered that all the prostitutes had been murdered and left in the buildings to burn.

It was never discovered who killed the girls, the town was dismantled and forgotten. Frank finished typing and read over what he had written before saving it.

The lights and computer then flickered and shut off. There was a loud rumbling and a series of small explosions followed. The glass in the Society's windows and door shattered and pictures fell off the wall. Frank could hear car alarms in the distance. He got up from his chair and went outside. The stairs to the Society were broken and he could see what looked like a fire just a few blocks away.

Frank took his phone and dialed 9-1-1. After one ring, an operator answered. "Yeah, I'm in Stull and I think there's been an explosion."

"Sinkhole"
The sun was now just sitting over the horizon. It seemed as if every deputy in the county was in Stull, every reporter and just about every citizen and firefighter were standing around the massive hole that had formed along 5th Street destroying much of the town between Ohio and Walnut Streets.

Frank, Katie, John and Lana stood near the sinkhole as well, looking at all the rubble and destruction. "So weird. It almost looks like someone dug underneath the town," Frank said, looking into the hole. "It looks like one elaborate tunnel under here."

"Well, whatever caused it, it destroyed Stull's main road, about a dozen houses, two churches and the ruins of the Old Stull Church," Katie said.

"It also damaged a lot of buildings downtown, including the Society," Frank said. "Is the house okay?" Frank asked Lana, pulling her closer to him.

"Some stuff fell off the wall but I think the house is fine," she replied.

"That is a giant hole! Is everyone all right?" Detective Bilko exclaimed as he and Caitlin approached the group.

"We're all fine. The Society is fine and our houses are fine," Frank said. "Look at this. It's like the ground underneath the city was excavated. Doesn't it look like there are tunnels running underneath?" Frank kneeled down and pointed this out to Detective Bilko.

"But who would do something like that?" Bilko asked. "And didn't they know tunneling would weaken the structural integrity of the ground above? I'm not seeing any evidence they used reinforcement for the tunnels."

"I'm going to get permission to go down there and solve this mystery," Frank said.

"Where are we heading?" John asked as he, Katie and Caitlin drove down a country road in rural Neave Township, just southwest of Tontzville.

"Frank was looking through a box of photos and found a picture of a lost cemetery. Well, actually he found a picture of a lost cemetery's sign," Katie grabbed the picture that was on the dashboard.

John looked at the photo. It was an older black and white picture of a wooden sign with the woods 'Harbour Cemetery.' "So if the cemetery is lost then where are we going?"

"Frank's pretty sure he found it. He found out that the cemetery was bought by a church in 1865. The church closed in 1899. Frank found a newspaper article from 1917 about 'the old St. Benedict Catholic Church' that had a small adjacent cemetery and using maps from back then and now he was able to find the location of St. Benedict Church," Katie explained.

Katie pulled the car over on the side of the road next to a clearing that was flanked on one side by trees along a creek and tilled farmland. The clearing had a dense thicket of trees in the southwest corner.

John, Katie and Caitlin got out of the car and looked at the clearing. "It doesn't look like anything's here..." Caitlin said.

"Doesn't mean there isn't," Katie said. She kneeled down and began taking pictures of the field and trees. She stood and began walking into the clearing. She noticed a couple of concrete slabs and decent-sized rocks lined up in the ground. "I think this is it. The two slabs and these rocks are lined up in three even rows indicating possible burials."

"She's been hanging around Frank way too long," Caitlin whispered to John, who nodded.

They wandered around the cemetery, taking note of all the rocks placed in the ground and the one actual headstone nearly covered by the earth.

"Are we done yet?" Caitlin asked, after they had been there about half an hour. "We have plenty of proof that a cemetery is here and have several dozen pictures. What more do we need?"

"There's something in these trees." Katie said. "It looks like a building."

They walked over to the thicket of trees and saw what they were hiding.

"The ruins of the old church," Katie said and began taking more pictures.

Only three walls were still standing and even those were just partially intact. The church had been closed and abandoned since 1899 and the elements had taken their toll. The foundation was still intact but it was partially covered by dirt making it difficult to discern how big the church was.

"What are you three doing here?" said someone behind them. They all looked to see a man standing near them, pointing a shotgun at them.

Frank stood at the edge of the sinkhole with Detective Bilko and two firemen who volunteered to go with him into the hole. "Thanks for doing this with me," he said.

"You can't go down there alone," Bilko said.

"I'm sure you'd have more volunteers if we knew the hole was stabalized," one of the firefighters said.

"Well, I appreciate you all going down there with me."

The four men were tethered together and Frank led the way down into the sinkhole. All four were amazed by what they saw beyond the rubble. There were buildings built into the earth that held up a layer of dirt and above that dirt was water lines and sewer pipes.

"Oh my God! There is a city underneath Stull!" Frank exclaimed.

As the four climbed down from the rubble, several people came out of the buildings including one Frank recognized immediately.

"Jen!" Frank attempted to run to her but the other three kept him held back. "Are you okay? Are you hurt? I've missed you so much!"

"I'm fine, Frank. The Comchau would never hurt anyone," Jen said and she and Frank hugged.

"The Comchau? I thought they were all extinct, so to speak."

"After our village was burned and our land taken, the Comchau went underground where we were allowed to prosper without white man interference," explained one of the Comchau.

"Why did you take Jen?" Frank demanded.

"To lead you down here. Had we known that wouldn't have worked then we would've just waited for the sky to fall," the Comchau motioned to the rubble.

"Why were you trying to lead us down here?" Bilko asked.

"Like the people of Rock Creek, we are taking our leave," the Comchau replied. "This Earthly plane no longer offers the kind of life we deserve so we must evolve."

"Where are you going?" Frank asked.

The Comchau smiled. "Take your friend and leave."

"Okay. We're gonna get Jen to the surface but we'll be right back," Frank said. "Come on, Jen. Let's get you above ground."

The five of them made their way back up to the surface where Jen was looked at by paramedics. Frank and the others quickly explained the Comchau and more than just four went down into the underground city.

But all they found were the buildings and no sign of the Comchau. "They were able to leave all in a span of ten minutes?" Frank asked. "It isn't possible..."

"This is an extraordinary archeological discovery..." someone said. "And they lived here for over 160 years? Marvelous. The universities will be clamoring to excavate this."

"Then they better submit their proposals to the Rock Creek Township Historical Society," Frank quickly interjected.

"Let's just take it easy," Katie said as she walked over to the man with the gun with her hands up. "I'm Katie. This is John and Caitlin and we're from the Rock Creek Historical Society."

"Rock Creek?" the man lowered his gun. "That's a ways away. Why are you here?"

"We were getting pictures of the cemetery and church. We usually try to get landowner permission but I guess we dropped the ball on that," Katie said.

"Sorry about the gun. I'm Jerry Hey. I own the cemetery land and the surrounding farmland," Jerry introduced. "How'd you know there was a cemetery here?"

"We found a picture and using old maps and newspaper articles figured out where it might be. We were glad to see the cemetery was still around."

"When I bought this land back in the '70s, I attempted to preserve the church and cemetery but no one cared. In 1977, someone set the church on fire so I took down the cemetery sign and stopped bringing attention to it. I've always been kind of proud that I was the only one keeping this cemetery from being completely lost," Jerry said.

"Well, if you wouldn't mind, I'm sure our boss..."

"He's not our boss," John said.

"...would like to help you out in caring for both the cemetery and the church," Katie offered.

"It was a pretty productive day," John said.

"A good day for the Society," Frank said. "I'm so glad that the state agreed the sinkhole and the Comchau underground city should be under our jurisdiction."

"It probably didn't hurt that you offered money to rebuild and realign the county road that was destroyed by the sinkhole," Katie said.

The front door opened and Jen came into Frank's office. "We will see you both tomorrow. Good night, Frank. Welcome home, Jen," John said as he and Katie went to leave the office.

"Thanks, John. It's good to be back above ground," she replied.

Frank and Jen sat alone in silence for few minutes before Frank spoke, "So what brings you here?"

"I broke up with Chris," Jen revealed.

"Oh, that's too bad. Not that I'm horribly upset about it or anything," Frank said.

"I was wondering if I could stay with you for a few days since I don't have a place anymore," Jen said.

"Yeah, I don't care. Have to tell Lana about it, though," Frank said.

"Oh yeah. You're with Lana now."

"Yeah. We got back together, much to Katie's chagrin," he chuckled.

"Well, just so you know, while I was down with the Comchau, all I could think about was you. All I wanted was to be in your arms," Jen revealed. "And now you are with someone else."

"It just happened, Jen. While you were gone, all I wanted to do was hug you but I couldn't. Then Lana came back and it just seemed right that I be with her. But now that you are back and I can touch you and hold you and look into your amazing eyes, there is nothing I want more than to kiss you," Frank revealed.

Jen looked down at the floor. "We should probably get home," she said.

"I agree. We can continue this conversation later," Frank stood up and stretched.

As they headed out the door, Jen placed her hand on Frank's back. "Where's Matt?" she asked.

"I have no idea," Frank laughed.

No. Not Even Close

2012-01-20T11:00:00.001-06:00

You know what's interesting about this? This joke hinges on the fact that Phoenicians and Phoenix begin the same way when spelled but when actually pronounced, it's Foe-nee-shuns and Fee-nix, not Fee-nee-shuns or Foe-nix.

What I want to know is how many people in Phoenix actually call the old people there "Ancient Phoenicians."

Four Years, One Day

2012-01-19T12:55:00.001-06:00

Did everyone survive Blackout Day? I got a bit of writing done but unfortunately I still had the TV which meant I paid extra attention to what was playing on Cartoon Network. I really like that show "The Amazing World of Gumball." I do feel they show Johnny Test way too much and it's such a loud and seizure-inducing show.

I'm pretty sure your employer can't speak to you in that way but if they can I'd be more up for being yelled at by being called a nincompoop or birdbrain instead of a feeble-minded horse testicle or something like that.

Workplace Gnomes?

2012-01-17T15:00:00.003-06:00

Sweet Christ it is! Probably because the home offices of Veeblefester Incorporated were built on an Indian burial ground. What's more horrifying is that Veeblefester purposely exhumed graves from an ancient Indian burial ground, had them reburied where his company was going to go then began construction on his building thus disturbing the graves twice.

This blog will go dark tomorrow in protest of SOPA and PIPA, the two bills making their way through the House and Senate that essentially stifles creativity on the Internet. For more information, you can learn more here. As for the other two blogs Tauy Creek produces, there will just be no post on either of them.

See you Thursday and I hope to see a lot of websites down tomorrow.

Guard Your Ears...with Gorman's

2012-01-16T14:30:00.002-06:00

I, for one, am ready for the FCC to start demanding that commercials cannot be louder than the TV show. Does anyone like it when the TV show is at a decent volume that you and anyone else listening can hear it BUT THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN THE COMMERCIAL TALKING TO YOU ABOUT YOUR DIABETES TEST STRIPS COMES BLARING ON!!!! However I can see TV stations making both the show and commercials louder just to make up for their commercials not being loud anymore.

Ah, the roofie Veeblefester slipped into Brutus' coffee is working perfectly. What Veeblefester plans to do with an unconscious Brutus I am just going to leave to your own imagination.

A Second Opinion? For This?

2012-01-15T11:00:00.005-06:00

Rancid Veeblefester is a typical man in his fifties, maybe early sixties, so you have to start thinking that anytime after Veeblefester is finished talking about the strict diet his doctor is recommending, Brutus is going to hear a long, detailed story about his colonoscopy.

Playing the System

2012-01-13T11:00:00.003-06:00

I am not a Frazz fan. I used to like but over the last couple years it has become pretty condescending and Frazz has become...how do I say this nicely? Kind of a douche. Thinking he's better than everyone else. Anyway, today's strip shows us that Frazz taught the students whose vomit he cleans what the "Native American work for 'elk' is."

According to my research, wapiti, comes from the Shawnee and Cree word waapiti, which means "white rump." No where did I find that wapiti means "big white behind/rump" or that the Shawnee and Cree are the only Native American tribes. Way to generalize, Frazz. Way to generalize.

Nice try, Brutus. Actually, not nice try. Terrible try. No employer would let you do that but I would attempt to use my sick days and basically use them as vacation days. And neither my boss nor HR would be none the wiser.

Not-So Mister Teriffic

2012-01-12T11:00:00.001-06:00

DC Comics has announced six new titles for the second wave of the New 52. New titles include Batman Incorporated, Earth 2, Dial H, Worlds' Finest, G.I. Combat and The Ravagers. But with these six titles comes the cancellation of six original New 52s. Men of War, Mister Terrific, OMAC, Static Shock, Hawk and Dove and Blackhawks will be coming to an end.

The only one of those titles I read is Mister Terrific because I like the character and it had a Justice Society connection that wasn't even mentioned during at least the first five issues. But what got me about Mister Terrific was that, unlike most of the other New 52 series, you never heard anything about Mister Terrific. In fact, with the exception of Men of War, OMAC and reading about Rob Liefeld's terrible art in Hawk and Dove, none of the titles being canceled made the rounds at the many comic blogs out there. I don't recall reading anything about Mister Terrific except someone complaining about how Power Girl was reduced to being Mister Terrific's girlfriend. I also saw something about how the backgrounds were being done by computers instead of an actual artist starting with issue #3, which is about the time most of the other titles ran into artistic troubles.

So how would I have handled Mister Terrific? Mister Terrific is the third-smartest man in the world and really, really rich making him essentially Batman without all the darkness. I would have explored how Mister Terrific is different from Batman and, if allowed, explored his possibly having a bigger role in the new universe and that may still happen as Earth 2 is supposed to feature the Justice Society, which Mister Terrific was once a member of, and Worlds' Finest features Huntress and Power Girl trying to get back to Earth 2 so Mister Terrific may play a big role in these titles as well.

Mister Terrific and the others will end with issue #8 in April.

"You're eating a salad for lunch? How could you do something like that? I mean, I just can't comprehend how you can be doing this! Are we in the Bizarro World or something. A salad?!"

Fool

2012-01-11T11:00:00.001-06:00

...

Wastrel's wearing a jester's cap, right? I'm not just seeing things? Is there a reason he's wearing it? Is it time for another made-up, obscure holiday already?

He's a Loser Because He Chooses To Be

2012-01-10T11:00:00.014-06:00

The last couple nights I've been having these weird dreams featuring what I am just going to call Ink Children. In these dreams, these Children are really just shadows of children. Shadows that have taken over the city and are hunting down and killing people. It's not really a scary dream as I am protected from the Ink Children by my own child who is apparently an Ink Child but also still human so he still has feelings and emotions but with the powers of an Ink Child--which mainly include enough strength to rip someone's head from their body.

I'm just wondering why there are so many people trying to kill me in my dreams....

Now Brutus doesn't have the perfect life but he does have a good one. He has a good job that pays well and, most importantly, a loving wife and son. Brutus has a good life. He has a good life.

Well, running a tea cozy empire is stressful especially considering how useless tea cozies are and how they last a long time thus making buying a new one something that only happens every once in a while.

Enough About Brutus, Let's Talk About Arnie

2012-01-08T11:32:00.000-06:00

So essentially, 2012 is going to be the year we see Brutus in the hospital. Although there is still a chance that Brutus is dead.

I also find it weird how similar Arnie and Brutus' generic co-worker look.

So? I Have My Grandma's Organ

2012-01-07T18:56:00.000-06:00

Why is Brutus asking what time it is? Why can't he just ask to see it like any other normal person? I mean, who asks what time it is when someone says they have a new watch?

People Functioned Just Fine Before Coffee

2012-01-06T11:00:00.002-06:00

So I am reading some of DC Comics' New 52. I figured it was a good idea because I love reading comics but I don't want to know what happened during Final Crisis, Flashpoint or have to wonder why there are now seven types of "Lantern" rings. Currently, I'm reading Action Comics, All-Star Western, Animal Man, Justice League, Justice League International, Mister Terrific, Superman and Swamp Thing. I think my favorite book so far is All-Star Western which features Jonah Hex and his adventures in Gotham City in the 1880s. I'm enjoying the art, the stories and am finding Jonah Hex becoming one of my favorite characters. One of my favorite scenes is in issue #4 which just came out a few Wednesdays ago. In it, Hex is gunning down the people he originally came to Gotham to apprehend and is shooting one of them repeatedly in the hand when this happens:

I love how the man is all ready to take down Hex but then when he realizes that he could get shot, saunters back to his store. And the way he walks back while muttering is wonderfully drawn. Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is All-Star Western is a great book and you should check it out.

Oh sweet Heaven that is coffee.

Clearly Chip drew this comic before he had his coffee because this perspective is awful.

Well, Good For You and Bess

2012-01-05T15:45:00.001-06:00

Marriage is difficult and sucks every last ounce of joy out of your life. That's at least what comics, TV, movies and novels would lead you to believe. As someone who is married, granted for only two years, I've loved every minute of it so I get pretty tired of people whining about how awful marriage is. I mean, people aren't forcing you to get married.

Yet.

Speed It Up a Little--Your Retirement That Is

2012-01-04T11:00:00.006-06:00

I was watching the Iowa Caucus last night and, I think it was Chris Matthews who brought up what Mitt Romney said about Newt Gingrich's campaign, likening it to "Lucy in the kitchen" which made me think, I'm pretty sure Governor Romney is talking about the chocolate factory. If you've ever watched "I Love Lucy" then you should know that Lucy is very adept in the kitchen, as all housewives were back in the 1950s. I decided to actually search for the quote to see if Romney made the mistake or if Chris Matthews was just making a generalization.

Romney actually said "I think he compared that to Pearl Harbor," Romney said of the Gingrich campaign's failure to get on the Virginia ballot, which the former speaker's adviser called a 'set-back.' I think it's more like Lucille Ball at the chocolate factory," Romney said. "You've got to get it organized."

I'm glad that Romney got the allusion correct because I don't want someone who can't even get simple pop culture references right to be our president because, like abortion and voter restrictions, things that don't matter matter to me. And congratulations to Governor Romney for winning Iowa and propelling himself to the rank of "Mike Huckabee."

Newt Gringrich (left) trying to hide his shame under his chef hat.

Ohio is an "at-will" state meaning that if Brutus doesn't have a so-called contract for employment, he can be terminated at any time within the confines of the law. More than likely, since Brutus is pretty far up on the food chain he does have an employment contract.

You'd be amazed at how often I've spoken with friends about what you can and cannot be fired for.

Brutus Thornapple, 1965-2012

2012-01-03T10:34:00.000-06:00

I've seen this before. Brutus is dead but his spirit can't leave this Earthly plain until Brutus rights some wrongs. What those wrongs are, I don't know and neither does Brutus as he hasn't even figured out he's dead yet.

Yeah...The Bright Side...

2012-01-02T17:48:00.000-06:00

It's our first post of the new year and this year is going to be the best year for Tauy Creek. Watch This Space is going to get back to basics, Liberty is going to continue to bring you the monthly series along with special writings and our newest blog, The Corner of 16th & Massachusetts, is dedicated to bring you the best in Douglas County, Kansas history. Don't forget that Tauy Creek has a Facebook and that you can follow me on Twitter if you want.

2012. To the best year ever.

Oh, and please tell your friends about all our blogs.

It amazes me how blatant everyone is getting when discussing Santa Claus. I guess this could be constrewed as if kids are reading this they're just like "Yeah, that's true!" but adults reading this are just like "Why I oughta!"

Also, easy way to cut back on Christmas debt? Don't spend much money and don't use credit cards. Your family should understand if you want to cut back on buying gifts. And if they don't understand then clearly they're only in your family for the money and geegaws.

They Just Don't Want to Talk to You

2011-12-20T19:00:00.000-06:00

Unless the person you text only has a landline. Brutus should have plenty of friends that have both a cell phone and a landline. Old people do stuff like that.

And I'm off for the holidays and will be back January 2nd. In fact, there's not even anything scheduled to go up over the next couple weeks which I'm sure will hurt my stats but it's Christmas so we shouldn't be thinking of stuff like. There are some children in Nairobi who don't even have blogs. You can follow me on Twitter to see what I'm doing instead of updating this thing.

No. 30: So This Is Christmas

2011-12-20T15:00:00.024-06:00

December 21st
“No, I can definitely handle two Christmases,” I said as I stood in front of the mirror trying to do something with my hair.

“I just don’t want you to be stretched too thin,” Krista came up behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist. “You have to drive a hundred miles to my family Christmas.”

“My family has Christmas on Christmas Eve and your family doesn’t do Christmas until Christmas evening. Plenty of time to do both,” I turned around in her arms and smiled at her. “Nothing can stop me from spending Christmas with you.”
I leaned in and kissed her. I stroked her soft brown hair as she moved her hands along my back.

“We need to go,” Krista said, pulling away. “I need to get to work and you need to…do whatever it is you do during the day,” she smiled, giggling slightly.

“Okay,” I kissed her again. “I will see you this evening.”

We got dressed and left her apartment. Krista headed to work while I went to the comic book store where my friend, Neal, and his wife, Samantha, worked. The store wasn’t open yet but the door was unlocked and Neal and Sam were in the backroom.

“You guys doing it back here?” I yelled as I entered the room.

“No. We finished about twenty minutes ago,” Neal said.

Neal was shaved bald but had a full beard. Sam was short and kind of chubby with long brown hair and large breasts. She always wore some form of black clothing. Today, it was a black sundress. “What are you doing here?” she asked.

“I want to propose to Krista,” I said.

Sam got up and hugged me. She squealed, which was a sound I had never heard come from her before. “Oh my God! I am so happy for you!”

Neal shook my hand. “Congratulations, man,” he said.

“Well, I haven’t proposed yet but I wanted to tell somebody and since you two are my best friends I figured it might as well be you,” I said.

“Do you have a ring picked out yet?” Sam asked.

“No. Me and Joan are going out when I get home and find something,” I replied.

“You and Joan? You’re not even going to ask one of your closest friends to go ring shopping with you?” Sam complained.

“Well, no offense but you don’t really have the right...taste, yeah that’s the word, for jewelry.”

“What are you talking about?” Sam asked.

I looked at her ring, a silver titanium ring with moon and star shaped holes, and then at Neal’s ring, a black titanium with skulls and crossbones on it. “Are you serious?” I asked her.

Joan was my roommate who moved in after Neal moved out. She was short with curly orange hair, bright blue eyes and slight freckles on her face but her arms, chest and shoulders were covered in them. When I walked in, Joan was sitting in her underwear at the computer. A DVD of Futurama was playing but she wasn’t paying attention to it. I hung up my jacket and looked at Joan. “Ew. Boobs,” I said as I headed down the hallway.

“You love ‘em,” Joan said without looking at me.

After a few minutes, I emerged from the bathroom and went back to the living room.

“You left the toilet seat up.”

“Sorry,” Joan said, still not really paying attention to me.

I turned off the TV. “What time do you have to be at work?”

“Noon, why?” she responded.

“I want us to go ring shopping today so I can pick out Krista’s engagement and wedding ring. You said you’d go with me.”

“That doesn’t sound like something I’d say.”

Well you did. Come on, we have about an hour and a half before you have to be at work.”

Joan growled loudly. “Fine! But I’m only doing this so I can have the apartment to myself when you move in with Krista.”

December 22nd
I showed a couple of the girls at work the ring and their faces lit up. “So you’re really going to do it?” Alexis, a short, freckled, brown haired girl asked.

“Of course. I love her,” I replied. “So you think it’s a good ring?”

“It’s beautiful. She’ll love it,” Jennifer said.

“It was so hard not to propose this evening but I’m waiting for Christmas Day when we’re at her parent’s house,” I said.

“You’re proposing on Christmas?” Tom asked from behind me. “Proposing on a holiday. Are you going to get married in June?”

“How would I know that? Krista doesn’t even know I’m proposing,” I said, turning to Tom.

“It just seems so cliché,” he sneered.

“Thank you for your opinion, Tom. Shouldn’t you get back to work?”

“I’m on break.”

“Of course.”

“Ignore him,” Jennifer said. “I think it’s romantic. Krista is lucky to have you.”

“I can be romantic, too,” Tom began. “I just don’t see the point of it at this juncture of my life.”

“Yeah. But even when you are romantic, you’re still a huge jerk,” I said.

“Maybe I’ll be all romantic with your mom!” Tom retorted.

“All right. Let me know how that goes,” I sighed and went back to my work.

I was still asleep in Krista’s bed when she came home at six. She woke me up by shaking me softly. “Hey, you,” I said as I stretched.

“I love seeing you sleeping in my bed,” Krista smiled. “Hey, my boss gave me my Christmas bonus so I thought we could grab some dinner.”

“Sounds good. Let me take a shower and we can head out,” I stretched again and sat up. “How was work?”

“It was good. How was your day?”

“Pretty boring. I went to bed right after you left and have been asleep ever since.”

“Must be nice to sleep all day,” Krista got into bed next to me.

“It is but I still have to be up all night. If only I had a woman with a good job to take care of me, I’d quit my job and focus on my art.”

“Your art?”

“Yes. Writing to TV show producers and telling them how to make their shows better,” I said, chuckling.

“You’re a regular humanitarian hope,” Krista kissed me. “You should get in the shower so we can get to dinner and still have time afterward before you have to go to work.”

“Are you going to join me in the shower?” I winked.

“No,” she said as she smiled “that’s why I want plenty of time after dinner.”

December 23rd
When I returned home from work the next morning I could hear Joan in her bedroom. I went into my bedroom, shut the door and turned on the TV to try to drown her out. I changed from what I wore to work into my boxers and large shirt and laid down in bed. I dozed off within half an hour.

Some time in the afternoon I was awakened by my phone ringing. I reached over and answered it. “Hello?”

“Sorry if I woke you,” it was my aunt “but Grandpa’s in the hospital. He’s had a stroke. We’re in the emergency room right now if you want to head over here.”

“Okay,” I yawned. “I’ll be over in a few minutes.”

My Grandpa had been in and out of the hospital the last two years or so after suffering a stroke. My Grandma passed away about three years ago and after that my Grandpa seemed lost—didn’t really know what to do. He tried reuniting with old friends, seeing family he hadn’t seen in a long time and even started this woman he knew from when he was a teenager. Then he had his first stroke which the entire family considered with a punishment from my Grandma for attempting to date again.
I got dressed and headed to the hospital where my entire family was waiting in the emergency room. “What’s going on?”

“They just got him stable but he’s still unconscious. They’re going to move him up to a room in a little bit. They think he had a massive stroke and a series of small strokes. It doesn’t look too good,” my aunt said. My uncle, who had been staying with my Grandpa since his stroke, forced himself to hold back tears.

My family and I waited in the ER waiting room for a few more minutes until a nurse walked over to us. “We have your father moved into a room. He’s not awake but you can go up and see him,” she handed my aunt a piece of paper and we went together to the elevator and up to Grandpa’s room.

We walked in and saw Grandpa lying in bed, completely still, looking like a ghost rather than the man we knew. My aunt and Mom gasped and my uncle finally let a tear go. A nurse came in behind us. “Are you all family?” she asked.

We all nodded.

“Have you decided what you all want to do?” the nurse asked.

“What do you mean?” my aunt asked.

“Resuscitation. Do you want to sign a ‘Do Not Resuscitate’ order?”

“Why?” my aunt was confused. “He could wake up. Couldn’t he?”

“It is possible but it doesn’t look good. I’ll send in the doctor and he can go over it with you.”

“I think we should do it,” my uncle said.

“But there is still a chance he could wake up and be able to eat and breathe on his own,” my aunt said.

“I just don’t think he would want to live like this. I’m just trying to decide what’s best,” my uncle broke down and began crying.

I arrived back at home; Joan was either still at work or out. I began searching the kitchen to find something to eat when my phone rang. “Hello?”

“Are you coming by before I leave?” Krista asked. “I’m leaving in a few minutes.”

“Oh, God. I completely forgot. My Grandpa’s in the hospital and I spaced out on everything today. I haven’t eaten since my lunch hour last night at work,” I said.

“Your Grandpa’s in the hospital? Is he going to be okay?” she asked.
I shrugged even though I knew she couldn’t see it. “Probably not. We signed a ‘Do Not Resuscitate’ order so it could be a matter of hours or he could last days.”

“So you’re not coming to my parent’s Christmas are you?” Krista asked.

I was silent for a while then answered, “Probably not. I should stay here just in case he goes.”

“I understand. I’m going to miss you. And my family is going to miss you,” Krista said. “I’ll text you when I get down there. I love you.”

“I love you too,” I replied. I closed the refrigerator door and went into my bedroom and tried to nap before I had to go to work.

December 24th / December 25th
Like we have for years before, my family celebrated Christmas together on Christmas Eve. We ate a lot of food and opened our presents to each other. We reminisced about past Christmases and my Grandma and Grandpa. By ten o’clock, I was back in my apartment. Joan was off with her family so it was just me. I stayed up only for a little while before heading to bed. Around 1:30 in the morning, my phone rang.

I reached over and grabbed it. “Hello?” I answered.

“Grandpa passed away,” my Mom sobbed.

I sat up in bed and turned on the lamp next to my bed. “Where are you?” I asked.

“We’re all heading to the hospital. You don’t have to go if you don’t want to,” my Mom said.

“No, I’m heading out now. I should be there in ten minutes. See you there,” I hung up and got up, putting on the same clothes I wore to the family get-together. I began writing a text to Krista but decided against sending it. I left the apartment and drove to the hospital and met my family in front of my Grandpa’s room. There was a ‘Do Not Enter’ sign posted on the door. “Has anyone gone in yet?”

Everyone shook their head.

“The door’s been locked. And we were kind of waiting for you,” my aunt said.

“Are you ready?” a nurse suddenly appeared behind us.

“I guess so,” my aunt said.

The nurse unlocked the door and pushed the door opened. “Please close the door behind you,” she said. “Take your time.”

I was the last one in the room so I shut the door. My Mom, aunt and uncle circled around my Grandpa’s body, still covered up in the bed. The room had been cleaned out and the lights had been dimmed.

“Say ‘hi’ to Mom for me,” my uncle said softly touching Grandpa’s shoulder.

“What are we supposed to do? Do we just leave him here until the morning?” my aunt asked.

“The funeral home should have 24 hour service,” I began. “They should be able to pick up the body tonight.”

We stayed in the room for a few more minutes before leaving. My aunt approached the nurse’s desk and asked for the numbers to a couple of funeral homes.

About an hour later, I was back at home. I lie down in bed and immediately fell asleep waking up about mid-morning and wanting to see Krista. I took a shower, got dressed and grabbed my things and proceeded to drive the hour’s trek to Krista’s parent’s house.

I walked up the porch and knocked then got down on one knee. Krista’s mother answered the door and smiled at me. “Krista, it’s for you.”

She moved away from the door and Krista approached. She saw me down on one knee and beamed, her eyes tearing up. I pulled the ring box out of my pocket and opened it. “Krista, will you marry me?”

Tears started falling. “Yes. Of course I will,” she laughed. She pulled me up. I slid the ring on her finger and kissed her. We pulled away. “What about your grandpa?” she asked.

“He passed away earlier this morning. At around one o’clock,” I replied.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Krista hugged me.

“It’s fine. We had our family Christmas. He died on Christmas Day, we have our Christmas on Christmas Eve so I like to think he spent Christmas with us in his own way,” I said.

“Well, I’m glad you were able to come down here,” Krista said and kissed me again. “Merry Christmas.”

“Getting engaged on Christmas?” Krista’s brother began. “Are you going to get married in June?”

I looked at him, “Are you related to a guy named Tom?” I asked.

You're Letting Out the Heat

2011-12-19T11:00:00.003-06:00

Read some news today that the comic strip Ollie and Quentin, the story of a seagull and a worm, will be coming to an end at the end of the year. Piers Baker, creator of the strip, noted earlier this year that sales of his strip were lacking. We wish Mr Baker luck with whatever he works on next.

"Lie in?" I'm gonna let this slide because you are British but don't let it happen again.

Spirit could also be another word for soul so it would make sense that Mother Gargle couldn't be there in spirit because we all know Mother Gargle has no soul.

Is that bush outside an evergreen because no bush should be that green in the dead of winter.

"Bah!" said Scrooge, "Humbug!"

2011-12-18T11:00:00.003-06:00

"At this festive season of the year, Mr Scrooge, ... it is more than usually desirable that we should make some slight provision for the Poor and destitute, who suffer greatly at the present time. Many thousands are in want of common necessaries; hundreds of thousands are in want of common comforts, sir."

"Are there no prisons?"

"Plenty of prisons..."

"And the Union workhouses." demanded Scrooge. "Are they still in operation?"

"Both very busy, sir..."

"Those who are badly off must go there."

"Many can't go there; and many would rather die."

"If they would rather die," said Scrooge, "they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population."

Veeblefester is finally going to get his comeuppance. And that is our Christmas gift from The Born Loser.

Should Be Wearing Glasses All the Time If Your Eyesight Is That Bad

2011-12-17T11:00:00.004-06:00

Brutus' face is not conducive to wearing glasses. His nose his too bulbous, his ears too odd looking and his eyes, too close together. Also, I don't think we've ever seen Brutus in glasses. He was doing the bills a couple weeks ago and he wasn't wearing them. I know what Chip should ask Santa for Christmas. A sense of continuity.

Happy Friday

2011-12-16T11:00:00.003-06:00

So I have until the 20th to get this Christmas story written and I am not even halfway through. I just need the motivation to get it written but instead waste my time doing other stuff on the computer. Over this weekend I am going to buckle down and get it done because I just looked at the calendar and the 20th is on Tuesday.

You know what? I'm good. Have a good day everyone!

In Memoriam...

2011-12-16T09:30:00.014-06:00

We've gotten some sad news over the last week or so. Jerry Robinson, famed comic creator who created the characters of Robin and Joker for Batman passed away last Wednesday at age 89. Joe Simon, famed comic book writer, artist, editor and more who worked alongside Jack Kirby to create Captain America, revamp Sandman, create the Newsboy Legion and the Guardian and establish the series Young Romance passed away yesterday at the age of 98. Eduardo Barreto, popular artist for The New Teen Titans and numerous one-shots and mini-series, also passed away yesterday at age 57.

And last, but certainly not least, Christopher Hitchens, writer, journalist and political critic, passed away yesterday at age 62 after battling cancer.

From left: Robinson, Simon, Barreto and Hitchens.

Stull #24

2011-12-15T14:30:00.167-06:00

Katie walked into the Society and heard Frank talking with someone in his office. She listened for a moment until she heard some laughter then she went in. "Hey, Frank. What's going...Lana?!"

Frank and Lana turned to look at Katie. "Hey, Katie. I'm now living in Tontzville so I thought I'd visit Frank. I had some news to give to Frank anyway," Lana said.

"Remember Ryan Collins?" Frank asked Katie.

"Kind of. Quiet, weird kid? Dropped out after sophomore year?"

"I was his friend since Kindergarten. We kind of parted ways during puberty but when he dropped out, we stayed in touch with two or three letters a year. I haven't gotten a letter from him all year. Lana told me today that he killed himself."

"Oh my God, that's horrible!" Katie exclaimed.

"He had a book of poems accepted by a small publisher. It will be released posthumously," Lana said.

"I wish I would've been a better friend. Wrote more letters or to visit him..." Frank said. Frank suddenly stood up. "Katie, I'm going to take the day off. You and John are going to visit Martha Hall, right?"

"We don't have to. We can go tomorrow and you and I could..." Katie tried but Frank interrupted.

"No. Get her story. She's nearly 100 and she says she has proof that an alien crashed on her land back in the thirties. We need to get that down," Frank said.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Lana asked.

"Sure," Frank sighed. "I will see you tomorrow, Katie. Have fun with John and Mrs. Hall."

Frank and Lana left the Society. Katie remained in Frank's office. "Damn," she said.

"1938"
Martha Hall slowly stood up from her wheelchair to open the screen door for John and Katie. She then wheeled away from the door so they could come in. "Thank you for coming. I wasn't sure if your boss would take me seriously," Martha said.

"Frank's not our boss," John corrected.

"You'll have to speak up. I can't hear very well. I'm not young like you two," she said.

"You wanted to talk to us about a spaceship, Mrs. Hall?" Katie asked, shouting so Martha could hear her.

"Spaceship? Oh, yes! Please sit down. There are plenty of places to sit and I'll tell you all about when my husband and me had a spaceship crash into our field," Katie sat down on a couch, a cloud of dust erupted when she sat. John sat down on a recliner and immediately sank into it. "It was April of 1938. April...April 18th, yes."

Katie took out a pen and began writing down what Martha was saying on a notepad that she brought. "I was...I was 23 at the time. Wait. I was born 1915 so, yes, 23. And Jonathan was...Jonathan was...28?"

"Are...are you asking us or telling us?" John asked.

Martha didn't hear him and continued with her story. "We were out on the back porch when we saw a bright light in the sky. We originally thought that they were agricola burn-lightus," Martha said.

Katie stopped writing. "What?"

"What?" turning her ear to Katie. "You'll have to speak up. I don't hear too good. I'm not young like you two."

"Agricola burn-lightus? What is that?" Katie shouted.

"Oh, you know. When lights are in the sky," Martha flittered her hand in the air.

"Aurora borealis?" John asked loudly.

"That's it. Well, that's what we thought it was but then we saw something in the sky. Falling from the sky. And it was getting closer to the ground. It was burning, bright yellow and kind of...flickered in the dark sky. Then we heard it crash behind the tree line on our property. We got in our truck and drove out to where we thought it had crashed," Martha continued. "We saw a...a...oh, what do you call it?"

John and Katie looked at each other and shrugged.

"You know what I'm talking about. A giant hole in our field," Martha said.

"Oh, a crater," John said.

"You'll have to speak up. I don't hear so good. I'm not young like you two," Martha repeated. "We got out of the truck and went to the hole where in the hole we saw a spaceship."

"A spaceship?" John questioned.

"You'll have to speak up..." Martha began.

"A spaceship?!" John repeated louder. "What did it look like?"

"It was green. No, blue. It was a blue bulb shape. With a gold X-shaped contraption attached to it," Martha made an awkward X with her hands. "Jonathan slid down in the hole and when he approached the ship, the blue glass melted away. Inside the ship was the bones of a small child. 'What kind of monster would send a child into space?' we asked each other as Jonathan carried the bones out of the ship."

"So you think a country sent the ship into space, or at least tried to send a ship up into space?" Katie asked loudly.

"At first. Then we decided that the ship was sent from space. In 1938, people weren't trying to get into space," Martha said. "Kennedy got us into that mess in the '60s. But he's better than that..."

John interrupted Martha as he struggled to get out of the recliner. "Okay! What did you do with the spaceship? Did you tell anyone else about the crash?"

"No, we didn't. Police spoke with us but we said we saw the light but that was it. We buried the bones of the child and covered the hole with the ship with a bunch of boards and let the land lay fallow for nearly 80 years," Martha said.

"So the ship is still in the hole?" John asked.

"It should be. Jonathan and I never went back out there," Martha said. "You can drive out there. I can show you where it is."

"I think the part that gets me is why I care so much," Frank began. "We lost touch, we didn't really know what the other became. I still consider him a friend but he's not a friend, if that makes sense."

"It does," Lana reassured. "Now that Ryan is gone, you wish you could've been around to be the friend he may have needed but you have to ask yourself, even if you were around, would Ryan still have committed suicide?"

"Probably not. He was always depressed as a child and teenager. It was probably inevitable but I think what my problem is, is that it's almost been two months and Jen is still missing. I've found no clues to where she is, her boyfriend is blaming me and has even said I killed her and hid the body in one of the many isolated places I've learned about since opening the Society," Frank said. "I want to find. I want to tell her that I love her."

"Do you want to sleep with her?" Lana asked.

Frank looked at her and then nodded his head. "Yeah. I do."

Lana stood up and walked over to Frank. "You really care about this Jen, do you? Like you used to care about me?"

"Lana. What was between you and me is completely different. I can't compare it to anything," Frank chuckled a little.

Lana knelt down in front of him. "That's good. I would like to think that our relationship is one-of-a-kind and special," Lana began unbuttoning Frank pants.

Katie helped Martha out of the car and into her wheelchair. "If you lift up those boards, the hole and the ship should be under them."

John walked over to the rotted board lying on the ground. He bent over and began picking them up. They were nailed together and were lighter than they looked. John pushed away the boards and revealed a large crater in the ground. And in the crater, a gold ship with melted blue glass.

"Oh my God, she's not just a daffy old broad," John said softly.

"This is amazing," Katie said and began taking pictures. "Frank is going to love this."

Frank and Lana lay next to each other in his bed. Frank slowly ran his fingers against Lana's face as she played with his chest hair with her forefinger. "I have missed you so much," Lana said and kissed Frank.

Frank's phone on the nightstand next to the bed chirped. "Oop. Got a text message. Excuse me," Frank rolled over and grabbed his phone and looked at the message from Katie of the gold and blue ship. "Oh my God," he sat up "aliens!"

Next: A giant sinkhole opens up in Stull, destroying much of the town but leading to the return of Jen.

All characters in this story are entirely fictional. Superman and all related characters are Copyright (C) 2011 DC Comics. All rights reserved. Superman created by Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster.

██████ Are ████, Not ████

2011-12-15T11:00:00.002-06:00

I've censored the following, in protest of a bill that gives any corporation and the US government the power to censor the internet--a bill that could pass THIS WEEK. To see the uncensored text, and to stop internet censorship, visit: http://americancensorship.org/posts/20886/uncensor

Oh, ████! ████████████ is ███████ █████ the ██████ of ████ █████ █████ and ████████ ████ ████ a ██████! ████ so you ████, ████████████'s ██████████ is to see if ████ ████ ████ █████ the █████ ███████ of ████████ if it is ████-████ or -█████.

It's Hard Out There for a Pimp

2011-12-14T11:00:00.016-06:00

I am not a musician. I've really had no desire to become a musician but I do know a little bit about the music industry such as the bigger a musical genius you are, the more you can be a jerk to people and that if you pirate songs, the RIAA will destroy everything and everyone you hold dear.

The big thing I'm seeing now in movies, TV shows and commercials is that recording artists go into the studio and stand around in the recording booth with nothing to sing.

Apparently soda pop commercials are the worst offenders of this.

Musicians don't just stand around the recording studio waiting for inspiration to hit, they should know what they are going to do because not knowing is a waste of the studio's time, the record company's money and shows a level of unprofessionalism on the artist. Now I'm not saying inspiration doesn't strike while they are in the studio but the people who do the recording are not being paid to record Britney Spears' off-the-cuff ramblings. That's one reason a lot of artists have recording studios in their house so they can do random and unfinished stuff without wasting time and money because no matter how popular and successful an artist is, the record company will not tolerate wasting their time and money on a song that doesn't have music to it, incomplete lyrics and pauses in it.

So the point I'm getting at is musicians work hard to give their fans the best music they can and images like these put in people's heads that musicians can rattle off a song just off the top of their head. I think lyrics can be created but music should take longer. It also puts in people's minds that in just one trip to the recording studio, a masterpiece can be created. Creating a song takes several trips to the recording studio. Several.

I love Wastrel's pimp hat. And now whenever I want to argue about homeschooling, all I have to do is show people the first panel and say "This guy is a bum!" and the argument is over. And I knew Wastrel wasn't really home-schooled, you know why? He's way too social and doesn't seem at all religious.

SOPA

2011-12-13T11:00:00.018-06:00

█████ I ████ ████ is ███████, ███████ ████ █████ ██████████ ████ to █████████ ██████████.

Think about it. How many websites do you view everyday that post content from other sites? Most of the blogs I read either post other people's content or link to other people's content. The SOPA bill (Stop Online Piracy Act) essentially allows the Department of Justice and copyright holders to seek court orders against accused of enabling or facilitating copyright infringement. I agree, copyright infringement is wrong. But I feel as long as you don't try to claim the work is yours and give credit where credit is due, it should be a non-issue. Take my blog, for example. Most of the strips have been removed and are now gaping holes ruining every post from 2008 to mid-2010. Newer posts showcase the comic strip but the strip isn't uploaded to the blog or my own album, it is linked to the actual site it came from. I keep the copyright information and state at the bottom of the blog and in the About the Born Loser page that I claim no ownership for the strip. The other comic strip blogs I read also do this, the ones that don't, link to a site where the strip is legally hosted.

Depending on who requests the court orders, the actions could include barring online advertising networks and payment facilitators such as PayPal from doing business with the infringing website; barring search engines from linking to such sites and requiring Internet service providers to block access to such sites. As the Internet is set up now under the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, if a copyright owner notices copyright infringement, all they have to do is send a written request to the website asking for the infringing material to be taken down. SOPA would override DMCA and make websites who do not monitor what their readers or uploaders do liable and they could lose advertisers.

Now, do I really believe that SOPA will end up doing what is showcased above with big dark boxes across words like a letter from a POW camp? No. But I do feel that if SOPA is allowed to pass there could be a constriction on what can be posted. I've seen numerous people question why this bill affects them. If you don't post copyrighted material, then you have nothing to worry about. But we all do it. Those links on Facebook and Twitter. Correctly sourced citations on Wikipedia. Those song lyrics you posted as a status, that video from YouTube you just love to replay. All of that is copyrighted and while it does seem extreme, SOPA could make posting links to interesting articles on Facebook illegal and SOPA forces Facebook to monitor and report it.

On December 15th, SOPA is up for markup in the House of Representatives. What that means is the bill will be debated, amended and/or rewritten before being voted on. So there is still time to contact your representative and let them know what you think about this bill. For more information, you can go here.

Not being a fan of Asian foods to begin with, I probably would not patronize an Asian fusion restaurant and seeing this image on Wikipedia...

Japanese/Vietnamese cuisine of smoked salmon wrapped in rice paper with
avocado, cucumber and crab stick.

...reinforces that pledge.

You're Gonna Like the Way You Look*

2011-12-12T11:00:00.005-06:00

Brutus, you wear the same damn sweater vest, undershirt and pants everyday. You wear the same work clothes everyday. Why are you going to a store and waste money on clothes we will never see?

*Not a guarantee

Shut Up and Take the Money

2011-12-11T21:51:00.001-06:00

Guess what I've decided to stop doing?

That's right. Sunday Comics. It's just become too much of a hassle and I've decided to just move on to doing what I do best. Making fun of The Born Loser.

Dingle and Schunk? Those sound like the last names of really bad male porn stars which then forces my mind to start thinking about what kind of porn Chip watches. Now I have to go pour bleach in my ear so it can cleanse my brain.

Lindsay But the Thornapples Are Here, Too (NSFW)

2011-12-10T11:00:00.004-06:00

We're going to be doing something a little different today as Lindsay Lohan's Playboy pictures have "leaked!" Oh boy! So first there will be a comic then, if you want, you can continue to the NSFW portion of today's post. Let's get started.

Huh? Picture-in-picture doesn't have sound so I can only assume Brutus switches back and forth from channel to channel.

Anyway, I am baffled by these women who know their husbands/boyfriends/fiances are obsessed with sports and constantly complain about it. This clearly isn't a new thing. You knew this about your guy when you started dating. How about taking the time you use to complain about it and use it to get yourself a new hobby?

So the big news of the last twelve hours is, and I use the phrase "big news" loosely here, is that Lindsay Lohan's Playboy shoot has, of course, been leaked. I'll admit, I was a big Lindsay fan from way back when. I thought he was cute and sexy but then, something happened. Somehow, between making Mean Girls and being a lesbian, Lindsay got addicted to drugs and drinking and dyeing her hair. I continued to try to like her. She made some bad movies, did rehab, went to being straight then bi then straight again. Then I stopped paying attention and during that time she was arrested and hit a parked car or something and she may have killed someone, I don't know.

Mainly, she wasn't the Lindsay we all loved anymore. I was really looking forward to her Playboy pictures because I figured they would be able to make her look sexy again, like she did in the Before Time. But instead we get this:

First of all, there's no full frontal. Lindsay's breasts are old news as she already has done pictures baring her breasts. Second, hasn't she already done the whole Marilyn Monroe thing? Why, yes she has. Third, none of the images shown look Photoshopped. Her breasts are saggy, you can see her freckles very clearly and her nipples are nearly nonexistent. Now, while I don't expect Playboy to completely erase her freckles, I do expect them to lift her breasts and darken her nipples because you can barely see those things.

Maybe in the actual magazine the pictures will be better. I'm still kind of under the impression that these are not the final versions and the ones that will appear in the magazine will be much better. All I can say is, I want redhead Lindsay back but I'm pretty sure all of her hair fell out and now she wears a wig.

I will admit that she has a nice ass.

Sadly, Their House Burned Down Today

2011-12-09T11:00:00.001-06:00

Veeblefester, like most rich I know and hear from, believes that if someone works hard their entire life, they will become a millionaire when, in reality, they just live comfortably. Not that there is anything wrong with living comfortably but comfortability =/= millionaire.

Bears. Brutus. Battlestar Galactica.

2011-12-08T21:53:00.000-06:00

I originally wasn't going to post today because my day was pretty full with getting cookie ingredients, fixing our Christmas lights and trying to get our tree lights to work. Then I had to get back out to get cookie cutters and a really cool Lawrence, Kansas Christmas ornament. If you want to see it, check it out on my Twitter.

The point of this post is to point out one of the best panels I have seen this year. It comes from today's Mark Trail, which is a strip I normally don't follow so all of this is completely out of context:

If you want context, here is the rest of the strip:

Interestingly, I have no idea what happened to the blue background when I cut down the image. Either way, I hope to use this image of the bear in future posts. For example, today's Born Loser:

See? Isn't that better? And you can happily think that the bear is going to tear Brutus limb from limb then slog off upstairs to do the same to Gladys and Wilberforce.

Harry Morgan, 1915-2011

2011-12-07T12:55:00.000-06:00

Harry Morgan, who starred as Officer Bill Gannon on Dragnet from 1966-1970 and Col. Sherman Potter on M*A*S*H from 1975-1983, has passed away. He was 96.

70

2011-12-07T11:00:00.002-06:00

Let's all take a moment to remember the events leading up to, during and after the attack on Pearl Harbor which happened 70 years ago today. December 7, 1941, a date which will live in infamy.

I forgot to do a post yesterday because I was busy sitting on my ass doing nothing when there was stuff around the house I could've been doing. Anyway, here's yesterday's strip which features yet another amazing Gladys Thornapple sweater and proof that Brutus built that man-cave he was talking about earlier this year that I can't find the post for.

I love the name Pfeiffer. Did anyone besides me watch UPN's The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer (the P was not silent)? I only watched that show because it had the guy from The John Larroquette Show in it and I loved that show. The series debuted October 5, 1998 and ended October 28th, only airing four out of nine episodes. The show has Dann Florek, Captain Donald Cragen of Law & Order and Law & Order: SVU fame, portraying President Abraham Lincoln. So there's that.

And, Inexplicably, He Was Gone

2011-12-05T11:00:00.001-06:00

There are a lot of words in today's strip. I guess Chip realized that if he's going to not draw a background, he should cover it up with walls of text.

November Was a Hell of a Month

2011-12-04T13:25:00.007-06:00

Calvin and Hobbes

This is one of my favorite Calvin and Hobbes mainly for the last panel and for the image of Calvin flying up into the air.

The Amazing Spider-Man

Did someone cut holes in Mary Jane's shirt? In the next to last panel it looks as if her bra is showing. Not that I'm complaining but showing that kind of stuff in a comic strip children read is daring. I mean, this isn't Arlo & Janis.

Also, yay Thor!

Marvin

As a parent, I can attest to this. When your child hurts himself, it's best to not bring attention to it or else they may cry which is the absolute last thing anyone on the planet wants to hear. Now, clearly if they've hurt themselves into a coma or broken bone then you probably should fawn over that or else the state might take your child away.

Marvin just fell on his butt. The padding caused by his diaper and his fecal matter should make his tush more protected than Fort Knox.

The Born Loser

I am still not used to the new format and it's been around since July. Brutus should start looking into maybe installing sun panels on the roof. I know there is a massive upfront cost for them but the money they'd save on electricity would make it worth it.

We live near a school crossing sign that runs on solar energy and I've been wondering if there's a way I could tap into it and take some of that precious solar power. I mean, the lights only flash from 7:30 to 8 and 3:15 to 3:45 (1:15 to 1:45 Wednesday) on weekdays.

Do We Really Need Another Useless TV Feature?

2011-12-03T11:00:00.002-06:00

Guess what happened to me yesterday. Somehow my flash drive became corrupted and I lost everything I had written. That's roughly 50 stories, 2 novels and numerous articles and reviews. Thanks to me posting some stories on Liberty, I was able to get most rewritten by copying and pasting but there are about half a dozen that I am going to have to rewrite because they were scheduled to be posted here for a while. After the catastrophe, I decided to make a list of the stories I've written and go through my notebooks (I hand write everything before I type it up) and found a couple stories that I'm gonna have to rewrite someday and try to make them suitable for publishing.

A couple of these are Calcutta, the story of a mystery in a small Kansas town during the 1880s, and Writer's Block, the story of an author who returns home to work on his new book only to be caught in the middle of his father's corruption scandal. Calcutta was published somewhere else a couple years ago but I took all my stories off that site so that I could start posting them here.

You're welcome.

But then ESPN, really the only network actively using 3D cameras, will have to invent cameras that can pick up smells. I'm sure everybody would love that. Smelling funky, sweaty football and basketball players and the smell of the burning rubber on the NASCAR track. I would never smell because 1)I would never buy a Smell-A-Vision TV and 2)I don't watch a lot of ESPN.

Moral of this post: I don't like 3D Television.

Woke Up This Morning, Went to Echo Glen

2011-12-02T11:00:00.007-06:00

I have discovered time and time again that I can't adhere to a schedule unless something is at stake. So, saying that, I am dispensing with the LAMNB schedule that I have kind of been adhering to. There was also some updates to the tours site which is now located at tours.tauycreek.com so go check it out. More changes are on the way.

Brutus, you are essentially Veeblefester's second-in-command. So your stature is as high as it's going to get without you somehow taking over Veeblefester's spot on the Board of Directors. You have to work on gaining respect, however.

I always used to think life would be better if more broke out into song occasionally. Then I started watching "Glee" and realized that breaking out into song wouldn't make life better, it would just make people more annoying.

Not only is this strip a joke about how people from Jersey talk--which was old about a year ago--it is also a "Sopranos" joke which went off the air in 2007 and hasn't been considered a decent joke since 2005.

I also see that the governing body of Echo Glen still hasn't put up a guard rail or something to keep people from tumbling over the edge.

Kansan

2011-12-01T15:30:00.059-06:00

I wrote this early yesterday morning and posted a link to the Google Docs location plus tweeted and provided links on Facebook but have decided to also place it here for those who want easy access to it or don't like clicking on links. Our state's new SRS Secretary, Rob Siedlecki, he was a Kansan because he bought a house here and is paying taxes. Siedlecki has been here less than year so him saying he's a Kansan is essentially the same as me moving to New York City and after a day there considering myself a New Yorker but there is more to being a New Yorker and there is more to being a Kansan, which is something Siedlecki is nowhere near accomplishing.

Robert Hall Pearson, fought in the Battle of
Black Jack in 1856 and bought the land
soon after to start a farm, becoming a Kansan.

I was reading an article about how the new SRS Secretary Robert Siedlecki is proposing to move juvenile services to the Department of Social and Rehabilitation Services. Opponents of the move, including some Republicans from the Kansas City area, say that the move would harm programs that are helping young people and keeping the public safe and that the proposal was offered without any input from experts. “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” Senator Tim Owens, a Republican from Overland Park said. Owens also said that it was offensive that people have not bothered to learn what is going on in Kansas before trying to change things. Siedlecki came to Kansas from Florida last year. Siedlecki responded with since he bought a house and is paying taxes here, “I prefer you call me a Kansan.”

Being able to take this picture does not
make you a Kansan. Taken from here.

Just because you bought a house here and are paying taxes doesn’t mean you are automatically a Kansan, especially after a little less than a year. I could buy a place in New York and pay taxes but that doesn’t make me a New Yorker. When you are a transplant from somewhere else, you have to earn the privilege of being called a New Yorker, a Floridian, a Texan and, yes, even a Kansan. Immediately considering yourself one is an insult to the people you live around. By immediately considering yourself a Kansan, you are insulting actual Kansans who were born here and those who have planted roots here. Siedlecki has no roots here. His daughters live with their mother in another state and once Governor Brownback is out of office, Siedlecki is off to the next state. He also has not taken the time to learn about our wonderful state—it’s history, culture, people—despite being given ample opportunity to. Going to a Chiefs game doesn’t make you a Kansan. Going to a KU basketball game doesn’t make you a Kansan.

View looking northeast from the White
Cloud Overlook in Doniphan County.


Memorial for Sarah Keyes, a member of the Donner Party who died near Alcove Spring in Marshall County.

Location of the house my grandparents
lived in after moving to Lawrence. The wide
street on the right is Iowa Street, 27th Street
is at the top and the big building in the center
is Sears.

I’ve spent entire days in the heart of the Flint Hills, marveling at how amazing they look; I’ve seen four states from the White Cloud overlook; I’ve traveled the Oregon Trail from Lawrence to the Big Blue River and the Santa Fe Trail from Gardner to Council Grove; I’ve watched the sun set in western Kansas and have wandered many cemeteries. I have immersed myself in this state’s history and culture not because I have to but because I am proud of where I am from and even if we may disagree on some topics, the citizens of Kansas are my brothers and sisters. I pay attention to what happens in my state from Treece to Reading to Greensburg. My Grandma and Grandpa came to Kansas from Kansas City, Missouri in the 1950s and moved to Lawrence. They brought their family with them, a family that remains today. They planted roots here and those roots continue. I have planted roots here by having my own family. I am here to stay. I care about what happens in Kansas because what happens in Kansas also happens to me.

A view of the Flint Hills in Wabaunsee County

Maybe Robert Siedlecki feels it’s as easy as buying a house and paying taxes to become a Kansan but to me, that just shows how out of touch he is and how little he really cares about the people of Kansas. You don’t get to decide that you’re a Kansan, the people of Kansas do and I’m sure they would agree with me. And, while I know it’s kind of silly, what Robert Siedlecki said offended me, he has essentially bastardized and cheapened my heritage all just to make his career look better. You are not a Kansan, Mr. Siedlecki. And you never will be.

Dark At Dawn

2011-12-01T11:00:00.002-06:00

"Genesis" was a...terrible company-wide crossover from DC Comics in 1997 where it was decided that superpowers were formed by a passing space current called the Godwave. On the first pass, the Godwave created the various gods on the planets, on the second pass it created superhumans and this series focused on what would happen if the Godwave passed through a third time. It was apparently the Godwave that caused Superman's powers to become energy-based and the series made it possible to change some heroes' powers.

The mini-series was criticized for not really changing any of the characters or the continuity and has pretty much been ignored since. I feel one comic actually stood out from the lackluster crowd. And that is Robin #46. I saw the cover in the comic book store and thought it looked interesting. It's one of my favorite covers and it's not a bad story either.

Dark At Dawn
Originally published in Robin #46 (Oct 1997)
Written by Chuck Dixon
Penciled by Cully Hamner
Inked by Sal Buscema
Lettered by Tim Harkins
Colored by Adrienne Roy
All characters and stories (C)1997 DC Comics. All rights reserved.

Also, don't forget to follow me on Twitter, 'like' us on Facebook and tell your friends about this blog.

Kansan

2011-11-30T14:11:00.000-06:00

I wrote this early this morning because of something our new SRS Secretary, Rob Siedlecki, said about him being a Kansan because he bought a house here and is paying taxes. Siedlecki has been here less than year so him saying he's a Kansan is essentially the same as me moving to New York City and after a day there considering myself a New Yorker but there is more to being a New Yorker and there is more to being a Kansan, which is something Siedlecki is nowhere near accomplishing.

Read my article here.

Patrice O'Neal 1969-2011

2011-11-29T12:19:00.002-06:00

Patrice O'Neal, actor and stand-up comedian known for his roles in Head of State and The Office, among others, has passed away at the age of 41 following complications from a stroke.

#heblowsalot

2011-11-29T11:00:00.032-06:00

Courtesy of Brownback Meme

I don't pretend to like the man who is my state governor. He essentially won because of name recognition and ignorant rural people who like his small Kansas town values (even though he hasn't "lived" in Kansas in nearly twenty years). Well, Governor Brownback clearly isn't in office to make friends, at least friends who have differing opinions than him.

One of Brownback's staff members called up the principal at Shawnee Mission East High School in Prairie Village to complain that one of their students, who was visiting the Capitol in Topeka, tweeted a disparaging comment about Governor Brownback. The tweet?

“Just made mean comments at gov brownback and told him he sucked, in person #heblowsalot”

The principal then called the student, a girl named Emma Sullivan, into his office and said it was unacceptable and an embarrassment. The school and the governor's office is asking that Sullivan apologize. Sullivan is not sure if she will.

Governor Brownback's spokesperson, Sherriene Jones-Sontag, stated “That wasn’t respectful. In order to really have a constructive dialogue, there has to be mutual respect." Which brings me to the point of this post: When was the last time Governor Brownback, or any Republican, showed President Obama any respect?

I've always been told that if you don't respect the person, at least respect the office. Barack Obama is our President. Our Commander-in-Chief and it bothers me that when a Republican was President, any disparaging remark was unAmerican and, from the way Fox News took it, an act of treason. It's not unAmerican. It's not an act of treason. And, to a point, it's not disrespectful. Living in the United States means that we can say what we want about our elected officials (as long as it's not a threat, libel or slander) and the government (Federal, State, local) can't do anything about it. In some countries, making a remark like that would result in, best case scenario, disappearance.

Why couldn't Brownback, or at least his social media monitoring team, just keep quiet? I want to think, since Sullivan was there during a Youth in Government meeting, that was the main reason. A preemptive "this girl doesn't think like us so we don't want her in politics" strike. Sullivan decided not to apologize, stating that it wouldn't be sincere and I agree. It would be like a teacher forcing two second graders to apologize after pushing each other off the slide. It wouldn't be sincere and they are just doing it to keep from getting in more trouble.

Brownback offered a statement late Monday morning apologizing for his staff over-reacting to the tweet. Why he didn't make a statement Friday just so the story wouldn't have time to simmer over the weekend is beyond me but now we can move on to more important matters.

Shells like sea shells? Why would anyone put sea shells in their pie? What does that have to do with pecans? And I'm assuming that since Brutus doesn't know there are shells in this pie that Mother Gargle just throws in whatever ingredient is nearby. Today it's shells, next time it will be beets...

Swearing

2011-11-28T11:00:00.048-06:00

A few weeks ago I posted that "All I Wanted" was one of my stories that had the most cursing. It still is but I've often wondered why. It's not like my vocabulary is squeaky clean. I'm not a sailor by any means but I'm also not the Pope (maybe someday though.) I've often wondered why I don't use curse words as much in my writing. I've always been that way and a lot of times I need to force myself to put in a swear word. For some reason, to me, in my stories, there is never really a situation that requires a swear word. When I wrote Harter Union, I consciously made the effort to reduce the swear words despite the fact that most of us there swore like sailors.

I was trying to do some searching online about why I tend to censor myself but didn't find anything helpful except a Writer's Digest article about when to use swear words in your writing. As someone who has been trying to break free of writing and having nothing to show for it since I was 16, I always felt that an overuse of swear words, even when used properly, made me feel immature and hindered my ability to be taken seriously and while I know that writing tends to not be censored, I've just felt that it's better to limit swear words than use them and turn people off to my writing. And let's face it, my writing tends to turn people off to my writing.

I agree with Brutus. Nine-year-old Wilberforce does not need his own laptop. If the Thornapples had the money I would suggest Brutus and Gladys get a brand new desktop and give Wilberforce their old desktop though. After a thorough browser and porn stash cleansing, of course.

You Have Ten Minutes to Read This Post

2011-11-27T11:00:00.005-06:00

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith

Snuffy just wants some fried chicken. He doesn't care if the chicken is really his own son or not.

Family Circus

Jesus can't save you now, Jeffy. You will have to incur the wrath of Thel Keane for your beating, biting and...choking, I guess, of your little brother P.J.

Hi and Lois

Why does everyone imagine novelists sitting in a dark room while they write. People do know that would be a huge strain on the eyes, right? Apparently if Hi would become an author he would do his writing in an alley in downtown Detroit.

The Born Loser

That's a terrible special. But I'm sure Brutus will be back. He always comes back.

Forty-Three Thousand, Two Hundred

2011-11-26T11:39:00.000-06:00

Why is he counting up? Shouldn't he be counting down? I'm trying to think of reasons he's counting up but I can only think that he's counting up to get up to the number of minutes until Christmas and then he will start counting down. Either way, it's more proof as to why Wilberforce is in the "turtle" group at school.

Shirley Cemetery

2011-11-25T11:00:00.017-06:00

Since it's Thanksgiving weekend, I've decided to do some reruns of a couple posts. Yesterday was a Thursday Comics featuring an old review of The Underfold's Best Apocalypse Ever. Today is the Issac Shirley family entry from the first and only post under 16th & Massachusetts. See you Sunday with an all-new Sunday Comics.

Issac Shirley was born in 1805 and came to Kansas in the 1850s and settled about two miles west of Lecompton. Issac, along with his wife Elizabeth, had seven children however two, John M. and George W. would not survive and are buried in a small cemetery near the remains of the house. Issac died in 1858 and only Mary Elizabeth and Franklin Pierce stayed on the farm to help their mother, who became ill, until she died in 1876. Franklin Pierce Shirley married Laura Nelson Pate in 1877 and they had four sons, William Leonard, John Franklin, Russell and Elmer. William Leonard died at age 16 while Russell and John Franklin (Frank) stayed on the farm as Elmer moved to Texas. Frank graduated from Lecompton High School in 1916. Russell served in World War I and continued living on the family when he got back until his death in 1957. Frank, who was diabetic, died in 1930 while their mother, Laura, died in 1929 and Franklin Pierce died in 1938.

The oldest of Issac and Elizabeth's sons, Wilburn, left to prospect for gold until returning to the Lecompton area in the 1850s where he bought a farm near his father's land. Soon, Wilburn moved across the river into Jefferson County where he would remain until his death. After Russell died, the Shirley house remained vacant. Nearby are the graves of Issac Shirley, John M., George W. and Martha Prather, wife of E. Prather. The ruins of the house remain on a hill overlooking the United Pacific Railroad and the Kansas River.

As well he should. If stores and people in general would just being jerks about Black Friday, then it would go smoothly but no people have to be animals while standing in front of Best Buy at three in the morning and stores have to only order two of the 70'' LCD TVs that are on sale for $200. Jerks.

I have copied all of the Liberty post over to the new Liberty site. They will remain here as well but you can now find them, easier to read over at liberty.tauycreek.com. Also, things on LAMNB should be back to normal next week and for most of December until the 20th when we go on hiatus until January 2nd.

Best Apocalypse Ever

2011-11-24T12:00:00.010-06:00

This is a reprint of A Review of the Best Apocalypse Ever that was published May 20, 2011 and was essentially a review of The Underfold's (a webcomic at theunderfold.com) first collection Best Apocalypse Ever. Thursday Comics will return next week with new material.

The Underfold, which sounds like some sort of skin flap located around the perineum, had it's humble beginnings as drawings on index cards at a church in 2008 and since then it is becoming a web comic known around the world. Best Apocalypse Ever is a collection of Underfold strips showcasing early strips and the Zombie Apocalypse of 2010. One of the more interesting things about collections like this is the evolution of the strip. Admit it, it is interesting to see how Calvin and Hobbes evolved from more cartoon-y drawings into a beautifully watercolored work of art of its later years or how Charlie Brown transformed from a wide eyed kid with a big head to a slightly chubby boy and into the version we know now.

It's not quite Calvin and Hobbes but you can hardly tell the difference.

The Underfold features Brian, a fictionalized version of creator Brian Russell; JB, Brian's friend whose face is never shown and is covered with a paper bag--a bio-electric facebag to be exact. The early strips feature mainly back and forths between Brian and JB usually about random things including the reason for the comics, geek-dom topics such as Lost, Heroes and comic books. Within time, more people are introduced including Julius Reynolds (a crazy old man with a Facebook), JB's son Fred and Eye, which is Brian's eye after it was cut out by Fred. (It won't sound any less confusing in the book.)

I'm hoping this is a homage to Knightfall.

The relationship between Brian and JB remind me of the relationship between me and my best friend. We get along good but it's kind of a hassle to be each others friend and there is a slight possibility that we hate each other and talk bad about each other behind each others backs. A prime example is when JB is talking with Fred and Fred asks how JB can stand Brian because "he just keeps talking and talking [...] It's horrible!" which is a phrase I'm sure I've used explaining my friend to my wife. And we all know the best thing about books, movies and TV shows is when we see a little bit of ourselves in the characters.

The introduction of Fred.

A little more than halfway through the book, Brian and JB begin bouncing through various times and dimensions including a world drawn in crayon, CBS's The Amazing Race and a dimension where birds are the dominant species and humans fly. And then the comic starts to get weird. Brian's goatee comes to life and JB gets irritated with the storyline so he resets the strip. *Cough* After the reset, life returns to normal for Brian, JB, Fred and Eye. At least normal for the Underfold.

Eye breaks the fourth wall.

The four-panel strips are my favorite. I am a sucker for standard comic strip joke-a-day formats. It harkens back to a bygone era where four-panel newspaper comic strips were actually funny and not the watered down dreck currently permeating people's retinas. The Zombie Apocalypse comes and goes, we got an homage to the Terminator series of movies and then a murderous robot assassin attempts to kill Baby Jesus which is something I wrote about several years ago. So it's clear that at some point in 1993, Brian Russell rifled through my trash and stole my idea. My attorney, Lionel Hutz, is looking into it.

The art is simplistic but it is better than anything that I could do. Each character is drawn uniquely and are more than expressive enough. Even JB and he has a bag over his head. The character to really grab my attention was, of course, Eye. Eye, who is an eye with arms and legs, always speaks in the third person, replacing word like "I'm" and "I'll" with "Eye'm" and "Eye'll". It makes perfect sense if you don't think about it too long which is the way to really understand The Underfold. Brian says in the book that he is bad at endings and wrapping things up but if you don't think about it then everything makes perfect sense.

Sadistic Bag Puppet sounds like another web comic.

They are.

The book ends on Christmas 2010. There is something for everyone in this book. At least everyone if you are under the age 35. Let's face it, older people don't understand things like this. Only the really cool or really perverted ones do. But after you have ordered your copy of The Underfold, you need to head over to theunderfold.com and get caught up and find comics that were not included in the book. It's the only right thing to do. And when the real Zombie Apocalypse happens, you don't want Brian to hand you over to the zombies because he found out you don't read his comic do you?

Eye thought not.

I wonder this myself.

Plainest Coat Ever

2011-11-23T11:30:00.002-06:00

In the early 1920s, Kansas legislature was tasked with attempting to decide on a state flag. Kansas was one of the few states without a flag. In 1925, backed by the politically powerful Grand Army of the Republic, who argued that our flag should not compete with the U.S. flag so instead of a flag, a banner was chosen and was essentially the Kansas state flag until 1927 when the state legislation enacted a proposal to designate the State Flag of Kansas.

Opposition quickly rose against the banner when it was determined the design was not liked, it was hard to hang and march with and the final nail in the coffin for the banner was probably when the banner was not chosen to fly among other state flags in Washington D.C.

Brutus is ready to start his Thanksgiving weekend. Or he just wants to get down to the bar early.

Sorry. I Mistake You for Someone With a Brain

2011-11-22T11:00:00.001-06:00

I don't think Brutus is making these mistakes on accident or even on purpose. I think Brutus is suffering from a series of mild strokes that will soon render him as useless as Stephen Hawking except Hawking at least still has his amazing brain while Brutus, let's be honest, does not.

Also it looks like Veeblefester is also having a mild stroke in the last panel. Heh. Thornapple will do that to you.

Ostrich Syndrome

2011-11-21T14:00:00.004-06:00

I've been trying to write a holiday-themed story for December's Liberty and it has not been going well. I've erased several beginnings and have spent a decent amount of time just staring at a blank piece of paper. I think I have an idea for a story and I'm making it a point to not have the story be at all Christmas-y but we'll see how that goes when I actually start writing it.

Don't forget to check out the new Tauy Creek site and the updated Tauy Creek Facebook page.

Brutus that's your solution to everything. Three day downpour? Close the shades. First snowstorm of winter? Close the shades. Zombie apocalypse? Close the shades. A new Spy Kids movie comes out? Close the shades. Just because the shades are closed doesn't mean those things aren't happening.

Squirrely-Girly

2011-11-20T14:21:00.000-06:00

Head on over to Tauy Creek's relaunched Facebook page for all the new updates pertaining to the many changes that have been going on the last week or so. And there will be plenty more chances to all the sites over the next few months.

Today's Sunday strip showcases more drawing and work than Chip has showcased in a year or more. I mean, look at all that detail and that squirrel almost looks lifelike and that overhead shot through the tree branches in the first panel >mwaah!< Amazing.

Join us back here tomorrow when Chip returns to drawing his simple characters in the void that is white space.

Beginning of the End

2011-11-19T11:10:00.002-06:00

The Facebook page for Tauy Creek and Watch This Space I created several months had laid stagnant since it's creation. But yesterday it came back with a vengeance. I am starting a new business venture over the next few months. Using my knowledge of my hometown and great sense of direction I have decided to start a business giving tours and sight-seeing excursion around where I'm from. I don't have the details hammered out but I will be working on that over the next couple of months.

Since I will be using this site for that (as you can probably tell from the Coming Soon page at the top), I plan on Losers Are Made, Not Born coming to an eventual end. Stull will be coming to an end with issue number 27 in February and Liberty will move to a new site with issue number 35 starting in May 2012. So while the changes will be gradual, Watch This Space should be completely dissolved by the end of 2012.

Edit: Change number and date of Liberty change from #43 (Jan 2013) to #35 (May 2012).

Can't you just remember what they said the weather would be? It seems a lot easier and takes up less space on your DVR.

Stull #23

2011-11-18T14:30:00.025-06:00

John drove up the driveway and around to the back of the house. "You know Frank would never condone trespassing and breaking and entering," he said to Katie and Caitlin.

"I know. That's kind of why we didn't invite him," Katie said. "Besides, he doesn't feel this house warrants any attention."

"How can an abandoned house with a giant stuffed panda in the front window not warrant attention?" Caitlin asked.

"The Panda"
The house was located about a mile southeast of Frontenac along Ohio Highway 49. It was a yellow two-story house built in about the late 1940s. The family who lived there left in the mid-nineties leaving the house abandoned and it had been empty ever since. Around 2005, a large stuffed panda appeared in the front window. Over the next six years the black and white toy got dustier and faded.

The back door was unlocked and opened into a sun room, added after the house was originally built. John, Katie and Caitlin entered the sun room. It had a dusty, musty smell to it along with a tinge of rotting wood. "That's always a wonderful smell," John said, crinkling his nose.

"Ew. Do all houses smell like this?" Caitlin asked.

"When you don't live in them for a decade, yes," Katie answered.

They left the sun room and entered the kitchen which was nicely stuck in the 1970s. A huge bird's nest rested in the corner above the counters on the wall. John headed toward the doorway to the living area while Katie headed toward the sink and Caitlin headed to the refrigerator.

"I wouldn't open that if I were you," John said.

"Why not?" she asked.

"You never know what you will find in an abandoned refrigerator. One time Frank, Matt and I found a refrigerator in the basement of a house we were investigating when we first started the Society and we opened it and not only did it smell like death rolled in rancid meat and year-old milk, it had three dead raccoons in the freezer. We then decided that we will never open refrigerators unless they are taken out of the house," Katie said.

"Ew," Caitlin said again.

They walked into the dining room and just began wandering around. The dusty and matted carpet was an ugly green color. Holes could be seen in the walls and the ceiling. There was one bedroom underneath the stairs that had a ragged mattress in it with a pile of animal excrement covering it.

"I think it's clear to see what that mattress was used for...until the animals got to it," John said. They left the bedroom and began walking up the stairs. Caitlin went over to the stuffed panda and looked at it, shining the flashlight on it, turning it off when a car would pass by. "Holy crap, this is disgusting."

"What is it?" Katie asked.

"The second floor is just covered in animal crap," John said as he descended the stairs. "Wall-to-wall poop up there. I've never seen anything like it."

"Should I move this panda?" Caitlin asked.

"Why?" Katie asked.

Caitlin shrugged. "I don't know. I think the house would be less creepy if the panda was not in the window."

"But looking out the window is the only thing the panda is able to do. There's no one around to play with it. No one to love it. The panda needs this window," Katie said.

John looked at her. "Are you high?"

"What? Why I can't I treat inanimate objects as if they have a soul and feelings?" Katie asked. "What I said makes more sense than the real reason the panda is probably sitting there. Where did the panda come from anyway?"

"If you're bolting in the night they may not have had time or the room to lug this gigantic thing with them," Caitlin said. "So we're just going to leave it here."

"Yeah. Come on, let's go. There's nothing in here," Katie began and the three of them went back through the kitchen and into the sun room. "Frank was right."

They left the house as they left it. The panda continued the sit in the window, looking out over Highway 49.

Mound Cemetery

2011-11-18T11:00:00.002-06:00

There are several scenic places in Douglas County from Mount Oread on KU's campus, to Well's Overlook south of Lawrence to Liberty Hill near Baldwin City and plenty more. One of them is a small hill south of Stull where you can see the Clinton Lake Dam ten miles away. Mound Cemetery was originally started in 1888 and contains about two dozens graves mostly from the Ice, Rake and Hall families that lived around the area.

Over the last few years, Mound Cemetery has been lumped into the stories and tales given to nearby Stull Cemetery and has been erroneously referred to as "Old Stull Cemetery" which is inaccurate as Mound wasn't established until almost twenty years after Stull Cemetery. Rumors claim that the trees on the hill formed a pentagram and that a witch is buried under the pine tree.

The intersection where Mound is used to be a small hub of activity. There used to be both a school and a church at the corner but both are long gone. School-aged kids now go to Perry-Lecompton or Shawnee Heights in Shawnee County and church services are preformed by the church in Stull or Clinton or another nearby community. The cemetery is a nice place to go to be alone and is a unique cemetery in Douglas County essentially being both isolated and in plain sight.

The trunk of a dead tree in Mound Cemetery. The tree has since been cut down leaving only a stump.

I don't like when people just let their dogs run around higgeldy-piggeldy around the neighborhood. The worst offenders are people who live in the country and their damn dog chases you for a quarter of a mile because you drove past their house. I don't care if you are on 110 acres, leash your damn dog, idiot because it's being a nuisance and is one jerkass driver away from being run over.

I had a friend who tried to scientifically prove that it's not money that's the root of all evil but women. Granted he was going through a break-up at the time but his theory was almost sound. However, now that I think about it, lack of money did seem to be a major factor though. So maybe Brutus is onto something.

Doomsday!

2011-11-17T14:30:00.058-06:00

An ad for the Death of Superman

Nineteen years ago tomorrow, DC Comics did the unthinkable. They killed Superman. Sure, it was clearly a stunt thought up because they couldn't marry Lois and Clark because of the new TV series and to help boost sales of the fledgling series but it got a lot of people interested in comics. I began reading comic books because of the Death of Superman and continued to read them until 2002. And I've started reading them again.

The story was simple. A monster erupts from below the Earth's crust somewhere in Ohio and begins a trail of senseless destruction, killing birds, snapping the necks of deer and overturning semis until he is met by the Justice League--not the good JLA, the one comprised of C-Listers. The monster, named Doomsday by Booster Gold, easily disassembles the JLA and only Superman still stands. Superman and Doomsday battle halfway across the country until they wind up in Metropolis. The seven-part storyline is essentially just a slugfest (which is what I mainly see complaints about) so it's pretty easy to follow and the editors do a good job adding footnotes to the comics when things from previous issues show up like the Underworld and the Tree City so new readers are not completely lost.

Superman would come back, of course, but not until after an 8-part funeral which showed Supergirl trying to fill the void, an out of control funeral, Metropolis flooding and Jonathan Kent having a heart attack plus a 20-part Reign of the Superman where four Supermen supposedly returned from the dead.

Doomsday!
Originally published in Superman #75 (Jan 1993)
Written and penciled by Dan Jurgens
Inked by Brett Breeding
Lettered by John Costanza
Colored by Glenn Whitmore
Superman created by Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster
All characters and stories (C)1993 DC Comics. All rights reserved.

One of my favorite pieces of art. From Wizard Superman Tribute (Apr 1993). Art by Dan Jurgens, Brett Breeding and Mike McNabb.

Here's To You, Mrs. Robinson

2011-11-16T11:00:00.002-06:00

One hundred years ago today, Sara Robinson, an original settler of the Kansas Territory and wife of first Kansas governor Charles Robinson, passed away at her home at the age of 84. She was born July 12, 1827 in Belchertown, Massachusetts. In 1949 she began seeing Dr. Charles Robinson and the two married October 30, 1851.

When the Kansas-Nebraska Act was passed in 1854, they committed themselves to the abolitionist cause and moved out to Kansas, Dr. Robinson arriving in July 1854 and Sara arriving in the Spring of 1855. Sara wasn't fond of life out in Kansas and spent a lot of time visiting relatives back east. The Robinsons had no children and eventually contributed much of their estate to the University of Kansas including most of where the main campus is now.

Dr. Robinson passed away in 1894 and Sara remained at their house, Oak Ridge, until her death in 1911. The house burned down in 1992.

So far all Brutus and Gladys have been fighting about is who's right and who's wrong. Are they actually arguing about something or do the Thornapples just constantly argue over who is right.

And you know they are fighting over either some kind of food or something one of them read on Wikipedia that wasn't properly sourced.

Brutus' Dentist Goes Spelunking

2011-11-15T09:55:00.001-06:00

I had a supervisor a long time ago who was grading people on something he was not able or supposed to grade people on. A bunch of people complained and he was told not to grade us on that again. His bosses listened to us because it's easier to believe 10 people are in the right than 1 person. That's why I don't understand why it seems easier to believe that 14 million are "lazy" just because they are unemployed. Only around 80,000 jobs were created for the month of October. That's 80,000 jobs for 14 million people. How many of those jobs are for seasonal help? How many of those jobs actually pay a wage that's conducive to living? How many of those jobs are permanent with no chance of elimination? How many of those jobs are real?

And as for "rich" people being "job creators", why would they create jobs when no one is buying anything because they don't have any money because they are unemployed? Jobs are created when there is a demand for products and services, not because companies are paying less taxes.

Your dentist isn't trying to be funny, your teeth just are that bad.

Schoolhouse Poem

2011-11-14T11:00:00.014-06:00

When I was researching one-room schoolhouses in my county, I got most of my information from a book specifically written about one-room schoolhouses in my county. With the Deer Creek School entry, the writer found a piece of paper with a poem written on it and wrote it down for posterity. I did the same thing because I thought it was a cute poem about going to school on a one-room schoolhouse. The school still stands, owned by the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers.

Today I started to school

I learned some words and a number of rules

I drew some pictures with colored chalk

The teacher said I mustn't talk

At recess we played some games

I learned most all the children's names

Most of them seemed to be all right

But one big boy tried to start a fight

It makes me tired to sit so still

I don't like school and I never will

But the little boy that sits in front of me

Is just as cute as he can be.

-Untitled poem by unknown author

The days will continue get shorter until December 22nd and will then proceed to get longer. You can tell Brutus is depressed because he's sucking the color right out of the strip.

Like a Narcoleptic Horse

2011-11-13T15:00:00.034-06:00

I just want to thank all of you who did not go see the Adam Sandler movie "Jack and Jill" this weekend. "The Immortals" have claimed the number one spot this weekend with $32 million. "Jack and Jill" just took in $26 million to claim number two. It's important to make sure movies were the star plays both a man and a woman are shunned no matter who is in the role.

Beetle Bailey

While some people might find it sad and a little insulting to showcase General Halftrack's slowly deteriorating stroked-out mind, I find it hilariously amusing. He looks so happy.

Crankshaft

It's one thing to not see what color the flags are. It's another thing to actually not see the flags. This comic demonstrates that either Crankshaft is blind and shouldn't be driving that lawnmower or that he doesn't give a rat's ass about your precious utility flags.

Maybe both.

The Born Loser

Is the last panel supposed to have Veeblefester saying "Now, now!"? Maybe "Not now!" or something else but the last panel is completely confusing.

Get Him My Pretty

2011-11-12T15:52:00.000-06:00

That would get me to mind somebody because those flying monkeys are the Devil's henchmen sired by Satan himself.

Dr. Gladys Kevorkian

2011-11-11T11:00:00.004-06:00

Lisa: Hmm, thank you Bart, for yet another touching "Bart's People". Now,turning to...

Bart: I just think our veterans deserve a little recognition.

Lisa: That's what Veteran's Day is for, Bart.

Bart: But is that really enough to honor our brave soldiers?

Lisa: Eh, heh, heh...they also have Memorial Day.

Bart: Oh, Lisa, maybe you're right, maybe you're wrong! The important thing is, veterans deserve a day to honor them!

Lisa: [through clenched teeth] They have two!

Bart: Well, maybe they should have three. I'm Bart Simpson.

Who the hell is Brutus talking to and why does Gladys look so mean in the last two panels? It's almost as if she's trying to mentally tell Brutus to "do it" and that "no one will miss" him.

Crock Has Never Been Funny

2011-11-10T15:05:00.005-06:00

I bought a Crock book at a local bookstore. It was only a dollar and I don't have any Crock books despite having a dozen Hi & Lois, Beetle Bailey and Belvedere books. I read through it and learned that even though Crock is a humorless, badly drawn wasteland now, it was a humorless, badly drawn wasteland then, too.

Crock was created by Bill Rechin, Don Wilder and Brant Parker in 1975. The strip is currently done by Kevin Rechin and Bob Morgan.

Family Is Family

2011-11-10T11:20:00.002-06:00

There's just so much wrong with the television show Yes, Dear. It came it a time when people on TV got to marry way out of their league. And to be honest, it's a pretty tame series and it's hard to believe that this show was created by the same guy who created My Name Is Earl and Raising Hope. But somehow, Yes, Dear is one of my favorite TV shows. I can watch it any time it is on and it makes me laugh.

Yes, Dear premiered October 2, 2000 and it was not expected to be a big hit. "TV Guide" felt there just weren't enough laughs in the show but being sandwiched between The King of Queens (1998-2007) and Everybody Loves Raymond (1996-2005) more than likely helped propel the series into a second season. The second season show better ratings than the previous. For the fourth season, CBS moved Yes, Dear as a lead in to the entire night (which also included Still Standing [2002-06], Raymond and Two and a Half Men [2004- ]) and the ratings plummeted causing CBS to cancel the show but then order 13 episodes for midseason just in case. CBS canceled the John Goodman comedy Center of the Universe (2004-05) after only 10 episodes and put on Yes, Dear, which did better in the ratings and received a sixth season pickup but for only another 13 episodes. Yes, Dear ended February 15, 2006 and was replaced by Out of Practice (2005-06) which aired it's final two episodes of the 14 it did air of the 22 ordered.

From TV Guide. From left, Clark, Snyder, O'Malley, Kelly.

People considered Yes, Dear an immediate failure before its premiere because all of the actors previous credits featured failed series. Anthony Clark was on Boston Common (1996-97, 32 eps.), Jean Louisa Kelly was on Cold Feet (1999, 4 eps.), Mike O'Malley was on The Mike O'Malley Show (1999, 2 eps.) and Liza Snyder was on Jesse (1998-2000, 42 eps.). Jesse is the only so-called hit but lost a lot of viewers gained from its lead-in Friends (1994-2004). What's even more amazing is what happened to one of the actors after the series ended. Mike O'Malley currently stars in the hit show Glee (2009- ) playing Kurt's (the gay kid) father. O'Malley even earned an Emmy nomination.

Yes, Dear has some laugh out loud moments. One of my favorite scenes features Brian Doyle Murray as George Savitsky trying to get a Bop-It game from Greg (Clark).

Yes, Dear also gave us this:

Before we get onto today's strip, here is yesterday's Crock:

I don't watch The Walking Dead but aren't zombies the walking dead?

I'm not a fan of broccoli but it is better when mixed in with something. My favorite is chopped broccoli mixed in with chicken, rice and Velveeta. Yum.

No. 29: All He Wanted

2011-11-09T14:00:00.034-06:00

Note: I wrote the story years ago, around 1998 I believe and actually submitted it to be published. I always felt this was one of the better stories I wrote from that era. The two times I submitted the story, it was rejected. But here it is. Interesting fact, this story has more cursing in it than any of my other stories. More on that later.

I hated, loathed, and detested this job. I saw the ad in the classified section of the newspaper and it seemed like a dream job. Care for an elderly man and earn $200 a day. That’s $25 an hour for eight hours. I immediately applied and got the job caring for a cranky curmudgeon by the name of Oliver Gifford. He had fired his last three nurses and I was to be his next victim.

It was all simple stuff like cleaning house and getting groceries. Oliver was able to get around and take a bath or shower and could cook, although he would rather watch me do it and mock me. We were able to tolerate each other and that’s probably why he kept me the longest. However, I was getting fed up with his verbal abuse.

“You make the Goddamn shittiest tuna noodle casserole I ever tasted,” Oliver growled.

“Okay, fine, next time you can cook it your damn self and cut out the middleman,” I responded.

“I don’t know why I don’t fire your ass!”

“Do it! Then I can get a better job that doesn’t pay nearly as well. Now eat your casserole old man while I go vacuum your room.”

I walked into his bedroom and began vacuuming. I was nearly finished when Oliver came back here and witnessed me accidentally knock over an old umbrella stand. “Goddamn it! Are you a fucking retard?”

“It’s just an umbrella stand. I’ll just stand it back up,” I turned off the vacuum and bent down to pick up the umbrella stand. “What the hell is an umbrella stand doing in a bedroom?”

“You’ll probably just fuck that up, too you Goddamned idiot!” Oliver smacked my arm away and set it up himself. “Big screw up…”

I threw down the hose to the vacuum. “That’s it! I’m sick of this! You have been yelling and cursing and demeaning me for the last three months. I figured sooner or later you’d show a nice side of yourself but no. We still bicker, we still fight. You yell and insult me and I use all my willpower to not put rat poison in your coffee!”

“Listen, you little sonuvabitch…” Oliver began.

“No, you listen! I’m sick of this! If you want better casserole or a vacuumed room, do it yourself or hire someone else but I’m gone,” I pushed by Oliver and headed down the hallway. “I don’t know what happened to turn you into a bitter old man but get over it and stop taking it out on everybody else!” I left the house, slamming the door and leaving Oliver alone.

Two days later, I went back to Oliver’s house to see how he was doing and to return his house key. The front door was unlocked so I walked in and noticed everything was exactly as I had left it. I hurried through the hallway to the bedroom. I slowly entered the bedroom and saw Oliver sitting at the desk. The room was only illuminated by two small lamps mounted to the wall. Oliver didn’t even notice me coming in. I peered over his shoulder and noticed he was looking at a photo album which was open to a headshot of a black-and-white photo of a beautiful sparkly-eyed girl who looked about in her early twenties.

“She’s very beautiful isn’t she?” asked Oliver.

His voice made me jump but I still answered quickly. “Very. Who is she?”

“My wife...back in 1942. She was 21. I had to leave her to do my time in World War II but when I came back in 1945 we immediately got married and wanted to start a family. In 1950 I had to leave again for Korea but in three years I was back and we were more in love than ever.”

“I didn’t know you were married. Why aren’t there any pictures of your wife hanging up?” I asked.

“Because her pretty face, sparkling eyes and glowing smile are just constant reminders of our undying love for each other and how I lost her.”

“What happened?” I asked, kneeling down beside him and looking at the pictures.

“My wife was always healthy. She would run at least a mile everyday, rain or shine. I would make fun of her for it but I respected it. Every morning she would get up and run. Well, about four years ago, she went out running and everything was fine until a 1994 Chevy Cavalier hopped the curb. In an instant it was over because of a goddamned drunk son-of-a-bitch!” I could see the tears forming in Oliver’s eyes but he tried hard not to let it show. “The police called and I rushed to the hospital but, of course, it was too late. I overheard the doctors talking and they said from the type of injury and the way the car hit, it was a slow and extremely painful death.”

Tears rolled down Oliver’s cheeks and I stood up. “I’m...I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“Nobody does except me and the kids...” Oliver closed the photo album, rubbed his eyes and turned toward me. “Why don’t you take the rest of the day off? I can handle everything around here today.”

“Are you sure?” not bringing attention to the fact that I quit a couple days ago.

“Yeah, go. Have a good day.”

I reluctantly left but at the doorway, I stopped and turned around. “I’ll see you tomorrow…”

“Good-bye,” he hollered back.

The next day when I arrived at Oliver’s house, I saw a police car and ambulance in front of the house. I ran up to the house but was stopped by a police officer. “Hold it there, son. Who are you?”

“I’m Oliver Gifford’s personal assistant,” I answered. “Is everything all right?” I asked even though I already knew the answer.

“I’m sorry but Mr. Gifford passed away in his sleep last night. A neighbor called it in.”

“In his sleep? So he died peacefully?”

“He was holding a picture of him and his wife, too,” the officer informed.

“Thank you,” I said and started walking away from the house. That was it. He just wanted to be with his wife and after four years of waiting he finally got what he wanted...and all he wanted.

Bil Keane, 1922-2011

2011-11-09T11:31:00.001-06:00

Creator of popular comic strip The Family Circus, Bil Keane has passed away at the age of 89.

Whatever Happened to Adela Miller?

2011-11-09T11:00:00.007-06:00

She disappeared sometime between 1880 and 1900. For twenty years she was listed on her family's census form: Adela Miller. Meanwhile her other siblings--Lucy, Julia, Robert, Elmer, George--remained. Lucy would leave after the 1900 Census, Robert would become the man of the house for the 1910 after Papa Miller would pass away in 1909. Elmer would move to Oregon and George would also disappear. George, I believe, stayed in the area but after 1880, the trail for Adela stopped. Census forms for 1890 were destroyed by a fire and she is absent from 1900. The Kansas 1885 Census forms are not available online which means going to the Kansas State Historical Society is next on my list.

Adela Miller was born January 23, 1860 presumably in Lecompton, Kansas to George and Margaret Miller. Shortly after her birth they moved to Prairie City, Kansas where they would end up having seven other children, two not surviving past their first year. The two children are buried near the Miller house, which I've written about, and George, Margaret, Julia and Robert are buried in nearby Prairie City Cemetery. Last I knew, neither Adela and George Jr. were buried there nor in either of the other nearby cemeteries. That's something I'm going to attempt this weekend: go to Prairie City Cemetery and make sure they are not buried there because there is a very good chance they are, just not with the rest of the family.

I originally thought that she got married and moved away but I'm finding no marriage information and the person I thought she would've married (a laborer who lived with the Millers for about six years) stayed in the area and married someone else. So did she move away after getting married and is now listed under a different name that I don't know and can't find? Or did she die and her death and burial information is just not listed? Over the next week, I hope to find out.

You would think Veeblefester would know not to let Brutus head a project. Talk about your mistakes working into double figures...

Mmm, Chili

2011-11-08T11:00:00.002-06:00

I've said it before and I will say it again: President Obama could figure out a way to bring about world peace and shit gold and Republicans still wouldn't like him. Hell, Obama could allow millionaires to pay 0% taxes, give massive tax breaks to corporations who ship jobs overseas and get rid of the EPA, CDC and Department of Education and Republicans would still dislike him. That's pretty hypocritical coming from a party who likened even the slightest disparaging word about President Bush to treason.

I wrote a whole other paragraph after this but I deleted it because it was just a rant. I feel better now so let's move onto today's comic:

Brutus now has a spork. But he now has metal bits in his chili.I never know how to take subtle jokes like this. A part of me thinks they are terrible because it requires you to pay attention and look for the joke. But the other part of me likes it for almost exactly the same reason.

Joe Frazier, 1944-2011

2011-11-07T22:25:00.000-06:00

"Smokin' Joe" Frazier, famed heavyweight boxing champion has passed away at the age of 67 after being diagnosed with liver cancer in September and reportedly in hospice care.

And He Literally Owns Marvin Gardens

2011-11-07T11:00:00.001-06:00

Veeblefester is so rich that #OccupyCleveland is just protesting him!!

Why do people at the Veeblefester Corporation care so much about how rich Veeblefester is? Don't they have better to do like...work? Those tea cozies aren't going to make/sell/ship themselves.

Be More Stupid, Veeblefester

2011-11-06T10:38:00.000-06:00

Welcome to the new Sunday installment of LAMNB featuring Sunday Comics. Next week I plan on having a new header made up just for Sunday but for now the regular LAMNB header will have to do. Enjoy some Sunday comics.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith

I don't exactly know what Snuffy and Lukey are doing but anything that could cause Snuffy to plummet to his death is all right by me.

FoxTrot

Clearly this is a Steve Jobs tribute but as someone who has read FoxTrot since it's creation I remember when the Fox family got their iFruit and Jason didn't like it. And he never really grew to like it, he had to use it because it was the only computer in the house. He felt the iFruit (and really the iMac) marketed itself to idiots who didn't really know what they wanted in a computer. Maybe Jason is more mourning the loss of Steve Jobs and his ability to convince people they need crap they really don't need.

The Born Loser

I'm going to assume that Brutus is fearing for his job and doesn't really think being "too intelligent" is Veeblefester's only flaw.

Red Screen Previews

2011-11-05T11:00:00.030-05:00

I think I finally got a schedule hammered out for how LAMNB is going to work for the time being. The schedule can be found over on the sidebar. This week was a bit off but blame that on November not starting until Tuesday. The cemetery thing is going to be my pet project as I plan on showcasing each cemetery in Douglas County. The first one was Adams and the second one was yesterday's Pioneer Cemetery. That only leaves only 87 cemeteries to go. 84 if you don't count the three that are lost. I don't really know what I plan to gain from this except access. Now onto today's comic:

My wife and I went to see Three Musketeers last weekend. I still don't know what to make of it. It wasn't good but it wasn't bad either. I found Milla Jovovich's character, Milady, to be kind of pointless and annoying and I found James Corden's character of Musketeers man-servant Planchet and Freddie Fox's portrayal of King Louis XIII to be two saving graces of the movie. Also, Christoph Waltz.

What I'm getting at here is that we didn't see very good previews either. The Immortals is really the only one I remember which I thought was a waste considering it was coming out in less than two weeks and I can see previews of it on TV. I like previews that show movies coming out four to six months from now.

Andy Rooney, 1919-2011

2011-11-05T09:56:00.000-05:00

Andy Rooney, popular radio and television along with 60 Minutes commentator has passed away at the age of 92 just a little over a month after his last segment on 60 Minutes. You can read a full obituary here.

Pioneer Cemetery

2011-11-04T11:00:00.087-05:00

Boulder marking the cemetery, along Iowa Street.

Pioneer Cemetery, originally called Oread Cemetery, was established shortly after the founding of Lawrence in 1854. Oread was originally the city cemetery until it became too much of a hassle to keep up the cemetery and after 1882, the cemetery fell into disuse. Renamed Pioneer Cemetery in 1928, the cemetery was the burying ground for early Lawrence settlers, Civil War veterans and victims of Quantrill's 1863 raid on Lawrence. Most burials were re-interred in Oak Hill Cemetery and Pioneer was largely forgotten. In 1953 the University of Kansas assumed responsibility for the cemetery and reopened it in 1968. The cemetery is now used for burials for faculty, family and friends of Kansas University.

Thomas Barber's grave.

The large marble obelisk near the center of the cemetery marks the grave of Thomas W. Barber, who was killed in December 1855 during the Wakarusa War. Barber's body was held in the Free State Hotel where he was immediately considered a martyr. His murder inspired John Greenleaf Whittier's poem "Burial of Barber", which is inscribed on the two stones on either side of Barber's grave. Barber is also the namesake of Barber County, Kansas and a one-room schoolhouse established on his original claim in 1871 was named Barber and still stands just north of Clinton Lake.

One of the mass grave trenches.

After Quantrill's Raid in 1863, most bodies were buried in two long mass graves. After Oak Hill Cemetery opened, most were unearthed and reburied there. The long trenches that used to be the mass graves can still be seen and four Quantrill burials are still in Pioneer and still have headstones. Due to the years of neglect the cemetery faced, a lot of the headstones have been broken and have been placed in cement in an effort to preserve them. Pioneer Cemetery is a rare quiet spot located in a busy area of Lawrence.

Here are some additional pictures of Pioneer Cemetery.

Chester Hay (1835-1863) gravestone.

Civil War graves from the Wisconsin Volunteer Infantry who died of typhoid in 1862.

Gravestone of Mary Jane (1818-1864) and Charles Thomas (1858-1859) Stearns.

Gravestone of Maynard Wolfe Shelly (1928-2002) featuring a mathematical equation.

Epitaph for Leaner D. Speas (1827-1864).

What Brutus is doing is not called blinking, it's called sleeping. There is a huge difference Gladys and now you are misleading children into think that when they doze at the kitchen table at breakfast they are blinking.

Also, pretty sure there is no "daily allottment" for blinking. You do it as often as you need.

Boris the Bear

2011-11-03T14:30:00.007-05:00

One of the many titles I would often get in those comic book grab bags was Boris the Bear. Boris the Bear was created by James Dean Smith and Steve Mattsson and appeared in his own Dark Horse Comics title for twelve issues until, disagreeing with the direction of the title, Smith left Dark Horse and continued Boris the Bear under his own company, Nicotat, with issue #13.

The first three issues of Boris the Bear, published by Dark Horse Comics.

Boris would go on to parody just about every genre of comic that was out during the mid to late 1980s and sales showed it. The title became one of Dark Horse's most popular titles and that trend continued over into Smith's own company, Nicotat. However, Boris the Bear's issues became more sporadic causing popularity to wane and sales to drop. Despite Smith having the series plotted to issue #40, Boris the Bear came to an end with #34.

The first three issues of Boris the Bear (#13-15), published by Nicotat Comics.

Boris the Bear #34, the final issue.

Kiro

2011-11-03T11:00:00.003-05:00

Flooding had been common along the Kansas River since before the land was opened up to settlement. During the Great Depression and due to President Roosevelt's "New Deal", it was proposed that something be done to control flooding. It was proposed that the Kansas River be dammed. It was proposed that the dam would be placed 8 miles north of Topeka near the small town of Kiro in Shawnee County. The lake would then stretch across Shawnee, Pottawatomie, Wabaunsee and Riley counties coming to an end near Manhattan, nearly 50 miles to the west.

Construction of the lake would require relocation of the Union Pacific and Rock Island Railroads, Highway 40 and Kansas Highway 10 and would essentially cause Rossville, Silver Lake, Valencia, Willard, Wamego, Wabaunsee, Maple Hill and St. Marys, among others, to be wiped off the map. While many residents of these areas and prominent people in Topeka were against the construction and practically forcing people off their land, it seemed more people were eager to have for the economic boom that could come from have a huge dam and lake nearby. The Kiro Dam was going to part of a series of dams that were to be built to control flooding on the Mississippi and construction on the first one, the Fort Peck Dam in Montana began and it was soon discovered that it would be the only major dam constructed in the Missouri River Basin.

Topeka, Lawrence and Kansas City were all still on board with the Kiro Dam, mainly because it offered better protection to them without losing land. They also felt the Kiro Dam would cost less than building several tributary dams. But studies began showing that while Kiro would protect Topeka, Lawrence and KC other cities would remain vulnerable. A later study also showed that the protection offered by the dam would only be a fraction of the cost of construction and thus, not worth it.

The Kiro Lake (outlined in blue) with the dam (in red). Click to enlarge.

With the Kiro Dam now never going to built, the Army Corps of Engineers resorted to their usual brand of flood control with a complex levee system surrounding Kansas City but devestating floods the next couple of years caused people to demand a flood control system and while several tributary dams were approved, most were not given money because of local opposition. Only the Kanopolis Dam was built along the Smoky Hill River. Then came the Great Flood of 1951. That flood finally unified local and Federal governments into constructing additional dams. The only people not on board were the landowners. Tuttle Creek Lake, despite local opposition from landowners and the small towns of Randolph, Irving and many others, was constructed along the Big Blue River thus helping protect cities downstream along the Kansas River. Numerous lakes were soon built including Milford (1962-68), Perry (1964-70), John Redmond (1959-64) and Clinton (1972-80) to name a few.

A fart joke? I never thought I'd see The Born Loser stoop so low.

And who's Veeblefester to tell anyone they can no longer have burritos for lunch. I'll eat what I want, jackass.

Brutus Seems So Smug

2011-11-02T11:00:00.002-05:00

Welcome to the second installment of the new Losers Are Made, Not Born. With the absence of The Point of Beginning, LAMNB will become the new home to rambling acts of randomness so stories that make it into Liberty or random comics, reviews and other stuff will be placed here alongside your favorite Born Loser commentary. Hope you enjoy, let me know what you think and please tell your friends about this blog.

Bank of America announced yesterday that it was not going to add on the $5 fee that caused such a backlash over the last couple of months. Because of the backlash several other banks including J.P. Morgan and Wells Fargo have decided to not tack on any additional fees as well. Several customers even decided to move from their bank to a credit union. I've seen numerous people boast about the advantages of being in a credit union and that's fine. In your mind, this is your way of protesting the big banks and even though Bank of America is not going through with the fee at this time, what's to stop them from charging the fee next Spring, the only difference may be that they don't tell anyone and just do it. Which is what I would've done anyway.

I applaud Wastrel for not using the money Brutus and Veeblefester give him to buy booze like so many other homeless people. Although I guess Wastrel could've stolen that leaf blower from Brutus' neighbor Al before coming over to the Thornapples.

Immortal Beloved

2011-11-01T11:00:00.053-05:00

I used to never show anyone anything that I wrote. In high school I used to write all the time and if someone asked to read something, I'd be okay with it but I wouldn't be thrilled. I know writers have to show what they've been writing so they know what's wrong and what's right with it but typically the people who would read my stuff would either like it or hate it. With a few exceptions, these people wouldn't know good writing if Michael Chabon tattooed a story on their chest. I wrote this story back in 2000 about a girl I was dating at the time. I made the mistake of wanting it actually typed up and looking nice so I typed it out on a computer at school and saved it to the desktop. And then proceeded to forget about it which caused other people to find it and read it. I wasn't thrilled that people were reading it but while it was initially embarrassing, people either got over it pretty quickly or it was such a well-written piece of literature that they just couldn't make fun of it. I'm going to go with the former.

Here's the story I wrote, Immortal Beloved. Or you can just skip down to the comic. Names in the story have been censored.

Immortal Beloved

By Brian Hall

In a perfectly-ordered universe, on a perfectly-ordered world there is a word that can move mountains, clear up grey skies. A simple word that contains universes: Love. The day started out ordinarily enough. I was headed to work when a woman, dressed in all black and white appeared. “Greetings, Brian, I bring you a message from the Underworld…” she began.

“What? The Underworld…?”

“You know—Satan, the Devil, Beelzebub, Lucifer. He wants to help you save one of your most treasured friends. A lovely creature named M-----.”

“M-----? Where is she?”

“Safe and protected in the heart of Hell. You are cordially invited to retrieve her.”

“Why is he doing this?”

“He’s pure evil. What other explanation is there?” Suddenly, a hole opened up in the Earth and the woman pointed down it. “This crater will lead you to her but the physical and psychological destruction could very well kill you and her in the process.”

Without even thinking, I began my descent. The stairway to Hell is long and winding. The gold banisters were blackened and the marble steps were cracked. From the shadows around me, spiteful eyes peered. Clawed hands reached out and mocking voices screeched unspeakable things. What I didn’t expect was the psychic invasion. It was as if my soul was being poisoned just by being in this place. My stomach churned and my legs grew unsteady. I struggled desperately to keep my thoughts clear, to remain focused on my goal. But I couldn’t. Their foul thoughts entwined with mine. I couldn’t tell where they left off and I began.

So I staggered...and fell. Like Alice down the rabbit hole but into a world no less surreal but far more vile. It felt like some dark force was ripping through my mind, tearing at every thought and every feeling. Like a worm burrowing through dreams and memories, through shrouded fears and guarded aspirations. I saw family, friends and lovers spewing forth from my own consciousness and being corrupted, poisoned and defiled by the ravenous darkness. As I struggled against them, I realized that everything around me was being formed by my own mind. There are many Hells and each one is formed by our own perceptions so who’s to say what’s waiting for me just around the bend?

“Dad…? Dad, are you listening to me?”

“What? Oh, sorry, Joel—sort of drifted off there for a minute. Now what were you saying son?”

“I was saying that I’m getting out of Baldwin when I grow up,” Joel said as I lifted him up and we walked through the field, up a hill to an old farmhouse.

“Really? And where are you going to go?” I asked my son.

“Well, first I’m gonna travel the world, y’know? And then, when I’m really old—like twenty or something—I’m gonna settle down in some big city somewhere. New York or Los Angeles. Maybe even London or Paris.”

I chuckled and held Joel closer to me. “Y’know, I once felt the same way. All I wanted out of life was to get as far away from the Kansas cornfields as possible. But then one morning, I woke up and realized that this place was all the heaven I needed.” We arrived at the house with M----- waiting and Stephanie sitting at the table ready for dinner.

After dinner we sat on the porch with Joel pestering Stephanie as she’s doing homework and little Abigail kicking inside her mommy. I pull my wife close and gaze into that great Kansas sky and know beyond all doubt that I am the luckiest man alive. When we finally get the two in bed, it feels good to have some time alone with my beautiful bride. Life may not be perfect but it’s as close as any soul could ever get.

“Brian? My water just broke,” M----- said quietly. I trust Stephanie to watch Joel until Uncle Dustin can come over and usher M----- into the car and head towards Lawrence. “Remember when Steph was born? You made a wrong turn and we ended up in Scranton? Luckily we were still able to get to Lawrence in…time? Brian? Brian...something’s wrong!”

The car screeches to a halt and I rush to her side. “You’re gonna be fine, Pussycat. I swear to you…” She’s hemorrhaging. And at the rate she’s losing blood, she could die and Abby with her. I ignore all signs and lights in Lawrence and arrive at the hospital. I burst into the emergency room, carrying my true love. “Help her!” I scream. They take my wife away and all I can do is wait. And pray.

The doctor comes over to me. “I’m sorry. We lost them both.”

I bury my face in my hands then turn and look up at the doctor. I slowly stand up. “It didn’t work ‘doctor’. It will never work! I know where I am and I know who you are!”

“Do you expect me to applaud you for that performance?” the evil incarnate began. “I gave you everything. Glories of the world, the adolation of the woman you cherish. It was absolute perfection! God Himself couldn’t have offered you more and you rejected it!”

“I knew that wasn’t the real M-----...my M-----. She’s still out there somewhere, suffering at your hands.”

“You’ll never get her back because I can just replace each reality with another and another until you become nothing and you can’t remember why you are here only that you once had a name, a life, a purpose. But now, there’s only the void.”

“Brian?”

“M-----?” It’s her. I know it’s her. Her voice is echoing across the gulfs of Hell. Penetrating my heart, restoring my faith...my very being. It’s her. Her consciousness gives me strength. Gives me hope. The Devil is wrong and his illusions won’t work anymore. I smash through seemingly endless realities like glass. I feel his shock and his fear because he doesn’t understand. How could he? My love for M----- is what makes me me and it gives my life meaning. Without it, without her, I truly would be in Hell.

The evil of this awful place has nearly destroyed her and every instant she grows weaker. Satan’s shadow continues to reach up and claim me, wave after wave. They try.

They fail. I have become blind to their darkness and deaf to their harrowing cries. All I can see, all I can hear is her! As I rescue M-----, at moment like this, words fail. And love speaks volumes. Is it my imagination or do the shadows shrink back as we rise toward the surface? Do they cower and whimper before the power of such a simple human emotion? A union of hearts able to triumph over Hell itself? Now what would Satan say about that?

It's amazing how much has changed over the last...sweet Lord, 12 years! What happened to my twenties?

Onto November

2011-10-31T13:15:00.001-05:00

I didn't really have anything planned to post today. I originally thought Brutus' shirt said 800 but then realized that it probably says "BOO." And I feel for Wilberforce and Hattie. I mean, if I lived in Cleveland I'd be terrified too.

To the Moon, Wilberforce

2011-10-30T13:40:00.001-05:00

A couple days ago, I bought a book titled Douglas County Historic Building Survey-A Photo Sampler at an antique mall and considering it's a book featuring pictures of old buildings and houses, I knew I had to have it. What interesting is that out of 115 entries in the book, 98 are still standing. I expected to see more houses and buildings on the National Register of Historic Places and buildings that I thought were historic. But the book does feature buildings I've never been able to get history on including this one that used to be part of a brewery.

I was a little disappointed that the Simmons Stage Station wasn't included in the book.

The Simmons Stage Station, a resting spot on the Santa Fe Trail along Highway 56.

It always seems out of character for Wilberforce to rail against his parents. But then again, Wilberforce just wants to stay up a little bit later and Brutus is making a Federal case out of it.

Dog Eat Doug Is "Strange"

2011-10-29T14:00:00.011-05:00

My local newspaper has a daily "column" where you can call or email and ask the newspaper questions and they will attempt to answer them. It's my favorite section. Today, this was in the paper:

Well, maybe Brian Anderson, who does Dog Eat Doug, thinks you are pretty strange. Dog Eat Doug is one of the better comic strips out there. In fact, it's extremely difficult to start a new comic strip as newspapers are leery about replacing time tested strips like Beetle Bailey, Hi and Lois and even the Peanuts reruns with newer strips that are as good or better. The sad truth is that a comic strip's popularity is still measured by how many newspapers it appears in and people voting in comic surveys don't want change--they want familiarity. Below are some newer comics that, so far, really haven't hit it big despite their popularity online.

Cul De Sac

Cul De Sac's creator Richard Thompson won the Cartoonist of the Year Reuben Award and Calvin and Hobbes creator Bill Watterson has gushed about the comic repeatedly. It's funny, poignant and smart and well-worth the read.

Scary Gary

I like Scary Gary. I know there are some people who don't but the idea of a vampire moving to the suburbs is just an interesting concept.

Brewster Rockit, Space Guy

Lio & Heart of the City

Both done by Mark Tatulli, Lio is unique because it rarely ever shows anyone talking while Heart of the City tends to have a lot of talking. Neither strip fails to disappoint.

Dog Eat Doug

Now compare these strips with the one that I routinely comment on and read every single without fail. The Born Loser

I'm sorry but I just don't see any comparison between them.

Aunt Fritzi Has Beefy Legs

2011-10-28T13:05:00.003-05:00

Another abandoned house has bitten the dust. Roughly a year ago, a house sitting on land owned by a quarry was set on fire. The fire heavily damaged the house and the quarry seemed disinterested in keeping the house standing so when I drove by the other day, it came to no surprise that the house was gone.

I don't know when the house was built but shortly before the fire my friend Randy and I were able to go to the house and went inside to look around. There was no furniture--I think there was a mattress in one of the bedrooms upstairs but there were two reasons Randy and I didn't look around upstairs. One reason was the floor was literally covered in an inch of animal poop. After Randy and I left, I never went back except to drive by. At least I have pictures.

The fireplace in the house.

I hate when comic strips turn the panels to be vertical instead of horizontal. And there's something about how this is written that makes it's really difficult to read.

As of this writing, the weather in Cleveland is 47. Tonight is going to be a low of 37. Hattie is going to freeze her chubby Family Circus-esque legs off.

My Pet Monster

2011-10-27T11:00:00.000-05:00

It's about time for Halloween and I have decided that I hate it most of all compared to other holidays. And I have a kid. He never knows what he wants to be, when I take him to get a costume he leans toward the more expensive costumes. He's never really into it and for the cost of the $25 costume, I could a shit-ton of candy, which is really why he kind of cares about Halloween. To be honest, I was never a fan of Halloween either. I hated going to other people's houses and bothering them just to receive candy.

Here's the TV-movie "My Pet Monster" which I used to have on videocassette. It stopped working and I haven't watched it since.

I love the look of terror on Gladys' face. I don't, however, love the cliche that Gladys, big, strapping woman she is, being scared of a movie.

Gladys Is Mitt Romney, Brutus is Rick Perry

2011-10-26T09:35:00.003-05:00

"Ed? This is Frank. I'm at the cemetery visiting the Overlook Man as I do on the first of every month and I think you need to get down here," Frank said.

"Why?" Bilko asked.

"Because he's gone!"

"I'll be right there," Bilko hung up and began heading upstairs.

"Ooh, where are we going?" Caitlin asked.

"You're not coming. This is work related."

"Then I guess I will just stay here and call Mom and say I'm bored then she'll come pick me up and take me home to where all my stuff is," Caitlin said.

Bilko pursed his lips and squinted. "Are you sure? We're going to be looking for a dead body."

"Is that supposed to keep me from going because that sounds awesome," Caitlin said.

Wanna read more? Stull #22 went up on Saturday. Read it!!

Chip is apparently confused. Just because there have been an onslaught of debates doesn't mean the election is around the corner.* I wish it was because I don't think I can handle nearly another twelve months of this. And I don't think Wilberforce can handle his parents fighting every other week either. It should at least get interesting when the debates feature President Obama and whoever the Republicans decide on.

*The only elections taking place in 2011 are special elections to replace people who resigned. There are also some state legislation elections taking place.